There are a few things which i would want to blog about.. but i guess time was of essence last week. so here comes the strings of blog postings :)
Have you ever felt so anxious, that at the end of the day, it seems that all your anxious energy is depleted and you come to a stage where u feel like 'whatever lah'.... couldn't be bothered anymore?.. am i the one at wrong? the person whom cannot seem to put in enough trust? or am i the only one who really cares? :x
felt really anxiously ambivalent and this feeling have been following me throughout the whole of last week. Especially on sat and sun where i have no appetite to eat and sleep. haven't been taking good care of myself cause fell sick last monday.. and got better on thursday. sleeping and eating irregularly, no appetite.. but the strange thing is i wake up super on time.. normally before 9, and i don't know y i can't get back to sleep... good thing volleyball on sunday lighten up my mood a bit. so when i am anxious what i do? invest my energy on something else namely PSY 304.
Due date was yesterday (tuesday), but i am not least worried about it, because i know i can do it. Got everything by friday and therefore start doing things on both sat and sun, until eyes also blur from staring at computer. finished it on sunday, and i can even go drink 'tong sui' on monday night.
complained to a few people regarding my anxious ambivalency. and oh well, it seems that one of the other party have the same worries as mine. XD thanks for listening out to me.. and well i guess it's vice versa. XD another one of my friend whom i complained to ask me how was it.. and i told her
T: don't ask.. cause i don't know
HM: you don't know? wow.. that's not very like of u
T: I know.. but i really don't know how is it going..
i don't like answering idk. but oh well.. i guess HM did say something right. "guess u cannot be in control everytime" :x
i would like to say a big thank you for the people whom have helped in completing it. some people have put in enormous effort, while others have not. i know i always blow u, and i am sorry for that. i guess that person doesn't really like me now.. idk.
the complete version is awesome i would say. the thing which got me depress for about a week (literally) came out not bad at all.. and i am glad :)
God Bless~
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Ms. Winnee and Evie
March 10, 2010
Today, i had another dream. And in the dream, there is Ms. Winnee. =.=;
I remembered that i was outdoor, looking people playing volleyball, and it was something like outside of the houses, on the roadside.
the people playing weren't awesome posem players, and i was just looking at them playing. then suddenly out of nowhere, Ms. Winnee came out from the house saying that she wants to play volleyball.. hahaha.. and the way she asked, was like a little girl, wanting to join in (with a little jumping and cheery mood) :x
then she joined, and she played, and she fell on the ground. but not serious fall la, only like scratch her palm.. then i don't remember anything anymore...
another dream, with evie in it. I actually didn't remember dreaming about her, until she msn-ed my today. then only it triggered the memory..
i remember that it was some occasion (couldn't remember what occasion though) and as a present, she gave me a letter. a letter with histories in it. XD really funny.. and that's all i remembered.
woke up to the thought of "tomorrow running thesis. i still haven't prepared my materials yet.. GG.COM!!!'
God Bless~
Today, i had another dream. And in the dream, there is Ms. Winnee. =.=;
I remembered that i was outdoor, looking people playing volleyball, and it was something like outside of the houses, on the roadside.
the people playing weren't awesome posem players, and i was just looking at them playing. then suddenly out of nowhere, Ms. Winnee came out from the house saying that she wants to play volleyball.. hahaha.. and the way she asked, was like a little girl, wanting to join in (with a little jumping and cheery mood) :x
then she joined, and she played, and she fell on the ground. but not serious fall la, only like scratch her palm.. then i don't remember anything anymore...
another dream, with evie in it. I actually didn't remember dreaming about her, until she msn-ed my today. then only it triggered the memory..
i remember that it was some occasion (couldn't remember what occasion though) and as a present, she gave me a letter. a letter with histories in it. XD really funny.. and that's all i remembered.
woke up to the thought of "tomorrow running thesis. i still haven't prepared my materials yet.. GG.COM!!!'
God Bless~
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Nice Dream
This morning i had a nice dream. And it has got to do with PSY 317. Or at least that's what the dream is about.
I remembered me sitting in a cafe with Kang Kang and Cha Loo. Kang Kang said that he has finished editing our movie, which i was of course delighted, and he brought a laptop together to show us the final product. When played, this was what i remembered
The camera is focusing on a pile of sugar. And the pile of sugar is on top of a piece of tissue paper. And that tissue paper was on top of a car's dashboard. The camera was inside of a moving car, and the sugar was a bit brownish.
