Musings

Friday 25th March

Tomorrow I will be taking my TOEFL. On the 5th of April, my GRE. That's 2 exams before my convo. Hopefully i pass with some colours, if not flying colours. If not, I will cry during convo itself.

As you all know (or maybe don't know), I plan to study in the US and in order to do that, i need to sit for both of the test. GRE's question is making me mad and crazy at the same time. It's a very smart test if you ask me. really need more practice..

For the past few days, I have been thinking about all the possibilities and I have come with terms on the matter. The main reason was of course financial. If got enough money, won't be scratching head. And I think of all the students with bright mind and yet are not given the chance to pursue their dreams due to economic constraints. What a waste isn't it?

While I was hiding in my cave thinking and emoing about stuff, Japan's citizen is battling the cold climate with little food and water and possible radiation leak. Whereas there's was between people who support and opposes Gaddafi.

Who am I kidding right? These are the real problem people are facing. And I am sulking because of the possibility of not going overseas for studies? I should be grateful I have a home to stay, food to eat, cloths to wear, peaceful country, nice weather with no radiation exposure. With that, my perspective is in order. It might be true that I might not be able to pursue my studies overseas. If that's the case, such is life. Study in Malaysia only loh. Should not be complaining so much. God has His plan for me.

And He has plan for you too~

God Bless~

Dream and Life

March 18th, 2011

These few days, I have been in a great dilemma for I know not what to do. At least now some progress is in place and I will eat, sleep dream about it so that it doesn't go to waste.

All of us dream. About wanting a nice family, nice girl/boyfriend, nice job, nice house, nice career etc. The question is, how many of us actually know what we really want in life and chase after it? To pursue what we want to do in life is perhaps the biggest dream all of us have.

Of course, as with everything, there are obstacles. The biggest obstacle to living a fulfilling life is don't know what to do with life, because when you know not what you want to do, you simply don't know how to achieve it. Even when one knows what to do, there are always obstacles such as financial, family responsibility, etc. and honestly speaking, I don't know which is better. To not know of one's purpose in life, or to know and yet not able to pursue it.

I guess I know of my dream and in trying to fulfill it, depletes my energy constantly. Searching for a postgrad course is a pain in the ass. Searching for a postgrad course and at the same time considering the scholarship possibility and fees is a pain in the ass and in the brain.

I can so dream of myself living outside of Malaysia. Living in a foreign country with the different environment. I don't know whether I would like it, but many years down the road, I am sure it will be a treasured memory. At the same time, I am worried about living outside of my comfort zone. What will happen to me without my favorite food (zhap fan)? XD

My dreams will surely be fulfilled, be it in Malaysia or overseas. Cuma kalau kat Malaysia, kurang glamor-LAH.

God Bless~

Too much food?

Sunday 6th March 2011

Today I read an interesting article about the amount of food that the world needs and sadly about it's disparity. One of the world's concern is 'With the increasing number of people, will the earth manage to produce as much food to feed it's people, especially since global warming is causing a stir in crops production?'

It seems that the world is growing enough, actually more than enough for everybody to have a satisfying meal everyday even when global warming is lessening the crop production.

If crops yielding are more than what people can eat, it means supply is more than demand, which means, food prices should be low, which means, even the poor should be able to buy food and not die of starvation.

The question then is, why do so many people still die of hunger?

The main reason is of course: People

1) Rich people are on the lookout for money. They buy land, and scoot away the poor farmers (often with the permission of government, which is sad) and plant whatever they want to plant which will bring them money. Even when they plant food, the food is not meant to feed the own poor people, but rather sold outside at a higher price. As said, 'whatever which will bring them money'

2) The price of food is not decreasing but increasing even when supply exceeds demand because of lobbying by these rich people. So poor people can't afford food and starve till death.

3) A whole lot of the world's crop that can be used to feed human are used to feed animals instead. It takes 7kg of crops to produce 1 kg of meat (or so the newspaper states). That means, people are eating so much meat that so much crop is being used to feed animals so that we can eat them. If we were to eat less meat, more crops could be used to feed humans.

4) A lot of corn are being used as fuel rather than feeding people. So there you go, feeding the machine, but not people. Why? Because it makes more economic sense.

What is done by certain people, made other people suffer all the more. So what can be done? Awareness is one. Another thing would be to eat less meat. I guess I would try to eat less meat.

Of course, if the poor gets education, they would earn enough to buy food and not starve to death, but this would need measures from government. Let's pray for the best

Oh, before signing off, there is a phrase which caught my attention while reading the newspapers. Remember it was said that people worry that the world's population would outgrow the availability of food? One person commented saying

"Why can't the heaving masses of black, brown and yellow-skinned peoples have fewer babies and eat less so that more corn can be burnt as biofuel in big 4WDs or to feed cows to produce fillet mignon steaks?"

This is of course a very bad remark at so many levels, but let's take a look at why such a comment would come to be.

It’s no coincidence, wrote Monbiot, that most of those obsessed that population growth is a “problem” are post-reproductive wealthy white men – “It’s about the only environmental issue for which they can’t be blamed"

While the developed countries are fighting against obesity, third world countries are fighting to stay alive.

God Bless~

Reference:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2011/3/6/lifefocus/8176527&sec=lifefocus

Repressed emotions?

One of the characteristics of dreams is amplification of emotions and that's really true as I had a sweet lovely dream that made me feel awful after waking up.

I do not know how to put it in words just yet, but the feelings is so special it is as if my whole life is at ease when I felt that emotion. It was as if God's hand was touching me. It was as if I have been searching for this one thing my whole life.

This emotion made me feel treasured. It was about to come complete, but it didn't happen in the dream.

Jian said that between the 3 of us, my life was the most 'stormless' because I am single. Have I been repressing my feelings for you?

God Bless~