Sunday, September 1, 2013

Humility

September 1st, 2013

Today's mass reading was about humility, and I feel very connected to this topic. I think many of us have forgotten the virtue of being humble, especially living in a world where we have to constantly 'prove' our argument, or substantiate whatever we say with a 'logical' reasoning. In order to appear smart and knowledgeable, we say things with more conviction, with more confidence, sometimes to the point of boasting. Note that conviction and confidence have no correlation with being right. Let's look at some excerpts from today's reading. 

My son, perform your tasks in meekness; then you will be loved by those whom God accepts. The greater you are, the more you must humble yourself; so you will find favor in the sight of the Lord. (Sirach 3:17-18)

"When you are invited by any one to a marriage feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest a more eminent man than you be invited by him; and he who invited you both will come and say to you, `Give place to this man,' and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, `Friend, go up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Luke 14:8-11)

My take on humility is that we always have to be aware of how we behave and say things. Just because you know something doesn't mean you have to say it in an arrogant, prideful, or boastful way, because it may not be true. When shown that your argument is weak, then you will be like the man in the Gospel, humiliated in front of other people. 

Even if your arguments hold true and are valid, there are better ways to present it than boasting and having the know-it-all attitude. Saying it in a calm manner or suggesting it as a tentative hypothesis are ways that will not make people be annoyed at you. 

I personally dislike people who say things loudly just because they think they know what they are saying. Obviously, me getting annoyed shows that it is something within me that I need to be aware of (counseling education is giving me a lot of self-awareness. Whenever you are upset, ask yourself why. In most instances, it's within you rather than outside of you). Why am I annoyed with such people? I suspect it's because it stems from my beliefs that there is no one truth (except for the fact that I believe in God), and that most things, if not all things, can be seen in different perspective. This belief conflicts with other's know-it-all attitude and thus forming a strain in the relationship. 

Now that I have examined myself, let's look at why do people want to boast, act arrogantly and be prideful? I suspect it's because deep down, they feel inadequate and inferior. They act as if they know everything to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. I have observed that (it could be a false, statistically insignificant observation) people who are truly knowledgeable do not act in a prideful manner. In fact, they act in humbling ways, and I suspect that it's because they know what they know, and they know what they don't know. They are secure in their knowledge, and do not pretend to know things outside of their competency. 

Of course, the environment plays a part as well. Some of us grew up in environments that promote our boastful, arrogant, and loud talking behaviors. The media (hint: HOLLYWOOD) is showing us, more often than not, that these qualities are positively looked upon. It surely gets you attention. 

All that said, we first have to evaluate ourselves whether we have this prideful attitude, and if we do, is it beneficial for ourselves and the community? If it is beneficial, then great. But if it is straining your relationship with love ones, friends, and family, then maybe it's time to evaluate how we can humble ourselves to better serve others and the world, rather than paying attention on feeding our inadequacy. I believe that there is no harm is being humble. Being humble doesn't mean being submissive, and being humble doesn't mean you don't sell yourself during interview. Being humble means knowing your strength and weaknesses, being considerate of other people's plight, and acting in ways that portray you do not know everything. 


God Bless~

Friday, May 17, 2013

Update

May 17th, 2013

It's been some time since I last updated my blog, and I guess this is a good time since my semester is over and I am having a little bit more time. Studies so far is going good. I should be graduating Summer next year (around August 2014). I have also secured scholarships for my next academic year, which is an absolute blessing. Still waiting for a few more, but thank you Lord for all these blessings.

Love life is going awesome. Very blissful and it is wonderful to have more time to spend with my love one. We are going to New York next week, and I am very excited about this trip. It will definitely be a blast, coupled with very tired jelly like legs at the end of everyday.

Work is also going good. More at ease with creating documents for courts and handling cases. The other day, I watched the movie 'Cold War', and I think one of the character (Sir Lee), said something that should be remembered.

Wherever you work, you need to know the rules of the game to survive. After learning the rules, determine the boundaries, so that you may stay within the boundaries and play according to the rules in order to succeed.

As for volleyball, I quit training because I was busy this semester :( Also wanted to spend more time with my girl. Hopefully I will be able to go play at the gym for fun in the Fall, even if I am not rejoining the club.

Oh did I mention how much I love the living expenses here? It is so affordable that I am loving it. 15 oranges for $1? A piece of porkchop for less than a dollar? Absolutely fantastic. :D

That's all for my update.

God Bless~

Sunday, January 6, 2013

FAITH!

6th January 2013

This morning I was in distraught. I woke up a little bit earlier than usual and managed to get my breakfast before mass. I even had time to online. While scrolling FB, I saw a video of people killing goats. It was swift and methodical. No torture. One can argue that it's merciful because the animals do not suffer for a long period of time.