Then someone spoke up, speaking in cantonese saying "don't take so much sugar ar.. nah, u like your drinks to be sweet. i have added enough sugar for u." the person who is speaking, is sitting beside the driver, and her face couldn't be seen. the drink that she was making is coffee, and that is why the sugar (which is white) is a little brownish, the spoon, which was in the coffee was used to scoop us some sugar to be placed inside the coffee.
all the while, the camera is in the backseat, focusing only on the sugar, and then on the hand movement of the person taking the sugar. after the drinks are done, she passed it to the driver. which the driver didn't drink because of some accident.
well that's the important thing la. in my dream, i thought to myself, whoah.. the way the story was told was pretty good. The sound was loud and clear, and the video was awesomely vivid. and i was very happy with the outcome of the movie.
when i woke up, i knew that i dreamt something good, and managed to trace back my dream before it decays. XD
now i am wondering how the actual movie will turn out. :x
God Bless~
I remembered me sitting in a cafe with Kang Kang and Cha Loo. Kang Kang said that he has finished editing our movie, which i was of course delighted, and he brought a laptop together to show us the final product. When played, this was what i remembered
The camera is focusing on a pile of sugar. And the pile of sugar is on top of a piece of tissue paper. And that tissue paper was on top of a car's dashboard. The camera was inside of a moving car, and the sugar was a bit brownish.
Then someone spoke up, speaking in cantonese saying "don't take so much sugar ar.. nah, u like your drinks to be sweet. i have added enough sugar for u." the person who is speaking, is sitting beside the driver, and her face couldn't be seen. the drink that she was making is coffee, and that is why the sugar (which is white) is a little brownish, the spoon, which was in the coffee was used to scoop us some sugar to be placed inside the coffee.
all the while, the camera is in the backseat, focusing only on the sugar, and then on the hand movement of the person taking the sugar. after the drinks are done, she passed it to the driver. which the driver didn't drink because of some accident.
well that's the important thing la. in my dream, i thought to myself, whoah.. the way the story was told was pretty good. The sound was loud and clear, and the video was awesomely vivid. and i was very happy with the outcome of the movie.
when i woke up, i knew that i dreamt something good, and managed to trace back my dream before it decays. XD
now i am wondering how the actual movie will turn out. :x
God Bless~
Bad Dream
5th March 2010
This morning had a bad dream. What i remembered is that i was inside a van, and i was eating raw processed fish meat. :x this surely comes from the steamboat yesterday night cause i remember i was eating fish noodles in the dream. and it's uncooked. errgghh.. and i was eating a whole box of it.. uwekk.. it doesn't taste bad, but it tasted funny.. that's how vivid the dream is..
then somehow i got sick of eating it, and went down the van.. i think.. then walked down the alley, it was at night and dark. my sister walked the other way.. different from where i walked.. and then after a while, i catch up to her, and i saw suspicious people.. i got near to her and asked her to run..
and we ran.. but there are more of them coming out from behind the dustbins to catch us.. and i awake from the dream shouting. :x my dad asked me 'shout what?' hahaha..
God Bless~
This morning had a bad dream. What i remembered is that i was inside a van, and i was eating raw processed fish meat. :x this surely comes from the steamboat yesterday night cause i remember i was eating fish noodles in the dream. and it's uncooked. errgghh.. and i was eating a whole box of it.. uwekk.. it doesn't taste bad, but it tasted funny.. that's how vivid the dream is..
then somehow i got sick of eating it, and went down the van.. i think.. then walked down the alley, it was at night and dark. my sister walked the other way.. different from where i walked.. and then after a while, i catch up to her, and i saw suspicious people.. i got near to her and asked her to run..
and we ran.. but there are more of them coming out from behind the dustbins to catch us.. and i awake from the dream shouting. :x my dad asked me 'shout what?' hahaha..
God Bless~
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Ah Bit's theory of Self Love
February 23, 2010
Today, we had Cognitive Psychology class from 12 till 2. I had tutorial class before that, so I came pretty early to college for it. And from 2 till 4.30, i had to stayback cause i playing volleyball.
Therefore, i already made arrangement to go lunch with one of my friends. She initially said ok, but then ffk me later. lol.. so, instead of going out with the planned person, i had lunch together with Suk Pei and Ah Bit. And the ffk is a blessing in disguise because the conversation we had over lunch was oh-so-deep-and-awesome
we started the oh-so-deep-and-awesome conversation by talking first about relationships. Then it delves into our ideology of love and how we view relationships. For me, my ideology of a relationship is that once coupled up, i would try and make it longterm, or at least in the hope of having a long term relationship, and if possible, ultimately marriage. My goal therefore is longterm commitment
Ah Bit's ideology however is in stark contrast to mine. Her ideology of love is that in a relationship, she doesn't emphasize on long term commitment as much. The ultimate goal, for now at least, is happiness while in the relationship.
