Yesterday when I was at mass, the priest preached about how Catholics should devout more time to prayer. And I agree. I do not pray enough I think, and hopefully with enough prayer, I get to be at peace with myself and with the world, knowing that God will take care of us.
There is something which intrigued me though about his homily yesterday. He mentioned that there was a Catholic girl who messaged him telling him that she is very in love with this guy who is a non-Catholic and is considering marriage (something along that line). The priest said "Are you crazy?" (well that was the exact phrased he used in his homily, not sure whether he really did say that to the girl). He mentioned that one can be in love with another person, but to consider marriage, that's really dumb. He asked why would we want to make our soul suffer through these difficulty of living with another non Catholic. He did say however that conversion is possible, but the chances are slim. There are many Catholic young people, why do we need to choose someone outside the church.
That got me thinking. And let me tell you upfront, I do not agree completely with his opinions. Marriage between people of different religion is tough, mostly due to differences in value. But are there differences in value within the Catholic church? Of course there is. Does it mean one is less Catholic than another if opinions differ? I don't think so. Are there evil people in the Catholic chuch? Sure thing. Are there good people with good values outside of the Catholic church? Plenty. That means that a marriage between people of different religion or same religion does not guarantee that it will be an easy or rough marriage. If you manage to find people whom you are compatible with, who has the same values, then great. It doesn't mean that if you find a person within the same religion, it's all going to be smooth going. It also doesn't indicate that if you find someone outside of the same religion, life is going to be terrible. There is no clear cut formula to happy marriage (how convenient it would be if there is right?)
So now that the point is made, what makes marriage between people of different religion difficult? I think it has to do with the family as a unit, especially when there are children involved. If one is Catholic and another is not, then when children comes along, which religion will they subscribe to? If both parents are pious in their own religion, then each one might say that the children should follow their own religion, which would create trouble because now both partners are fighting.
If one parent is religious, another is not, the pious parent might want the children to follow his/her religion, and the less pious one might say wait till the child grow to make a decision. This is also difficult because the pious parent would want the kid to grow up based on faith system, whereas the other parent does not understand the importance of it.
This is where things get tricky for there is no easy solution. For pious parents, the argument might lead to "my God is greater than your God" or "my religion is better than your religion". Maybe one may not say that out loud, but there's meaning behind wanting the child to follow one's religious beliefs. For partners where one is religious and another is not, the non religious parent might argue that "Do you think we are unable to raise our kids good enough?" argument. And as I said, there is no easy way out because both parents have different beliefs about life and death, moral values and importance of living.
The important thing for couples before they get married, is to iron out all these possible difficulties, even if they are from the same religion. This would be the best way to live harmoniously. If I do get married, I would definitely want my children to grow up as Catholics. That's because a big part of who I am today comes from my Catholic upbringing. I think I am a moderately decent guy, and I am not saying that there are no decent guys out there, but I am, and would want to raise my kids the way I know how, and one part of it is the church. Differences in values should be ironed out, regardless of religion.
I should really pray more.
God Bless~
No comments:
Post a Comment