Knowing that fact did not make it any easier to watch. My stomach churned when I saw the goats being decapitated and bodies being flung to a side. Without their head, they were still moving their limbs and it was not a sweet sight to behold. My immediate reaction was condemning the people who were doing it. But thinking on a little bit more, their method, as I said, was quick and methodical. They did not meant to torture the goats. They meant to slay it. Maybe for food. Maybe for prayer. Maybe for something else.

It got me to think how I am similar to them by my actions. I am no vegetarian and I love eating meat. Pork, chicken, fish, venison, mutton, prawns, crabs etc. all taste so good. I am condoning all these killings by wanting to eat them. Am I any different from the people in the video? I was in distraught.

I walked for mass and was quiet, pondering what should be done, and what can be done. I couldn't think of an answer. I stepped into the chapel praying and lifting up my distress. We had a different priest today and I was eager to hear what he has to say, and thank God for him. He managed to give me a peace of mind through his preaching. This might sound bizarre (or stupid, depending on how you look at it), but what he preached gave me an answer to my questions.

Today we celebrate the Epiphany of the Lord, where the Magi visited Jesus in the manger. All these events happened through faith. They had faith by following the star. They had faith even though they were foreigners. The priest made a distinction between faith and religion. Many people have religion, but how many have faith? Real faith? And he said something which struck me, which was the answer to my distress:

"Faith means believing that God is making things a little better, regardless of how bad you think the world is. He is working little by little everyday to make the world a better place. That's faith."

Seems like my faith has diminished to such a level that I do not even realize that I am not putting faith in God anymore. As I grow older, there are more and more atrocities that I am aware of. I always wonder about the pain of other people (can't help it. It's in my profession :p) so much so that I am blinded by the wonders of this world. So much so that I waver in faith, wondering whether God is really helping. My faith has undoubtedly diminish. And today, God is speaking to me personally, when I am distressed. He really has His own method of doing things. How awesome.

This year, Pope Benedict XVI has touted this the year of faith. Not the year of religion, but of faith. The Pope asked us to do 3 things; to profess our faith, to celebrate it, and to witness it. We are professing and celebrating it everytime we go for mass, but the hardest is to witness. Today I am a witness to something great and I thank God for that. I would want to be a witness for other people as well. Thank you Lord.

God Bless~

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Reflection of 2012

1st Jan 2013

It's the New Year and I think it's a good time for a reflection. 2012 has been a year of change. Big changes and I am going along fine with it I think. Came to the States to study my Masters in Counseling and it has been an ok journey. I still kinda miss my undergrad years though. It's a little different but I think things will change pretty soon when I am going to do my practicum and internship. I would want to be helping people :)

There are many many people whom I would want to say thank you to and below would be the list:

1) Suzanne Chong: I did not know anyone before coming to UNT. She provided me with lots of information, from GRE practice book, to applying to UNT, to coming to UNT. We weren't at all close before I came, and I think I bored her with my questions on FB message about UNT. However she has helped a lot and I wouldn't be here if not for her. Coming here made me know her a little bit more and she's actually a very bubbly, cheerful girl. It gave me a whole different perspective on her. Thank you Suzanne for all your help. I will be waiting for you to come back!

2) Louis - He picked me up from the airport. Absolutely no idea who he is, but well he picked me up :D Brought me to eat Chipotle and I didn't like it. Maybe I ordered the wrong stuff. lol. He helped me with shifting in and out during my first few days, drove me around to buy laptop and other necessities and I cannot thank you enough. Thanks Louis.

3) Tammy - for letting me sleep in her room while she was away. It was a good way to settle into a foreign place. She has also very boisterous and a good friend. Brings us to shopping once in a while and that's nice because I do not have a car. Thanks Tammy

4) Pao Kai and Yin Meng - The sweetest couple here. :D Thanks for always driving me to groceries shopping. I wouldn't be able to survive without the both of you. Well maybe I could, but it will be a very sad existence maybe. Haha. Thanks for the willingness to help out whenever I needed help with.

5) Shi Yun - The other Malaysian who is taking the same course as me. Thank you for helping me to settle into the course and lending me your textbooks. I wouldn't be as successful now if not for her assistance. Not to mention a lot poorer cause I need to purchase textbooks. :p

6) Ming Kai - The ex-president of Malaysian Student Association. He also helped a lot when I was shifting out from College Inn, and brought me to groceries shopping, whenever he is free. Since his house is the biggest around here, most of our parties are held at his place. From CNY to Deepavali. It's nice to have people around to mingle with during these times of festivities.

There are so many more people whom I would like to thank, for helping me transition. All the Malaysian friends here, Wen, Ying Zhi, Jennis, Kenny, Poh Lynn, Kumar, Victor and Annette, etc. ICSC members, Hitoko, Hsiu Shan, Mimi, Tiffany, etc. Volleyball gang: Will, Chase, Jared, Brandon etc.

Time to move on to 2013!

God Bless~