Suk Pei's ideology is more oriented towards mine, although probably less extreme. and we debated over this issue of how having different goals will lead to different outcomes. I said that by not having a goal, which is long term commitment, the relationship won't last. At the very least, we should be hopeful that the relationship will last for having hope is a kind of blessing. by not having this goal, it seems to me that the relationship is going nowhere, and just floating around.
She then said that there is no guarantee in relationships (which i agree, cause nothing in life is guaranteed) and not putting hope in the relationship would be good so as not to get hurt too much. as long as both parties are happy in the relationship, it's good enough.
we debated for pretty long actually and it's really amusing how deep our conversation goes. It's the first time me having such deep conversation with Bit, and i am very suprised about her ideology actually. well at least now i know. hahaha.
then we talked about pretty much of other things and somehow i said that i read before that people are actually looking for their 'shadow' in Jung-ian's term. simply put, people find opposites of themselves in a relationship, does not only apply to life partners, but also to friends.
then ah bit postulated her theory, which i call Ah Bit's theory of Self Love XD
She said that people love themselves the most. This is the premise of the whole theory. And therefore, when finding for partner, they find people who are probably similar to themselves (whether similar in terms of 'shadow' or not shadow). She then argued that people get angry and dissapointed because people loves themselves. Why do people get angry and dissapointed? Because the other party did not met with our own expectations. Because the other party did not do good enough. And when they don't do good enough, we are angry because we would want it to be done according to our expectations, because we love ourselves too much.
if you think about it, it does make sense. humans generally want to experience positive emotions as compared to negative emotions. There would be very little people who would want to experience anger and dissapointment if given a choice to choose. so therefore, there should be another greater source which involuntary triggers this negative emotions in us, and that would probably the love for ourselves.
plausible theory? i think pretty much. but it still doesn't explain why people would sacrifice their lives for love ones i suppose. In this sense, the love for other transcends our love for our own life. so probably not all humans loves themselves most. maybe a whole lot do love themselves most, but there are people who would love others more than themselves. nevertheless, a very intriguing theory XD
Nice chat nice chat..
God Bless~
Today, we had Cognitive Psychology class from 12 till 2. I had tutorial class before that, so I came pretty early to college for it. And from 2 till 4.30, i had to stayback cause i playing volleyball.
Therefore, i already made arrangement to go lunch with one of my friends. She initially said ok, but then ffk me later. lol.. so, instead of going out with the planned person, i had lunch together with Suk Pei and Ah Bit. And the ffk is a blessing in disguise because the conversation we had over lunch was oh-so-deep-and-awesome
we started the oh-so-deep-and-awesome conversation by talking first about relationships. Then it delves into our ideology of love and how we view relationships. For me, my ideology of a relationship is that once coupled up, i would try and make it longterm, or at least in the hope of having a long term relationship, and if possible, ultimately marriage. My goal therefore is longterm commitment
Ah Bit's ideology however is in stark contrast to mine. Her ideology of love is that in a relationship, she doesn't emphasize on long term commitment as much. The ultimate goal, for now at least, is happiness while in the relationship.
Suk Pei's ideology is more oriented towards mine, although probably less extreme. and we debated over this issue of how having different goals will lead to different outcomes. I said that by not having a goal, which is long term commitment, the relationship won't last. At the very least, we should be hopeful that the relationship will last for having hope is a kind of blessing. by not having this goal, it seems to me that the relationship is going nowhere, and just floating around.
She then said that there is no guarantee in relationships (which i agree, cause nothing in life is guaranteed) and not putting hope in the relationship would be good so as not to get hurt too much. as long as both parties are happy in the relationship, it's good enough.
we debated for pretty long actually and it's really amusing how deep our conversation goes. It's the first time me having such deep conversation with Bit, and i am very suprised about her ideology actually. well at least now i know. hahaha.
then we talked about pretty much of other things and somehow i said that i read before that people are actually looking for their 'shadow' in Jung-ian's term. simply put, people find opposites of themselves in a relationship, does not only apply to life partners, but also to friends.
then ah bit postulated her theory, which i call Ah Bit's theory of Self Love XD
She said that people love themselves the most. This is the premise of the whole theory. And therefore, when finding for partner, they find people who are probably similar to themselves (whether similar in terms of 'shadow' or not shadow). She then argued that people get angry and dissapointed because people loves themselves. Why do people get angry and dissapointed? Because the other party did not met with our own expectations. Because the other party did not do good enough. And when they don't do good enough, we are angry because we would want it to be done according to our expectations, because we love ourselves too much.
if you think about it, it does make sense. humans generally want to experience positive emotions as compared to negative emotions. There would be very little people who would want to experience anger and dissapointment if given a choice to choose. so therefore, there should be another greater source which involuntary triggers this negative emotions in us, and that would probably the love for ourselves.
plausible theory? i think pretty much. but it still doesn't explain why people would sacrifice their lives for love ones i suppose. In this sense, the love for other transcends our love for our own life. so probably not all humans loves themselves most. maybe a whole lot do love themselves most, but there are people who would love others more than themselves. nevertheless, a very intriguing theory XD
Nice chat nice chat..
God Bless~
Thursday, February 25, 2010
CNY part 5
My CNY celebration doesn't seem to stop does it? XD
February 20th, 2010
Went to visit my godparents today. And boy, Florence have changed a lot. :X wouldn't recognize her on the street. hahahaha..
so went there, talk talk talk, talk about studies, work, politics, job prospects etc. etc. after about an hour of talking, went home. and i thought we were going to have lunch with them.. lol. Fourth day travelling on Federal Highway. zzzz.. me and Federal friend friend during CNY whey.. lol
so came home, and i then went to Suet Lai's house to bai nian. actually go there gamble only la. XD XD. so reached her house, and then gamble for a while. Tristan, Soon, Shawn, Wai Shin, Kei Kei, Mun Kiat and Foo was there.
Suet's luck wasn't good i suppose. lol.. she always lose. XD then after a while, went for lunch. Her mum prepared lunch for us and asked us to finish the dishes, cause they going out for dinner. And we did finish most of the dishes. Then only we know that the parents and the uncle haven't eaten lunch yet. =.=; gg.com lol.. but too late ady.. XD paiseh
then gamble again.. muahaha.. Suet's dad came down and joined us, and lose also.. ngek ngek. last year won our money.. this year pay back. muahahaha.. looks like the shouting of HUAT AH in FB worked a little la eh? except for Soon. XD
God Bless~
February 20th, 2010
Went to visit my godparents today. And boy, Florence have changed a lot. :X wouldn't recognize her on the street. hahahaha..
so went there, talk talk talk, talk about studies, work, politics, job prospects etc. etc. after about an hour of talking, went home. and i thought we were going to have lunch with them.. lol. Fourth day travelling on Federal Highway. zzzz.. me and Federal friend friend during CNY whey.. lol
so came home, and i then went to Suet Lai's house to bai nian. actually go there gamble only la. XD XD. so reached her house, and then gamble for a while. Tristan, Soon, Shawn, Wai Shin, Kei Kei, Mun Kiat and Foo was there.
Suet's luck wasn't good i suppose. lol.. she always lose. XD then after a while, went for lunch. Her mum prepared lunch for us and asked us to finish the dishes, cause they going out for dinner. And we did finish most of the dishes. Then only we know that the parents and the uncle haven't eaten lunch yet. =.=; gg.com lol.. but too late ady.. XD paiseh
then gamble again.. muahaha.. Suet's dad came down and joined us, and lose also.. ngek ngek. last year won our money.. this year pay back. muahahaha.. looks like the shouting of HUAT AH in FB worked a little la eh? except for Soon. XD
God Bless~
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
CNY part 4
Friday, February 19th, 2010
Went out with my college gang. Tropicana City was the destination for Valentines Day, and i drove there by myself. Reached there, and then met up with Jian and Jia Leng, and waited for others to come.
So came, and then went in to watch the movie. The movie was just a-owhkay, not really awesome also. But still got me comtemplating on a few stuffs la :) then after movie, we went to have dinner at central point. the dinner was owhkay only as well. hahaha.. but no tax, and drink tea was awesome i suppose ^^
Jia Leng's spaghetti
Jian's 1?
I think lam's 1. lol
And this is mine :D
after dinner, we went to Evie's house, and gambled. jeng jeng jeng.. the point of the whole outing. XD play play, win lose.. and finally lost money. Evie menang whey. roar! and finally we went back at 11. drove back home, around 11.40 already. thank God for the safe journey :)
Third day travelling on Federal highway. lol
God Bless~
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