Humility

September 1st, 2013

Today's mass reading was about humility, and I feel very connected to this topic. I think many of us have forgotten the virtue of being humble, especially living in a world where we have to constantly 'prove' our argument, or substantiate whatever we say with a 'logical' reasoning. In order to appear smart and knowledgeable, we say things with more conviction, with more confidence, sometimes to the point of boasting. Note that conviction and confidence have no correlation with being right. Let's look at some excerpts from today's reading. 

My son, perform your tasks in meekness; then you will be loved by those whom God accepts. The greater you are, the more you must humble yourself; so you will find favor in the sight of the Lord. (Sirach 3:17-18)

"When you are invited by any one to a marriage feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest a more eminent man than you be invited by him; and he who invited you both will come and say to you, `Give place to this man,' and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, `Friend, go up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For every one who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." (Luke 14:8-11)

My take on humility is that we always have to be aware of how we behave and say things. Just because you know something doesn't mean you have to say it in an arrogant, prideful, or boastful way, because it may not be true. When shown that your argument is weak, then you will be like the man in the Gospel, humiliated in front of other people. 

Even if your arguments hold true and are valid, there are better ways to present it than boasting and having the know-it-all attitude. Saying it in a calm manner or suggesting it as a tentative hypothesis are ways that will not make people be annoyed at you. 

I personally dislike people who say things loudly just because they think they know what they are saying. Obviously, me getting annoyed shows that it is something within me that I need to be aware of (counseling education is giving me a lot of self-awareness. Whenever you are upset, ask yourself why. In most instances, it's within you rather than outside of you). Why am I annoyed with such people? I suspect it's because it stems from my beliefs that there is no one truth (except for the fact that I believe in God), and that most things, if not all things, can be seen in different perspective. This belief conflicts with other's know-it-all attitude and thus forming a strain in the relationship. 

Now that I have examined myself, let's look at why do people want to boast, act arrogantly and be prideful? I suspect it's because deep down, they feel inadequate and inferior. They act as if they know everything to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. I have observed that (it could be a false, statistically insignificant observation) people who are truly knowledgeable do not act in a prideful manner. In fact, they act in humbling ways, and I suspect that it's because they know what they know, and they know what they don't know. They are secure in their knowledge, and do not pretend to know things outside of their competency. 

Of course, the environment plays a part as well. Some of us grew up in environments that promote our boastful, arrogant, and loud talking behaviors. The media (hint: HOLLYWOOD) is showing us, more often than not, that these qualities are positively looked upon. It surely gets you attention. 

All that said, we first have to evaluate ourselves whether we have this prideful attitude, and if we do, is it beneficial for ourselves and the community? If it is beneficial, then great. But if it is straining your relationship with love ones, friends, and family, then maybe it's time to evaluate how we can humble ourselves to better serve others and the world, rather than paying attention on feeding our inadequacy. I believe that there is no harm is being humble. Being humble doesn't mean being submissive, and being humble doesn't mean you don't sell yourself during interview. Being humble means knowing your strength and weaknesses, being considerate of other people's plight, and acting in ways that portray you do not know everything. 

God Bless~

Update

May 17th, 2013

It's been some time since I last updated my blog, and I guess this is a good time since my semester is over and I am having a little bit more time. Studies so far is going good. I should be graduating Summer next year (around August 2014). I have also secured scholarships for my next academic year, which is an absolute blessing. Still waiting for a few more, but thank you Lord for all these blessings.

Love life is going awesome. Very blissful and it is wonderful to have more time to spend with my love one. We are going to New York next week, and I am very excited about this trip. It will definitely be a blast, coupled with very tired jelly like legs at the end of everyday.

Work is also going good. More at ease with creating documents for courts and handling cases. The other day, I watched the movie 'Cold War', and I think one of the character (Sir Lee), said something that should be remembered.

Wherever you work, you need to know the rules of the game to survive. After learning the rules, determine the boundaries, so that you may stay within the boundaries and play according to the rules in order to succeed.

As for volleyball, I quit training because I was busy this semester :( Also wanted to spend more time with my girl. Hopefully I will be able to go play at the gym for fun in the Fall, even if I am not rejoining the club.

Oh did I mention how much I love the living expenses here? It is so affordable that I am loving it. 15 oranges for $1? A piece of porkchop for less than a dollar? Absolutely fantastic. :D

That's all for my update.

God Bless~

FAITH!

6th January 2013

This morning I was in distraught. I woke up a little bit earlier than usual and managed to get my breakfast before mass. I even had time to online. While scrolling FB, I saw a video of people killing goats. It was swift and methodical. No torture. One can argue that it's merciful because the animals do not suffer for a long period of time.

Knowing that fact did not make it any easier to watch. My stomach churned when I saw the goats being decapitated and bodies being flung to a side. Without their head, they were still moving their limbs and it was not a sweet sight to behold. My immediate reaction was condemning the people who were doing it. But thinking on a little bit more, their method, as I said, was quick and methodical. They did not meant to torture the goats. They meant to slay it. Maybe for food. Maybe for prayer. Maybe for something else.

It got me to think how I am similar to them by my actions. I am no vegetarian and I love eating meat. Pork, chicken, fish, venison, mutton, prawns, crabs etc. all taste so good. I am condoning all these killings by wanting to eat them. Am I any different from the people in the video? I was in distraught.

I walked for mass and was quiet, pondering what should be done, and what can be done. I couldn't think of an answer. I stepped into the chapel praying and lifting up my distress. We had a different priest today and I was eager to hear what he has to say, and thank God for him. He managed to give me a peace of mind through his preaching. This might sound bizarre (or stupid, depending on how you look at it), but what he preached gave me an answer to my questions.

Today we celebrate the Epiphany of the Lord, where the Magi visited Jesus in the manger. All these events happened through faith. They had faith by following the star. They had faith even though they were foreigners. The priest made a distinction between faith and religion. Many people have religion, but how many have faith? Real faith? And he said something which struck me, which was the answer to my distress:

"Faith means believing that God is making things a little better, regardless of how bad you think the world is. He is working little by little everyday to make the world a better place. That's faith."

Seems like my faith has diminished to such a level that I do not even realize that I am not putting faith in God anymore. As I grow older, there are more and more atrocities that I am aware of. I always wonder about the pain of other people (can't help it. It's in my profession :p) so much so that I am blinded by the wonders of this world. So much so that I waver in faith, wondering whether God is really helping. My faith has undoubtedly diminish. And today, God is speaking to me personally, when I am distressed. He really has His own method of doing things. How awesome.

This year, Pope Benedict XVI has touted this the year of faith. Not the year of religion, but of faith. The Pope asked us to do 3 things; to profess our faith, to celebrate it, and to witness it. We are professing and celebrating it everytime we go for mass, but the hardest is to witness. Today I am a witness to something great and I thank God for that. I would want to be a witness for other people as well. Thank you Lord.

God Bless~

Reflection of 2012

1st Jan 2013

It's the New Year and I think it's a good time for a reflection. 2012 has been a year of change. Big changes and I am going along fine with it I think. Came to the States to study my Masters in Counseling and it has been an ok journey. I still kinda miss my undergrad years though. It's a little different but I think things will change pretty soon when I am going to do my practicum and internship. I would want to be helping people :)

There are many many people whom I would want to say thank you to and below would be the list:

1) Suzanne Chong: I did not know anyone before coming to UNT. She provided me with lots of information, from GRE practice book, to applying to UNT, to coming to UNT. We weren't at all close before I came, and I think I bored her with my questions on FB message about UNT. However she has helped a lot and I wouldn't be here if not for her. Coming here made me know her a little bit more and she's actually a very bubbly, cheerful girl. It gave me a whole different perspective on her. Thank you Suzanne for all your help. I will be waiting for you to come back!

2) Louis - He picked me up from the airport. Absolutely no idea who he is, but well he picked me up :D Brought me to eat Chipotle and I didn't like it. Maybe I ordered the wrong stuff. lol. He helped me with shifting in and out during my first few days, drove me around to buy laptop and other necessities and I cannot thank you enough. Thanks Louis.

3) Tammy - for letting me sleep in her room while she was away. It was a good way to settle into a foreign place. She has also very boisterous and a good friend. Brings us to shopping once in a while and that's nice because I do not have a car. Thanks Tammy

4) Pao Kai and Yin Meng - The sweetest couple here. :D Thanks for always driving me to groceries shopping. I wouldn't be able to survive without the both of you. Well maybe I could, but it will be a very sad existence maybe. Haha. Thanks for the willingness to help out whenever I needed help with.

5) Shi Yun - The other Malaysian who is taking the same course as me. Thank you for helping me to settle into the course and lending me your textbooks. I wouldn't be as successful now if not for her assistance. Not to mention a lot poorer cause I need to purchase textbooks. :p

6) Ming Kai - The ex-president of Malaysian Student Association. He also helped a lot when I was shifting out from College Inn, and brought me to groceries shopping, whenever he is free. Since his house is the biggest around here, most of our parties are held at his place. From CNY to Deepavali. It's nice to have people around to mingle with during these times of festivities.

There are so many more people whom I would like to thank, for helping me transition. All the Malaysian friends here, Wen, Ying Zhi, Jennis, Kenny, Poh Lynn, Kumar, Victor and Annette, etc. ICSC members, Hitoko, Hsiu Shan, Mimi, Tiffany, etc. Volleyball gang: Will, Chase, Jared, Brandon etc.

Time to move on to 2013!

God Bless~

Love, life and religion

      Yesterday when I was at mass, the priest preached about how Catholics should devout more time to prayer. And I agree. I do not pray enough I think, and hopefully with enough prayer, I get to be at peace with myself and with the world, knowing that God will take care of us.

     There is something which intrigued me though about his homily yesterday. He mentioned that there was a Catholic girl who messaged him telling him that she is very in love with this guy who is a non-Catholic and is considering marriage (something along that line). The priest said "Are you crazy?" (well that was the exact phrased he used in his homily, not sure whether he really did say that to the girl). He mentioned that one can be in love with another person, but to consider marriage, that's really dumb. He asked why would we want to make our soul suffer through these difficulty of living with another non Catholic. He did say however that conversion is possible, but the chances are slim. There are many Catholic young people, why do we need to choose someone outside the church.

     That got me thinking. And let me tell you upfront, I do not agree completely with his opinions. Marriage between people of different religion is tough, mostly due to differences in value. But are there differences in value within the Catholic church? Of course there is. Does it mean one is less Catholic than another if opinions differ? I don't think so. Are there evil people in the Catholic chuch? Sure thing. Are there good people with good values outside of the Catholic church? Plenty. That means that a marriage between people of different religion or same religion does not guarantee that it will be an easy or rough marriage. If you manage to find people whom you are compatible with, who has the same values, then great. It doesn't mean that if you find a person within the same religion, it's all going to be smooth going. It also doesn't indicate that if you find someone outside of the same religion, life is going to be terrible. There is no clear cut formula to happy marriage (how convenient it would be if there is right?)

     So now that the point is made, what makes marriage between people of different religion difficult? I think it has to do with the family as a unit, especially when there are children involved. If one is Catholic and another is not, then when children comes along, which religion will they subscribe to? If both parents are pious in their own religion, then each one might say that the children should follow their own religion, which would create trouble because now both partners are fighting.

     If one parent is religious, another is not, the pious parent might want the children to follow his/her religion, and the less pious one might say wait till the child grow to make a decision. This is also difficult because the pious parent would want the kid to grow up based on faith system, whereas the other parent does not understand the importance of it.

     This is where things get tricky for there is no easy solution. For pious parents, the argument might lead to "my God is greater than your God" or "my religion is better than your religion". Maybe one may not say that out loud, but there's meaning behind wanting the child to follow one's religious beliefs. For partners where one is religious and another is not, the non religious parent might argue that "Do you think we are unable to raise our kids good enough?" argument. And as I said, there is no easy way out because both parents have different beliefs about life and death, moral values and importance of living.

     The important thing for couples before they get married, is to iron out all these possible difficulties, even if they are from the same religion. This would be the best way to live harmoniously. If I do get married, I would definitely want my children to grow up as Catholics. That's because a big part of who I am today comes from my Catholic upbringing. I think I am a moderately decent guy, and I am not saying that there are no decent guys out there, but I am, and would want to raise my kids the way I know how, and one part of it is the church. Differences in values should be ironed out, regardless of religion.

I should really pray more.

God Bless~

    

    

Close to a year

     It's been close to a year now that I have been in the Denton -> Texas -> US. The year has not come to an end yet, but I think it's about time I update my blog with what has been happening throughout this 1 year, or almost a year. When I first got here, I was taking 9 credit hours (3 classes) and I do not have any work. I was very very very very very free then. It was fun because I had much free time to roam around, seeing events, and having more time to socialize with people. I was also looking for job frantically because I cannot afford to not have a job. I found a part time job, 10 hours a week, dealing with kids. I love kids, so that job was not bad. I still had time and Spring passed.

     During summer, I did not take any class because I would want to work full time, 40 hours, and immigration requirement, if I want to work full time, I cannot be taking classes. I need the money to support myself for Fall, and so I worked full time. Everyday it was going to office at 8, ends at 5, and I worked in 2 separate part time jobs, 20 hours each/week. So it was 8 till 12 in one place, 1 - 5 in another place. My work place was not awesome, and pretty stressed. What I feel more than stressed, is the helpless feeling I sometimes get from not being able to help students.

     After work, I will go to the gym once in a while. There wasn't anyone who plays volleyball during summer. I suppose many are not on campus, so it's pretty sad. I will come back from work, go to gym if I did go, and then cook. I shifted out from the dorm and into an apartment. Although summer was mundane because it was work everyday, my weekends were pretty ok since I get to go groceries shopping. I also got to go to Kansas City, which was nice. :)

     Fall came and I found a new job, a Graduate Assistant job which pays me well. Hurray! Thank God for all His blessings. 20 hours, and I am taking 4 classes. Contrary to Spring, I am very very very very busy this semester. Work, then class, then volleyball, and in between there's tutoring (because I became a volunteer tutor) and was the President of International Counseling Student Club, so I need to plan for events. During the weekends, I had volleyball tournaments and I got to go to San Antonio, Texas A & M, and University of Arlingon which was pretty nice.

     During this semester, I think I did not go Asian groceries shopping for 10 consecutive weeks. I need to get a trophy for that I think. XD Got to experience Thanksgiving. But on a whole, I think this semester I have been socializing less with people. Others are busy too and there just isn't time for chilling around. It's been months since I have been to Secret Recipe. Previously it's like a monthly event. Hahaha.

     I am happy with how this year is coming to an end. I have definitely learnt a lot in my classes, especially through the experiential learning. Gained some insight about myself and others. Miss my family and friends back home. Discovered that there are a lot of evil doings around the world and I am disturbed by it. Sometimes I think the world does need a superhero. Denton has spoilt me in many ways with it's traffic, weather, people and very affordable standard of living.

     Will go to Disneyworld, Universal Studio, Miami and Keywest next week. That is how my year is gonna end!

God Bless~

Religion and judgement

1st July 2012

Sometimes, people uses religion as a means to condemn other people, saying things like:

"If you don't believe in my religion, you will not be saved"
"You should not do such sinful things/behavior for God will not forgive (or will be very angry at) you"

What we fail to understand is that God is God, and we are not God. How could we claim to know what God thinks. How could we know that 'other people' will not be saved and forgiven?

God's compassion is so great beyond our comprehension that God could forgive even the worst of sinners, whom we mere humans see these sinners as as low lives.

And I believe that God's love is so great that God will save people of other religion, just because God loves all humanity, regardless of religion. I don't claim that God will definitely do that, but I believe so.

What we need to do therefore is not to judge, but to welcome people of all walks of life to embrace God, by our ways of life of not judging, to be accepting, to be holy, and to be LOVING!

Many a times in the Bible, Jesus rebuked the so called 'holy men' in favor of sinners simply because it is sinners that are seeking for repentance, forgiveness, acceptance and love. Jesus himself gave us the perfect example when he minister not to the righteous, but to the sinners, the sick, the lame, the afflicted. He wants to show us what following him should be like.

Let us not be self-righteous like the 'holy men' (scribes, teachers of Law etc.) who only put heavy burden on people, but do not help them to overcome nor alleviate their misery.

Jesus came for the sinners. We should help, welcome and love sinners too, and since all of us are sinners, let's love one another as God has loved us.

God Bless~

Somebody's gotta take the shit

June 29th, 2012

This post will be about how our world is not ideal due to many different reasons and because it's not ideal, somebody's gotta take the shit!

Ideally, our shit can decompose itself or just disappear, but it doesn't happen that way. Somebody's gotta take that shit! (literally)

Ideally, our rubbish can walk out the door and to the trash bin, but it doesn't happen that way. Somebody's gotta take that shit!

Ideally, all the trash in the world can fly itself to an unknown planet with no inhabitants, but it doesn't happen that way. We gotta bear this shit!

Ideally, smart people should be the boss, but it doesn't happen that way (and you have no idea how important this is). Everyone under them has to take loads of shit!

Ideally, people are compassionate about other people, but it doesn't happen that way. We often times make shit of out other people's life.

Ideally, the system in place is for the people, or rather, the majority of people. But what about the minority then? SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE THE SHIT! and it just so happens that most of the time, it's the minority.

Ideally, education should be provided for all, but it doesn't happen that way. Somebody's gotta take the shit of not having education. very sad indeed.

Ideally, everyone around the world has enough food on their plates, but it doesn't happen that way. Due to poverty, somebody's gotta take the shit of dying from starvation, going hungry due to too little food, eating food which is unclean/leftovers/expired. and it really pains my heart to see how people waste so MUCH food everyday.

Ideally, everyone works for the better good of humanity, but NO, it doesn't happen that way. People work for riches, fame, glory, and poor people have to take ALL the shit! they got no education or low education, low SES contributes to less than optimal growth, and they are less likely to break the cycle of poverty. this cycle is a piece of shit, but at the same time, this shit is a resistant to change shit.

Ideally, nobody needs to take any shit, but because it isn't an ideal world, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA TAKE THE SHIT!

So if you are one of the people on the receiving end (which I am sure you are every once in a while), suck it up, and move on with life.

God Bless~

Pentecost

26th May

Today Catholics around the world celebrate Pentecost. The day when the Holy Spirit came upon the apostles and they went out preaching the good news.

Today's reading stuck with me and I would want to share it out

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law" (Gal 5: 22-23)

I wonder how many of those that I possess and not just possess, but act it out behaviorally. How many of those above you possess and act out?

This made me want to express another point. In the Bible, Jesus once mentioned a parable. A father has two sons. He went to the first and ask him to work in the vineyard and the son replied "No" but later thought better of it and went. The father went to the second son and ask the same thing. The second son said "Yes" but did not go. Jesus asked the people who did the father's will and the people answered the first.

Action speak louder than words. And this is true for Christians and Catholics alike. If we say we are followers of Jesus but do not bear fruits of the Spirit, we are merely giving lip service.

And I believe (personal opinion) that non-Christians (or Catholic for that matter) who bear the qualities above will have salvation even when they do not profess the faith. Of course you can argue that they might not care about salvation and eternal life, but that's beside the point. Point is, we will not be saved just by lip service. It will come through our act and ultimately God's grace.

That is why I would say that I want my kids to be taught the Catholic faith and start young. People know the value of good education for kids. The value of good religious education is as important too. It doesn't matter if they want to change their religion when they get older. That is their choice. But I would want to do my part as a good father and let them start somewhere. I am so glad that I am raised as a Catholic. It is one of my pillar of life.

People can argue that I am reducing my death anxiety by conjuring up this ultimate being known as God and the concept of eternal life. Granted, I think it is almost impossible for me to argue otherwise (it would also be almost impossible for them to argue that God does not exist). But if by having this faith, it teaches me how to live a better life, I don't see why not.

I hope my life will exemplify some if not all of the fruits of the Spirit!

God Bless~

Mad

20th May 2012

Many people around me wonder whether I will ever get mad, and even if I do, will I ever act on that anger. I wonder myself too actually.

http://www.handbagfairy.co.uk/blog/fashion/the-voice-of-reason/attachment/shouting/

Have I gotten mad before? Well I have gotten angry and very disappointed before but I don't really remember an incident which I was mad. I do remember yelling at my dad once though. I don't think that was mad, more of disappointment.


I was 13 I think. Or probably 14. And I was about to go for a badminton practice (which later happened to have been canceled. boo hoo). So I need to leave the house but there was no one in the house except my little sister. My dad said he was coming back, but he haven't reach home and I was about to be late.


So I went off, and when I came back, I was scolded by my dad for leaving my sister alone at home. I was sad of course and disappointed and angry that he didn't see it from my perspective, that I was getting late for practice (when you are young, everything revolves around you right? XD).


I got the scolding, and I was quiet for a while. I wanted to bath and the feelings were welling inside of me. Just before I got into the bathroom, I shouted at my dad saying things like he only thinks of my sister and not me and whatever else which came to my mind then, and I was crying (Yes, I was crying then).

I was so embarrassed to have shouted at my dad. I think he got a shock. I got a shock. Didn't know I could actually do that.

So back to the question. Will I ever get mad? Maybe, but I don't think I will act on that madness. I will be more disappointed than mad, and instead of shouting, I will most probably keep quiet and be by myself.

http://www.veryicon.com/icons/emoticon/black-power-emoticons/quiet-512x512.html

I don't see the point in shouting when mad. If you want to get a point across, talking at an audible voice is perfectly fine. If the other person doesn't want to listen to you, no amount of shouting will do

Of course, it's not that I don't shout. I will if lets say I see someone do something dangerous or something, but not out of madness.


God Bless~

Bersih?

29th April 2012

Is spilling of blood necessary for a country to change? Throughout history, there have been many wars fought: for power, for money, for freedom, for peace. Whatever it is, usually there's a spill of blood before substantial change happens. But is that really necessary?

Just yesterday there was a big rally in Malaysia, and in KL, things didn't turn out well. Government are pointing fingers at protesters for not keeping their promise of a peaceful rally. Organizers of the rally are blaming the government and police of excessive force. In the process, things got ugly and people were hurt, blood were spilled.

I wonder what will happen if the protesters were allowed to sit in in Dataran Merdeka. I wonder what will happen if protesters took the opportunity to have the protest in stadium instead. More importantly, I wonder why either one of those two didn't work out. Of course each gave their own reasons for not wanting to back down. Gov said Dataran Merdeka not suitable. Ambiga said a last minute change of venue was not possible as they do not have enough time to contact the NGO's. REALLY?

I don't find the arguments on either side plausible. I think it all boils down to image. Gov don't want to be seemed as if they were losing grip of their power. Maybe the same goes for the organizers. They might want to show the Gov that they have the right to protest and speak up (which they do) and by changing the venue, their image might be gone.

I am proud that so many Malaysians came out in support for clean and fair elections. I really am. But I wasn't proud when I see people beating their own people up, regardless of which side was beaten. Some might say police was brutal and yes, some were brutal but not all. Some might say that the protesters were brutal, and yes, some were brutal but not all. The danger in categorizing it as an all or nothing is very dangerous as more often than not, humans are not that simple. What I dislike most is how in these cases of 'war', blood are spilled. And the question comes... WHOSE BLOOD?

Is it the organizers' blood? No I don't think so. They are still pretty much alive and kicking. Is it the top people in the government who gives orders' blood? No, I don't think so.. They are even more alive and kicking. It is the blood of the common people that are spilled, regardless of whether they are in the police force, or the ordinary citizens who were teared gassed.

If either one party thought for a moment about people's safety and put aside the issue of their image, maybe this won't happen. At the end of the day, it is the people, the ordinary citizens who suffers. So is blood spill necessary? In the world that I live in right now, I think it is. But I hope it will change in the near future. This will happen if people can think for other people's welfare and not hang on so tightly onto one's idea that it's become so rigid.

God Bless~

End of the First Semester?

25th April 2012

It's almost the last week of class and finals is in 2 weeks time. After that will be the summer. Man, time sure flies. It's gonna be the end of the first semester already.

Hopefully I will be working full time during summer to earn some money. >,< dire financial situation. hoho..

How has my first semester been? Relaxing I would say for the most part, since most of my friends are busy shit every now and then. So I better enjoy it. I think Fall's gonna be shitty busy for me. But of well life goes on.

Work has been getting better I guess. Kids are more warmed up to me now. I have certain kids which I so love them. Other kids are just.... well.. let's not talk about those kids. :p

Nowadays whenever I see an aeroplane, I have a feeling. Feeling of going somewhere. When you live overseas with a bunch of friends, inevitably you will hear about people wanting to go places. Some of my friends are going back to Malaysia. Others are making plans to go road trips or some other trips. And that leaves me ...... nowhere. At least not yet somewhere.

Planning to go somewhere during the winter. *prays real hard* I better start planning and budgeting ^^

Oh did I mention I love grocery shopping now? I so don't like it back in Malaysia. But now it's something which I.... take responsibility in. lol.. really, when you have got nothing to do, having something to do is really awesome.

God Bless~

Living in the US

Feb 26, 2012

So after talking about my journey here, let's focus on what I have been doing here.

Louis picked me up from the airport and I stayed at Suzanne's place for a while before moving in to my dorm, the College Inn (it's as old as Malaysia XD). My room is simple, but ok i guess.

The weather is always changing and there's really a pretty big difference in temperature from midnight till morning, till afternoon and night again. I can wake up at 3 morning (which I do at times) feeling hot and sweating.

UNT is a big university and there are still places which I have yet to know, but so far I would have known almost all of the places which are important to me and I don't get lost anymore. More like trying to find shortcuts nowadays on which is the fastest route to get to somewhere.

I am pretty much still trying to be more resourceful. It doesn't feel good to be always depending on others for things but sometimes I just need to and learn to be more muka tebal lor. ho ho. Everyone here is kinda like fighting for themselves as we all have our own goals and we take on different pathways.

Sometimes I do not understand the terms being used by the guai lou here and I am still adapting to it. More so when I first went for volleyball practice. Have no idea what they were saying oh em gee.. the terms they use is so different. outside hitter, deep, shallow, you're tight, second up, i've got hands, etc. but slowly getting used to it.

Class is ok. Some are boring, some are interesting, but I suppose it's gonna get more interesting as time goes by. As of now, I have some free time, not a lot, but enough to get by my studies, sports, work and daily living.

Life is different here for sure. I guess inevitably there will be perception of me partying here in the US, but... it's not happening as yet. This place at least is very peaceful. people are just contented with life and honestly speaking is pretty mundane... comparing it to KL.

God Bless~

Coming to the US

24th February

I know it's been a long time since I updated my blog and I am sorry for that. Well i tried updating it once i was here wanting to talk about my flights but then blogger wouldn't want to upload the photo and i was lazy to resize it. :p So it ended up without any post. Well let's talk a little about it then.

I came to US on 11th January (it's been that long? oh em gee) and being very not accustomed to travelling (alone some more), it was really a little crazy I think, but what to do.... air flight expensive ar.. seorang datang bagus la. hahaha..

So my flight was about 1 morning and from KLIA, my first stop is in Beijing, China. Once landed, IT WAS SO COLD. NO FREAKING JOKE! it was definitely less than freezing point cause i can see water freezing. so cold die and then was walking to another terminal. good thing I had someone to assist me, if not I will be so lost. the person was like 'THAT IS TERMINAL THREE. WE ARE AT TERMINAL TWO!! LET'S WALK FASTER!!!' I not gan cheong also kena chui until gan cheong.. lol.. boarded the plane safely to next stop, Narita, Japan.

I think Japan's airport pretty nice (not that others not nice). And I had to go to San Francisco next. no issue on boarding my plane here as I need not change terminal. Nobody to assist and I just found my way, but not a biggie.

When landed in San Francisco, I need to go through customs (which I was told need not by the agency which I bought ticket from... how dare they tipu me XD) and therefore I couldn't board my flight to Dallas on time. I was like... sei lo... sei lo... i am gonna miss my flight soon.. quickly le!!! i even asked one of the officer whether I can get priority (so Malaysian right? XD) but he said nope. ><

so line the long line for custom check and I really didn't manage to board my flight. Had to reschedule to another time, about 6 hours later definitely got place, but there's a plane in about 2 hours time, and they put me on the waiting list. if got people didn't board the plane, i can go. But that is IF.

So go get my lunch and wait in full anticipation that I will have at least a place. A lot of people were also going to Dallas and on the waiting list as well and I was pretty back on the list. Shit. This means if I take the next flight, I will reach at about 1am and I really don't 1 to trouble Louis (the person who will be fetching me from airport). Initially I should be reaching Dallas at 5 pm, but then it was pushed back to 7pm and if this 7pm doesn't have place, I will be there at 1am O.O!!

So the time for boarding came and I was asked to wait while the people who have the right ticket enter first... not that many people.. but the plane ain't that big either >< finally.. i was asked to go inside as there was place... i was ELATED! went in and sat... then 2 minutes later, someone said the person with the actual ticket just arrived and asked me to kindly leave... i was like.. "Really?" so i went out of the plane.. and then when i was just about to exit the ramp connecting the airplane and the airport, someone said.. 'u there.. u wait a while.. u follow me.. there should be a seat.' and i was .... confused but hopeful. so the dude went in.. checked and there was 1 last seat available. and i got that seat. I was so happy.

Got to Dallas safely. Got to Denton safely and the rest they say is history... history will be coming up soon. XD

thank God for my safe trip

God Bless~

Alex's Wedding

7th January 2012

It was the day of Alex's wedding. He's my cousin btw. ;D My family went down to Melaka for the wedding and it started at the church where they exchanged vows.

When they reached home, it's the tea ceremony time.

Of course, there was the dinner at night. How could there be no dinner right where everyone Yum Seng.

After dinner, I thought that's all but no... I was asked by my cousin to go clubbing. Apparently, my other cousins told him that if he didn't go, they wouldn't attend his wedding when it comes. XD emotional blackmail. hahaha.. First time to a club.

During this wedding, I saw a lot of my kiddy cousins growing older and i felt that I am growing older too. Now I kinda understand what the older people meant when they frequently said 'wah, you changed already'.

God Bless Alex and Yu Kar

God Bless~

Grueling process to US

30th Dec 2011

Throughout this whole year, my one aim was to go to UNT for Masters and now that I am going, I am thinking of writing down a short (hopefully) description of how to get to the US.

1. After you have an idea where to go and what to study, you would need to see the requirement of the university for the course you are wanting to go. Most of the course for Masters in the US would require you to pass a test, either the GRE (most of the courses), GMAT (business i think) or some other test.

Mine was the GRE and there's a general GRE paper and specific GRE paper. You can take the specific ones to 'show off' your knowledge on a particular field, but it's not necessary. Of course, it would cost more also if u take the specific paper, but you MUST take the general paper.

GRE is tough, and I once heard it's 'the mother of all test'. It's also expensive (appx. RM 560). If you fail, you have to pay the money again, so better don't fail. There are books to guide you through the examination and it's best to study about at least half a year. I rushed through it. I think I studies like.. 2 - 3 months. Good thing I passed.

2. Besides the GRE, another test that international students need to take would be an English proficiency test. You can take either TOEFL or IELTS. I took TOEFL and it wasn't that tough. Just be on your toes as it's also pretty expensive (appx. RM 480)

3. If let's say you passed both the test, then YAY! I suppose the university will require some recommendation letters, a completed application forms, registration fees, writing sample etc. Check for the requirements and go get all of those done. Don't get frustrated or discouraged when your lecturers don't reply to your email about the recommendation letter. BUG THEM! :p

For institutions in Texas (I don't know about other states), you can actually send applications online on applytexas.org. It's really cool in a sense that you can complete application and send to many schools at once, and you can pay through credit card online too. 1 application will cost around USD 50 - USD 75. So if you apply for 4 schools, it will roughly come up to appx. RM 700.

4. WAIT! this is one of the most torturous part where you have sent them everything and you wait for their reply. There is no certainty when they will reply, and in my case, my wait was pretty *tut* long (like half a year long).

5. Let's say they have accepted you. Hurray! Quickly ask them to send over the I-20 together with all your necessary documents. Now you have to pass the visa interview. In order to schedule an interview, you first need to fill up the DS-160 form, pay USD 140 for the visa fees at Standard Chartered bank, pay USD 400 for SEVIS fee, and schedule an interview after all the payment. This is the website for Malaysian if you want to apply for a visa. http://www.ustraveldocs.com/my/

In the meantime, go renew your passport, take a visa photo (white background, 2 X 2 inches), look at the possible visa interview questions and get prepared. My interview was supposed to be 7.40 a.m. I reached at 7.10 a.m and there were already 5 person in front of me. My advice, schedule an appointment early and go early, cause the jam is terrible in KL. Early appointment will make parking hunting easier. Remember to bring pertinent items to the interview (valid passport, visa photograph, I-20, financial documents and any relevant documents depicting strong ties to country). Also, look for a place to stay there. If you are staying with friends or relatives, then all's good and well. If you are like me, going alone, better make sure u have a roof before boarding on the plane.

Be confident during interview. My interview lasted less than a minute, 2 minutes top, and I was told that I passed my interview. YAY!

6. Now that visa is done, book an air ticket. Mine was really expensive. You can go through agent or book straight from the airlines, but going to the US, there must be a transit. More often than not, there will be a change of airlines. Even if there isn't, it's normally cheaper to buy from an agent. But it's good that you check it yourself. Buy early to avoid dissapointment.

7. Shop for relevant items. Winter clothes are really expensive, but nothing can be done. It will be winter when I go there. Advice: need not buy that much, cause it's cheaper and of better quality there.

8. I suppose the last step before boarding the plane would be to meet up with loved ones to say bye bye.

Next year will be my first year in a foreign country, experiencing winter, boarding a plane by myself. It will definitely be a year of many firsts for me. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I am taking the leap of faith.

God Bless~

Nostalgic

27th November 2011

2011 has been a great and adventurous year. I have had many first times this year and it started with my first airplane experience to Bali with my friends. First time out of country with friends also. It was really great, seeing one small part of the world where their culture is so different. People are more laidback and I liked it.

Of course, my second flight was also this year to Terengganu and I went to Lang Tengah. It was also my first time snorkeling there. It was great to see the clear waters and the clear sky at night where there were lots of stars.

Very importantly, this year is my first year stepping full time into the working force. Being a mentor in a child development centre has been an awesomely wonderful experience. It's also great that we have birthday celebrations and boss pays for it. XD. It helps when colleagues are friendly and willing to guide. They are all sweet and they gave me a farewell with a present! manis giler.

Most of the kids are lovely and I will definitely miss all of them dearly. Some gave me presents for Teacher's Day, my birthday and .... on other random days as well. One of them asked me whether I will take the stars which she gave me overseas. :x

Sometimes we adults don't realize how small things matter so much to the young ones.

December is coming. Christmas is coming. The season when I like it's festive mood and listening to it's music. This year will end close to perfect if I pass my visa interview and get ready to go to Texas. Hopefully I would be more equipped in a few years time to help more people.

God Bless~

Of life and death

26th October 2011

Recently there has been many deaths occurring around the world. It makes me think a little how life can be so short and death so quick and sudden.

There was the flood in Thailand which claimed quite a number of life.. the death of Steve Jobs, the 2 years old in China and more recently Simoncelli. All these news are not good news and the deaths of the 3 latter individuals had cause people around the world to react in a certain manner.

Of course everyone around the world was in a rage over the death of the 2 years old China girl who was ran over and nobody seemed to care for her life. People were talking about it from the office, to the restaurant to the online community condemning the act and baffled at how can we humans be so inhumane towards other humans, so young a child at that.

Millions of people were mourning over the death of Steve Jobs as well. People were crying and saying what a lost to the world as someone so great has passed away. I don't have any Apple products and to me, his death did not made that big of an impact to me. But it got me thinking, what constitutes 'greatness'?

I came across this article http://www.dnaindia.com/analysis/column_comment-steve-jobs-wasnt-great-he-wasnt-even-close_1596888 which made me think of what constitutes greatness. Of course, comparing Jobs to Salk is like comparing an apple to orange and is by no means a comparable comparison but it really got me thinking, what constitutes 'greatness' and how do one achieve that 'greatness' to be a legendary figure?

I suppose one trademark of 'greatness' is that the person leaves a footprint behind to the world. both Jobs and Salk managed to leave their footprints behind. The bigger the footprint, the greater the 'greatness' of a person. Question is, how do we leave footprints?

Surely to be able to leave a big footprint, one needs to be quite intelligent to be able to influence most of the people of its' time. So great intellect which affects people is one measure of greatness.

Another measure of greatness would be how one has helped the world for the better. Mother Teresa is 'great' but I am not too sure whether she's intellectually great. Her heart is great and she left a big footprint with her big heart. I suppose a truly 'great' person is someone who is an intellect with a heart.

GREATNESS = INTELLECT + HEART

I want to strive to be someone with both as I can see the danger of having only the mind and not the heart.

Whatever it is, the death of these 3 people are landmark deaths and we hope their deaths can only change the world for the better. Maybe China is going to have a policy change. Maybe more people will strive to have both intellect and heart. And maybe, there will be more safety measures in the future for athletes.

Maybe, all of us should start valuing our lives.

God Bless~

The PERFECT Dream

29th September 2011

Most of us have dreams. We dream about many things. We dream about having nice cars, big houses, a prince charming or beautiful princess, lots of money, having a good and healthy life etc. But how many of us are living our own dreams?

Taken from http://chris-bradley.org/2011/02/02/awesome-houses-inspiration-bedrooms/

When I was young, I dream about going to school to play with my friends.

As I grew up, I dream of becoming a smart student and becoming a scientist, among other occupations such as sailor and astronaut.

Then I realized that I like numbers and finally I chose a course which have to do with humans.

Dreams change and my point is, are we living our own dream? Or someone else's dream? Who puts the idea in our head that we need to have lots of money and have new nicer cars, new bigger houses, the latest handheld technology, lots of money and plenty of booze?

Those dreams are the dreams of the world and if those are your dreams, then you are not living your dream because it can never be satisfied, as the world will always have another dream they are selling.

In advertisements, the advertisers sell this concept of the perfect dream. The family buying a new house suddenly lives harmoniously and happily. The dude who used the perfume suddenly becomes a hottie. Having a new car would make you weave your way effortlessly on the road (although this will never work in KL). We buy into these 'dreams' and once another product comes out, the perfect dream is imperfect and we are fed with more of these 'perfect dreams'. We slave ourselves with long working hours to achieve these dreams in exchange for less time with friends and families.

So, are you living your dream? Or the dream of the world? Is there really a perfect dream? There is, for those who believe in heaven. For those who don't, a perfect dream can be as easy as living with dignity by making the world a better place.

We often forget, that often, the most precious things in life are free.

God Bless~

Consumerism

25th September 2011

Consumerism is chiseling away the life of our planet. While some of us are eating awesome food here, others are dying of hunger.

Taken from http://www.chrismadden.co.uk/eco/consumerism-illustration.html

I got this thought when I was in church today. With the advent of group coupons (groupons), we can get so many exciting deals and the demand for things is on the rise with the so called 'deal'. We can get buffets, exciting adventures but what are the cost of demanding so much?

While we may eat to the brim of our stomach for RM 40 - RM 60 with the deal, we are demanding more food to be put on the dining table in the restaurant. And with about 2000 plus people buying it, you can surely bet there would be a huge demand for animals, plants and seafood to be slaughtered, harvested and fished. And that's just for 1 of the restaurants. Multiply that by the constant deal and the wastage at the end of the day, maybe the picture is not as colourful anymore (for the life of our world at least).

What about the travel industry? With the cheap flights and discounted prices of holidays, there would be an increase of pollution, from airplane, to nature being invaded to more food being provided for tourist.

I for one, admit that I do purchase these deals every once in a while but where are we heading to with such rampant consumerism? Surely the world cannot consistently supply us with our cravings as it is never ending and always on the rise. But if we don't put a stop to it, then sooner or later, our world is going to be so barren that we are gonna starve ourselves. (ok this might be a slippery slope argument. sue me).

Taken from http://sal.am/tag/consumerism/

I guess all of us should take a step back and think a little before purchasing things. The most important thing would be to be contented with our lives and what we have. If we are contented, we wouldn't think that a buffet or a discounted travel package is such a great thing because we are simply happy and satisfied with how things are and need not look for 'extra' things to complement our life. It's pretty simple. Things work in a demand and supply dynamic. When the demand goes down, so does supply.

Taken from http://www.herdarkmatter.com/2008/12/two-thousand-eight.html

On another note, why not use consumerism in a positive manner. Another idea which popped into my head when I was in church is how companies like Groupon can utilize the people's purchasing power. If only they could feature a home (refugee, autism, spastic, old folks etc.) every week, I think it would be of great help to the home. I think Malaysians are a good lot and are willing to help. Just maybe we are caught up with everyday work and the awareness is low as to how to help. By utilizing this vast network that is already established and the ease of donating by just a few clicks, this could be a great power to be leveraged (or at least I think so). Positive consumerism anyone?

God Bless~