Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

OK.. i might be sued for plagiarising.. but hopefully i won't get sued ok..

Today i went to Popular bookstore while my dad and sis were in church (doesn't mean i didn't go ok.. i went, but they got meeting and sunday classes which doesn't invlove me)

so while they were busy with their stuffs, i went to Leisure Mall and went to Popular to read some books (yes.. i am that studious.. XD XD) i read some comic books before got bored of it and went for something more interesting.. then i fumbled across this book





So.. men are from mars and women from venus huh? i have heard of this book before but didn't tought much about it.. so since today i had the chance to read it (for free), y not? haha

first and foremost.. this book is awesome.. y? because it really does tackle the problems among males and females..and the central theme of the book is this

DIFERRENCES AND LEARNING HOW TO ACCEPT DIFFERENCES

i glance through very quickly through the overview of the book and very quickly, i saw one very interesting topic which caught my attention. Chapter 5 on communication. basically, as all of you are already aware, guys and girls speak different languages (ok let me rephrase that.. same language with different meanings and conotations)

Women, or females speak METAPHORICALLY so as to fully express themselves. Whereas men mean whatever they say LITERALLY. so meaning women don't really mean what they say and men do..

for example, look at these following diologue

Women: We never go on dates
Men: That's not true, we went on a date last Friday

Women: Nobody cares about me
Men: Don't be silly. Aren't i sitting here?

You see.. when women says that "we never go on dates" she don't really mean never. It is her was of expressing herself that she wants to go on a date with you. take a time off and spend some time with her alone, out of the working scope. Men on the other hand translate it as literally never and thus the reply would probably make the partner feel even worse off.

When women says nobody cares for them, they know that it isn't literally nobody. but she just want reassurance that you are there for her (exaggeration anyone?). yes you might be sitting next to her, but are u really there and gave some time into caring about her? what she really wants is to get your attention so that you can care for her. guys of course, again translate it literally and dismisses it as a non biggie.

now consider these 2 dialogues

Male: I am OK
Female: I am willing to listen to you

Male: I will handle this problem myself
Female: I would be more than please if i could help you out/ come on, i know there is a problem.. now tell me.

So, when guys say that they are OK, it means they are OK. yes, they might not be ok, but then they want to keep to themselves and that is how we (meaning other males including me) come in terms with our problems. you see, when guys are faced with difficulty or problems, they would withdraw into the 'cave' where we would want to be alone and literally alone. so when guys say they will handle the problem themselves, let them be. unlike females, guys don't talk metaphorically and probing further would worsen the condition. (just like how unprobing men can be to women's complaints)

another very intriguing thing for women i think would be silence. when their guy partner is silent, what do they mean? when females see that their males are silent, more often than not, they interpret it as a very bad situation if not a worst case scenario..

the fact is that men just don't know what to say. in essence, they are thinking "i don't know what to reply you. but i am working on it.. just give me some time." according to Dr. Gray, men keep silent so as not to say or do something that might hurt their partner, and because they don't know what to say, they keep silent.

all in all it boils down to one thing. Women speak metaphorically and men speak literally. Something like Frued's latent meaning (women) and manifest content (guys). and it leads back to the central theme of the book

DIFFERENCES AND LEARNING HOW TO ACCEPT DIFFERENCES

i strongly encourage everyone to buy this book as it will be a good read and a source of leisure.. anyone who bought it can then borrow it to me. XD

all credits are given to Dr. John Gray for his research.. hopefully i will not be sued for plagiarising k.. hehe

References:
Gray, J. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/006016848X.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg