Insight?

Alex's Wedding

2012-01-13T20:30:00.000-08:00

7th January 2012

It was the day of Alex's wedding. He's my cousin btw. ;D My family went down to Melaka for the wedding and it started at the church where they exchanged vows.

When they reached home, it's the tea ceremony time.

Of course, there was the dinner at night. How could there be no dinner right where everyone Yum Seng.

After dinner, I thought that's all but no... I was asked by my cousin to go clubbing. Apparently, my other cousins told him that if he didn't go, they wouldn't attend his wedding when it comes. XD emotional blackmail. hahaha.. First time to a club.

During this wedding, I saw a lot of my kiddy cousins growing older and i felt that I am growing older too. Now I kinda understand what the older people meant when they frequently said 'wah, you changed already'.

God Bless Alex and Yu Kar

God Bless~

Grueling process to US

2011-12-29T21:45:00.000-08:00

30th Dec 2011

Throughout this whole year, my one aim was to go to UNT for Masters and now that I am going, I am thinking of writing down a short (hopefully) description of how to get to the US.

1. After you have an idea where to go and what to study, you would need to see the requirement of the university for the course you are wanting to go. Most of the course for Masters in the US would require you to pass a test, either the GRE (most of the courses), GMAT (business i think) or some other test.

Mine was the GRE and there's a general GRE paper and specific GRE paper. You can take the specific ones to 'show off' your knowledge on a particular field, but it's not necessary. Of course, it would cost more also if u take the specific paper, but you MUST take the general paper.

GRE is tough, and I once heard it's 'the mother of all test'. It's also expensive (appx. RM 560). If you fail, you have to pay the money again, so better don't fail. There are books to guide you through the examination and it's best to study about at least half a year. I rushed through it. I think I studies like.. 2 - 3 months. Good thing I passed.

2. Besides the GRE, another test that international students need to take would be an English proficiency test. You can take either TOEFL or IELTS. I took TOEFL and it wasn't that tough. Just be on your toes as it's also pretty expensive (appx. RM 480)

3. If let's say you passed both the test, then YAY! I suppose the university will require some recommendation letters, a completed application forms, registration fees, writing sample etc. Check for the requirements and go get all of those done. Don't get frustrated or discouraged when your lecturers don't reply to your email about the recommendation letter. BUG THEM! :p

For institutions in Texas (I don't know about other states), you can actually send applications online on applytexas.org. It's really cool in a sense that you can complete application and send to many schools at once, and you can pay through credit card online too. 1 application will cost around USD 50 - USD 75. So if you apply for 4 schools, it will roughly come up to appx. RM 700.

4. WAIT! this is one of the most torturous part where you have sent them everything and you wait for their reply. There is no certainty when they will reply, and in my case, my wait was pretty *tut* long (like half a year long).

5. Let's say they have accepted you. Hurray! Quickly ask them to send over the I-20 together with all your necessary documents. Now you have to pass the visa interview. In order to schedule an interview, you first need to fill up the DS-160 form, pay USD 140 for the visa fees at Standard Chartered bank, pay USD 400 for SEVIS fee, and schedule an interview after all the payment. This is the website for Malaysian if you want to apply for a visa. http://www.ustraveldocs.com/my/

In the meantime, go renew your passport, take a visa photo (white background, 2 X 2 inches), look at the possible visa interview questions and get prepared. My interview was supposed to be 7.40 a.m. I reached at 7.10 a.m and there were already 5 person in front of me. My advice, schedule an appointment early and go early, cause the jam is terrible in KL. Early appointment will make parking hunting easier. Remember to bring pertinent items to the interview (valid passport, visa photograph, I-20, financial documents and any relevant documents depicting strong ties to country). Also, look for a place to stay there. If you are staying with friends or relatives, then all's good and well. If you are like me, going alone, better make sure u have a roof before boarding on the plane.

Be confident during interview. My interview lasted less than a minute, 2 minutes top, and I was told that I passed my interview. YAY!

6. Now that visa is done, book an air ticket. Mine was really expensive. You can go through agent or book straight from the airlines, but going to the US, there must be a transit. More often than not, there will be a change of airlines. Even if there isn't, it's normally cheaper to buy from an agent. But it's good that you check it yourself. Buy early to avoid dissapointment.

7. Shop for relevant items. Winter clothes are really expensive, but nothing can be done. It will be winter when I go there. Advice: need not buy that much, cause it's cheaper and of better quality there.

8. I suppose the last step before boarding the plane would be to meet up with loved ones to say bye bye.

Next year will be my first year in a foreign country, experiencing winter, boarding a plane by myself. It will definitely be a year of many firsts for me. It's a little scary thinking about it, but I am taking the leap of faith.

God Bless~

Nostalgic

2011-11-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

27th November 2011

2011 has been a great and adventurous year. I have had many first times this year and it started with my first airplane experience to Bali with my friends. First time out of country with friends also. It was really great, seeing one small part of the world where their culture is so different. People are more laidback and I liked it.

Of course, my second flight was also this year to Terengganu and I went to Lang Tengah. It was also my first time snorkeling there. It was great to see the clear waters and the clear sky at night where there were lots of stars.

Very importantly, this year is my first year stepping full time into the working force. Being a mentor in a child development centre has been an awesomely wonderful experience. It's also great that we have birthday celebrations and boss pays for it. XD. It helps when colleagues are friendly and willing to guide. They are all sweet and they gave me a farewell with a present! manis giler.

Most of the kids are lovely and I will definitely miss all of them dearly. Some gave me presents for Teacher's Day, my birthday and .... on other random days as well. One of them asked me whether I will take the stars which she gave me overseas. :x

Sometimes we adults don't realize how small things matter so much to the young ones.

December is coming. Christmas is coming. The season when I like it's festive mood and listening to it's music. This year will end close to perfect if I pass my visa interview and get ready to go to Texas. Hopefully I would be more equipped in a few years time to help more people.

God Bless~

Of life and death

2011-10-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

26th October 2011

Recently there has been many deaths occurring around the world. It makes me think a little how life can be so short and death so quick and sudden.

There was the flood in Thailand which claimed quite a number of life.. the death of Steve Jobs, the 2 years old in China and more recently Simoncelli. All these news are not good news and the deaths of the 3 latter individuals had cause people around the world to react in a certain manner.

Of course everyone around the world was in a rage over the death of the 2 years old China girl who was ran over and nobody seemed to care for her life. People were talking about it from the office, to the restaurant to the online community condemning the act and baffled at how can we humans be so inhumane towards other humans, so young a child at that.

Millions of people were mourning over the death of Steve Jobs as well. People were crying and saying what a lost to the world as someone so great has passed away. I don't have any Apple products and to me, his death did not made that big of an impact to me. But it got me thinking, what constitutes 'greatness'?

I came across this article http://www.dnaindia.com/analysis/column_comment-steve-jobs-wasnt-great-he-wasnt-even-close_1596888 which made me think of what constitutes greatness. Of course, comparing Jobs to Salk is like comparing an apple to orange and is by no means a comparable comparison but it really got me thinking, what constitutes 'greatness' and how do one achieve that 'greatness' to be a legendary figure?

I suppose one trademark of 'greatness' is that the person leaves a footprint behind to the world. both Jobs and Salk managed to leave their footprints behind. The bigger the footprint, the greater the 'greatness' of a person. Question is, how do we leave footprints?

Surely to be able to leave a big footprint, one needs to be quite intelligent to be able to influence most of the people of its' time. So great intellect which affects people is one measure of greatness.

Another measure of greatness would be how one has helped the world for the better. Mother Teresa is 'great' but I am not too sure whether she's intellectually great. Her heart is great and she left a big footprint with her big heart. I suppose a truly 'great' person is someone who is an intellect with a heart.

GREATNESS = INTELLECT + HEART

I want to strive to be someone with both as I can see the danger of having only the mind and not the heart.

Whatever it is, the death of these 3 people are landmark deaths and we hope their deaths can only change the world for the better. Maybe China is going to have a policy change. Maybe more people will strive to have both intellect and heart. And maybe, there will be more safety measures in the future for athletes.

Maybe, all of us should start valuing our lives.

God Bless~

The PERFECT Dream

2011-09-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

29th September 2011

Most of us have dreams. We dream about many things. We dream about having nice cars, big houses, a prince charming or beautiful princess, lots of money, having a good and healthy life etc. But how many of us are living our own dreams?

Taken from http://chris-bradley.org/2011/02/02/awesome-houses-inspiration-bedrooms/

When I was young, I dream about going to school to play with my friends.

As I grew up, I dream of becoming a smart student and becoming a scientist, among other occupations such as sailor and astronaut.

Then I realized that I like numbers and finally I chose a course which have to do with humans.

Dreams change and my point is, are we living our own dream? Or someone else's dream? Who puts the idea in our head that we need to have lots of money and have new nicer cars, new bigger houses, the latest handheld technology, lots of money and plenty of booze?

Those dreams are the dreams of the world and if those are your dreams, then you are not living your dream because it can never be satisfied, as the world will always have another dream they are selling.

In advertisements, the advertisers sell this concept of the perfect dream. The family buying a new house suddenly lives harmoniously and happily. The dude who used the perfume suddenly becomes a hottie. Having a new car would make you weave your way effortlessly on the road (although this will never work in KL). We buy into these 'dreams' and once another product comes out, the perfect dream is imperfect and we are fed with more of these 'perfect dreams'. We slave ourselves with long working hours to achieve these dreams in exchange for less time with friends and families.

So, are you living your dream? Or the dream of the world? Is there really a perfect dream? There is, for those who believe in heaven. For those who don't, a perfect dream can be as easy as living with dignity by making the world a better place.

We often forget, that often, the most precious things in life are free.

God Bless~

Consumerism

2011-09-24T09:31:00.000-07:00

25th September 2011

Consumerism is chiseling away the life of our planet. While some of us are eating awesome food here, others are dying of hunger.

Taken from http://www.chrismadden.co.uk/eco/consumerism-illustration.html

I got this thought when I was in church today. With the advent of group coupons (groupons), we can get so many exciting deals and the demand for things is on the rise with the so called 'deal'. We can get buffets, exciting adventures but what are the cost of demanding so much?

While we may eat to the brim of our stomach for RM 40 - RM 60 with the deal, we are demanding more food to be put on the dining table in the restaurant. And with about 2000 plus people buying it, you can surely bet there would be a huge demand for animals, plants and seafood to be slaughtered, harvested and fished. And that's just for 1 of the restaurants. Multiply that by the constant deal and the wastage at the end of the day, maybe the picture is not as colourful anymore (for the life of our world at least).

What about the travel industry? With the cheap flights and discounted prices of holidays, there would be an increase of pollution, from airplane, to nature being invaded to more food being provided for tourist.

I for one, admit that I do purchase these deals every once in a while but where are we heading to with such rampant consumerism? Surely the world cannot consistently supply us with our cravings as it is never ending and always on the rise. But if we don't put a stop to it, then sooner or later, our world is going to be so barren that we are gonna starve ourselves. (ok this might be a slippery slope argument. sue me).

Taken from http://sal.am/tag/consumerism/

I guess all of us should take a step back and think a little before purchasing things. The most important thing would be to be contented with our lives and what we have. If we are contented, we wouldn't think that a buffet or a discounted travel package is such a great thing because we are simply happy and satisfied with how things are and need not look for 'extra' things to complement our life. It's pretty simple. Things work in a demand and supply dynamic. When the demand goes down, so does supply.

Taken from http://www.herdarkmatter.com/2008/12/two-thousand-eight.html

On another note, why not use consumerism in a positive manner. Another idea which popped into my head when I was in church is how companies like Groupon can utilize the people's purchasing power. If only they could feature a home (refugee, autism, spastic, old folks etc.) every week, I think it would be of great help to the home. I think Malaysians are a good lot and are willing to help. Just maybe we are caught up with everyday work and the awareness is low as to how to help. By utilizing this vast network that is already established and the ease of donating by just a few clicks, this could be a great power to be leveraged (or at least I think so). Positive consumerism anyone?

God Bless~

Years gone by

2011-09-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

10th September 2011

I am feeling nostalgic and contemplative now. A feeling which I have not felt for quite some time due to my busyness I suppose. Was it because of the weather or was it because of the departure? Looking back at the years gone by, I would proudly say I love my life and I am very blessed even till this day for having good family and friends by my side.

So many memories made and cherished. Were there regrets? Yes, but I can count them with my fingers. If I could turn back time, I might not make the same mistakes, but oh well, such things made me realize what I shouldn't do in the future.

Today I sent one of my friends at the airport. My first time sending anyone away. Will there be more to come? I kinda like airports.

My work is pretty ok. Kids in kepong are not that bad. I got a present from one of my students already in my first week there. But where is my life bringing me to? Or where am I bringing my life to? What does future holds for me?

Sometimes I feel that life is so futile. What's the purpose of having a nice life? It is going to end one day. My thinking could be a little weird since I think not many 23 years old thinks like me. I think most of them would be roaring to go, wanting to earn money or to change the world. Am I grounded in reality, or am I a pessimist?

God Bless~

Lang Tengah Day 2

2011-08-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

So this is the second day of our Lang Tengah trip.

We woke up and went for jungle trekking. The receptionist said that her mum (or aunt I am not sure) can go up and down using slippers. I believed her and wore slippers. Dang smart.. it's not a good idea. Kena tipu already.

So up we went and these were some of the pictures which we took along the way.

This was supposed to be the peak

The other side of the island

The strong man who 'lifted' both of us

How dare you did that to us. Revenge! Shou-ru-ken

After that, we went back to our lodging place and had lunch and then we went for snorkeling. This time, we almost missed the boat and we had an amazing race part 2 to chase after the boat before it departs. What an exciting trip we had. Chase after plane and now boat. XD

We came back from snorkeling and did some other things. Of course. We will always walk the beach because it's so lovely.

We even went star gazing at night. The stars shone so brightly and it can be seen so clearly. Very nice experience :D

God Bless~

Lang Tengah Day 1 Part 2

2011-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

SO here is part 2 of day 1

After our lunch we went for snorkeling and once we came back, we had tea. Tea was ok and we Sly with each other in the room until about 5 something where we went out to play volleyball. The girls walked along the beach while the guys played.

After that, we went walking also, and took pictures. Below are the pictures to feast your eyes with.

Can you see the fishes?

Sunset

Nice clear water

God Bless~

Lang Tengah Day 1 Part 1

2011-08-20T20:51:00.001-07:00

21st August 2011

On 5th of August, my friends and I went to Lang Tengah for a vacation. Where is Lang Tengah you ask? It's an island off the coast of Terengganu and can only be reached by a boat. I have been waiting eagerly for this vacation to come ever since I started working as I have been very busy and would like to unwind and relax.

On the morning of the 5th, woke up early at 4.30 a.m and reached Shawn's house at 5. His dad fetched us to KL Central so that we can take a bus to KLIA. We got on the bus and I slept on the way and we reached KLIA. It's the first time I have been there and boy IT'S DANG HUGE!! It's so huge that it's a little crazy. And it's very beautiful too.

Checked ourselves in and went to eat breakfast at McD before boarding. We almost missed the flight as we didn't expect our counter to be the last. It's so far that it took us about 4 - 5 minutes RUNNING. Announcement was made to Mr. Yoong Mun Kiat to come quickly to the counter and go into the plane. That's us. XD Nice start to an amazing trip eh?

First time taking MAS, and the service was good. There's peanuts and drinks on board. Unlike AirAsia where I had to spend RM 3 for a 300ml bottled water. After reaching the Terengganu airport, we exited at once as the van driver has been waiting for us. The van took us to the jetty and off we went on a boat.

Me sitting with an uncle who's from Subang

Very soon, the water turned blue

After about 1 hour of boat ride, we finally reached our destination. The first thing which captivated us was how clear the water is. We were like 'ooooo' AWESOME!

The clear water ^^

This is our hotel room

How it looks like inside

This is how it looks like outside

It's a simple place but it's nice and I like the feeling. Close to nature and so un-city-like.

We checked into our rooms, had lunch and quickly changed our attire for our first snorkeling trip. I don't have photos of them, but the experience was really wonderful, especially at our second snorkeling place where there's so many fishes.

Water is so clear and the fishes seemed to be dancing around us. Simply lovely. Next post about what we did in the evening, coming up soon

God Bless~

Life is like driving

2011-08-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

Life is like driving

Go too fast and you might overshoot

Go too slow and you might never reach the destination on time

Go too fast and you might get into an accident

Go too slow and people behind will start pushing you to move faster

Move at a nice speed so that you can enjoy the scenery on your journey

At times, the journey will be dangerous

Due to rain and bumpy roads

But most of the time, it would be sunny and smooth

There will be people to act as signboards, telling you where to go

Believe in all of them, and you might get lost

Use your experience and discerning mind to navigate your way

Along the way, there will be people who will irritate you

Be sensible and do not be irritated by them

Work too hard, and the car might break down

It's important to find the time to rest and rejuvenate, just as how you would service your car

The most important thing to know is where to go

For knowing not where to head is equivalent to wasting of time and energy.

God Bless~

Weed and the Wheat

2011-08-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

4th August 2011

A few weeks ago, I heard the sermon about the weed and the wheat and wanted to share about it, but was held back due to my busy-ness. It was a parable in the Bible and it goes something like this.

An owner of a farm planted good wheat in his farm. At night, his enemy came and planted weeds and left. The following morning, a few servants came and said to the owner "Sir, weren't the seeds that you planted good seeds? Why are there weeds among the wheat? Should I go and pull it out?"

The owner replied "No. If you pull out the weeds, the good wheat might be uprooted together with the weeds. Let them grow side by side until the time comes when I will gather the wheat into my barn and burn the weeds"

So what is the moral of this parable? Why wouldn't the owner pull out the weeds? Wouldn't it be easier if the weeds were all uprooted and only the wheat were allowed to grow?

It seems that wheat and weeds look alike when they are young. One could easily be mistaken a weed for a wheat and vice versa. If let's say the owner would want to pull out the weeds, he could be pulling out the wheat by accident.

Moral 1: Whether or not a person is a weed or a wheat can only be determined at the end of his/her life. It is only then that we can clearly see the fruit of their labour.

Now let's talk about the servant who suggested to pull out the weed. Is this servant doing the right thing? On the surface, the servant might be concerned, but he could also want to make himself 'smart' by suggesting the weeding out of weeds.

Moral 2: We should not be the one to judge whether a person is a wheat or a weed. Let us not be like the servant who would want to act all righteous and weed out the weeds. Only God should judge, and what's more, whether a person is a weed or a wheat will only be ascertained when his/her time has come.

If we were quick to judge whether a person is a weed or a wheat, the church would be lacking of so many saints.

************************************************************************

Short update on my life.

1) I am going Lang Tengah tomorrow. Naice :D

2) My love the kids at my centre. Although they do drive me crazy sometimes, but I love them. Some of them are 'OMG' so cute.

3) Awaiting anxiously for Fulbright shortlisting.

God Bless~

Dreams and musings

2011-07-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

10th July 2011

I had a very strange dream this morning and inside the dream i actually cried. Drama isn't it? So what happened in the dream?

I remember seeing someone (my friend) doing some strenuous exercise and it she was doing the exercise really really high up. She was doing and doing until she fell down. I guess it was about 16 floors high. I got a shock of my life and ran to see her. When I got there, I saw some paramedics carrying out a girl whose legs were already severed. I was stunned.

Then I saw another person who was walking and talking on the phone. It was my friend who fell down. She was perfectly fine. I ran to her and shed tears of joy and relieve.

In reality, falling so from such a height... you would not come out uninjured. In reality, i might not have shed tears. But this is a dream, so everything is possible.

************************************************************************************

I wonder why I always have this urge to 'save' people from their sorrow. Well actually that's not true, I only have this urge on selected people. XD what is my motivation i wonder. praise? intrinsic motivation? :x

God Bless~

Work

2011-06-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

One of the main reasons for me being busy would be work. I am currently working in a child enrichment centre as a mentor. Started work at the end of April. As for these 2 weeks, I have been working for 13 days straight now. :p

I always hear about people who talks about bad working experience. Although I had had bad working experience, my job is really good now. I enjoy my job and it's nice when you get to do what you like. I like playing with children and being childish at times, so I suppose this job suits me well. It's a plus that your colleagues are funny and they share the same wavelengths :)

SOME of the kids there are REALLY CUTE. I have a few personal kids which I like very much. This 1 kid gave me presents for Teacher's Day. So nice isn't it? I feel so loved.

The front of the card, together with the cookies.

Inside of the card. Although the drawing is not very nice,

I still thought it was very lovely of her.

The back of the card.

Kids there are smart, and they are frank. It is nice to be with kids.

God Bless~

Convocation Post

2011-06-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

My convo was on April 4th 2011. Clearly this post is long overdue but I just got the mood and the free time to blog about it. So here goes.

So after finishing and passing both GRE and TOEFL, I am eagerly waiting for D-day to come. Mainly, I would want to take photos with all my friends which I have made throughout my undergraduate years. Before my convo, I did invite some of my friends who were not convo-ing to come together, namely people from the volleyball club, but I guess none came except for Bobo, who was there because of Cha cha.

Even those who went to the convo, I didn't manage to get photos with them, because everyone is just everywhere. And there's no reception as it was in LG, which makes it hard for people to call each other.

But there are photos to make me remember this day.

Welcoming Banner

My family who have supported me throughout my journey.

Mr. Lam

Jian, my private pilot. XD

Ah Bit

Lynnette Chai whom I RARELY see these days

Family Photo 2

All the above photos are taken inside the hotel. Now for some outdoor shots (which I think are nicer)

Ms. Too

Lam and me and the bushes.

Evie Teh joined in.

My lovely juniors who came and see me. Really touched.

My juniors gave me 2 presents. One is this pen.

Another is this cert. So sweet of them right?

Main reason for outdoor shots? Throwing the mortar boards of course!

Take 1

Take 2

It's a day to be remembered. Although there's regret that I did not manage to take photos with all of my friends, I suppose we cannot be too greedy in life.

Time to move on in life.

God Bless~

Science and Life

2011-05-17T09:39:00.001-07:00

Science attempts to make life quantifiable, but is in itself is an oxymoron

It's maxim of empirical research is at loggerheads with the intangibleness of knowledge

Science will never be able to quantify life, for it cannot quantify death

Life

2011-05-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

May 17th 2011

Life is not about money

Life is never about money

Life is about relationships

and how we use money to maintain relationships

Life is not about the tangible things in life

More often than not, it is the intangible things in life which are precious to us

We fight for peace, truth, justice, love, ideology and many more intangible things

Knowledge is life's eyes,

For it helps one to discern between good and bad

Feeling is life's skin

For it gives sensation to life and is as important, if not more important than knowledge

What good is it to be able to discern between good and bad but unable to feel for one another?

I'll tell you what life is about.

Life is about death and how we humans struggle futilely to avoid death.

Without death, there would be no life

and life with death in mind, is a life lived without regret, for that is when one will not waste life.

Written by Terence Yee

God Bless~

Spectators VS Actors

2011-04-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

April 08, 2011

Generally, I had had a hectic week, and I am enjoying my time chillaxing now. It had been a pretty good week so far since I finished my TOEFL and GRE. Although it probably isn't awesome results, but it's adequate for me. At least, I will be able to go to the US with such a score. And I was worried I won't pass my GRE. Took it while I was having flu, fever and cough. Gung ho max la.. Thank God for his guidance and Spirit. Finishing my GRE was the best news so far.

Sunday is my convo. I am pretty excited about it actually. Not excited about going on stage, but rather taking photos with all my buddies buddies as it marks a significant milestone in life.

Owhkay, so that's a little update on my life so far. Now let's get to the topic of the day: Spectator VS Actors.

Most of us, I believe, are spectators, rather than actors. We like to see things, comment, talk about it, spread it, but do not do anything about it. For example, we watch soccer on tv, and someone missed the goal.

People will shout " WHAT LAH... EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER CAN KICK BETTER THAN THAT" Seriously, your grandmother can kick better than that? Why isn't your grandmother playing in the field then?

Another very popular phenomenon. Politicians. Malaysians LOVE to criticize politicians. Corruption la, traffic light rosak la, road filled with potholes la, low wage la, high inflation la, almost everything under the sun, we can complain. But are you doing anything about it? Why don't you take action and go complain to the relevant authorities? Write letter or call or go to their office? "Cause they won't listen lah" Maybe they won't, but have u tried?

Let's say u tried and they really didn't listen, then what's the point of saying out loud? Is it educational in purpose? So that people surrounding you knows how bad the government is? Or is it done so that people surrounding you know how concerned you are for the country? Or how smart you are? Or is it just a cathartic expression?

Parents sometimes take for granted their child's ability to study. AIYO, no 100 ar? No A ar? No first class honors ar? You so smart, you go take the test lor.

Oh oh.. the recent tsunami in Japan. I suppose many people say "let's pray for Japan" or something like "poor Japan", but are you doing anything substantial to help? Did you donate money for example in order to alleviate their sufferings? If you did not, then maybe you should ponder why didn't you. Why only pity and not help?

I suppose many of us do this is because it's so much easier to appear that we have done something, namely saying things, rather than doing things. When we need to act on something, it is a burden on us. It becomes INCONVENIENT. And therefore, we only say things to appear as if we are concerned, but we don't really lend a hand when it counts.

In order to move forward, we need to start acting, and talk less bullshit. When you see things, instead of saying, keep it in your heart and make a resolution to change. Trust me, you will feel that your life is a lot more significant when you know you have changed someone's life or the world for the better.

God Bless~

Musings

2011-03-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

Friday 25th March

Tomorrow I will be taking my TOEFL. On the 5th of April, my GRE. That's 2 exams before my convo. Hopefully i pass with some colours, if not flying colours. If not, I will cry during convo itself.

As you all know (or maybe don't know), I plan to study in the US and in order to do that, i need to sit for both of the test. GRE's question is making me mad and crazy at the same time. It's a very smart test if you ask me. really need more practice..

For the past few days, I have been thinking about all the possibilities and I have come with terms on the matter. The main reason was of course financial. If got enough money, won't be scratching head. And I think of all the students with bright mind and yet are not given the chance to pursue their dreams due to economic constraints. What a waste isn't it?

While I was hiding in my cave thinking and emoing about stuff, Japan's citizen is battling the cold climate with little food and water and possible radiation leak. Whereas there's was between people who support and opposes Gaddafi.

Who am I kidding right? These are the real problem people are facing. And I am sulking because of the possibility of not going overseas for studies? I should be grateful I have a home to stay, food to eat, cloths to wear, peaceful country, nice weather with no radiation exposure. With that, my perspective is in order. It might be true that I might not be able to pursue my studies overseas. If that's the case, such is life. Study in Malaysia only loh. Should not be complaining so much. God has His plan for me.

And He has plan for you too~

God Bless~

Dream and Life

2011-03-18T01:06:00.000-07:00

March 18th, 2011

These few days, I have been in a great dilemma for I know not what to do. At least now some progress is in place and I will eat, sleep dream about it so that it doesn't go to waste.

All of us dream. About wanting a nice family, nice girl/boyfriend, nice job, nice house, nice career etc. The question is, how many of us actually know what we really want in life and chase after it? To pursue what we want to do in life is perhaps the biggest dream all of us have.

Of course, as with everything, there are obstacles. The biggest obstacle to living a fulfilling life is don't know what to do with life, because when you know not what you want to do, you simply don't know how to achieve it. Even when one knows what to do, there are always obstacles such as financial, family responsibility, etc. and honestly speaking, I don't know which is better. To not know of one's purpose in life, or to know and yet not able to pursue it.

I guess I know of my dream and in trying to fulfill it, depletes my energy constantly. Searching for a postgrad course is a pain in the ass. Searching for a postgrad course and at the same time considering the scholarship possibility and fees is a pain in the ass and in the brain.

I can so dream of myself living outside of Malaysia. Living in a foreign country with the different environment. I don't know whether I would like it, but many years down the road, I am sure it will be a treasured memory. At the same time, I am worried about living outside of my comfort zone. What will happen to me without my favorite food (zhap fan)? XD

My dreams will surely be fulfilled, be it in Malaysia or overseas. Cuma kalau kat Malaysia, kurang glamor-LAH.

God Bless~

Too much food?

2011-03-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

Sunday 6th March 2011

Today I read an interesting article about the amount of food that the world needs and sadly about it's disparity. One of the world's concern is 'With the increasing number of people, will the earth manage to produce as much food to feed it's people, especially since global warming is causing a stir in crops production?'

It seems that the world is growing enough, actually more than enough for everybody to have a satisfying meal everyday even when global warming is lessening the crop production.

If crops yielding are more than what people can eat, it means supply is more than demand, which means, food prices should be low, which means, even the poor should be able to buy food and not die of starvation.

The question then is, why do so many people still die of hunger?

The main reason is of course: People

1) Rich people are on the lookout for money. They buy land, and scoot away the poor farmers (often with the permission of government, which is sad) and plant whatever they want to plant which will bring them money. Even when they plant food, the food is not meant to feed the own poor people, but rather sold outside at a higher price. As said, 'whatever which will bring them money'

2) The price of food is not decreasing but increasing even when supply exceeds demand because of lobbying by these rich people. So poor people can't afford food and starve till death.

3) A whole lot of the world's crop that can be used to feed human are used to feed animals instead. It takes 7kg of crops to produce 1 kg of meat (or so the newspaper states). That means, people are eating so much meat that so much crop is being used to feed animals so that we can eat them. If we were to eat less meat, more crops could be used to feed humans.

4) A lot of corn are being used as fuel rather than feeding people. So there you go, feeding the machine, but not people. Why? Because it makes more economic sense.

What is done by certain people, made other people suffer all the more. So what can be done? Awareness is one. Another thing would be to eat less meat. I guess I would try to eat less meat.

Of course, if the poor gets education, they would earn enough to buy food and not starve to death, but this would need measures from government. Let's pray for the best

Oh, before signing off, there is a phrase which caught my attention while reading the newspapers. Remember it was said that people worry that the world's population would outgrow the availability of food? One person commented saying

"Why can't the heaving masses of black, brown and yellow-skinned peoples have fewer babies and eat less so that more corn can be burnt as biofuel in big 4WDs or to feed cows to produce fillet mignon steaks?"

This is of course a very bad remark at so many levels, but let's take a look at why such a comment would come to be.

It’s no coincidence, wrote Monbiot, that most of those obsessed that population growth is a “problem” are post-reproductive wealthy white men – “It’s about the only environmental issue for which they can’t be blamed"

While the developed countries are fighting against obesity, third world countries are fighting to stay alive.

God Bless~

Reference:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2011/3/6/lifefocus/8176527&sec=lifefocus

Repressed emotions?

2011-03-05T23:57:00.000-08:00

One of the characteristics of dreams is amplification of emotions and that's really true as I had a sweet lovely dream that made me feel awful after waking up.

I do not know how to put it in words just yet, but the feelings is so special it is as if my whole life is at ease when I felt that emotion. It was as if God's hand was touching me. It was as if I have been searching for this one thing my whole life.

This emotion made me feel treasured. It was about to come complete, but it didn't happen in the dream.

Jian said that between the 3 of us, my life was the most 'stormless' because I am single. Have I been repressing my feelings for you?

God Bless~

Broga Hill

2011-02-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

Taking a break from my Bali trip postings, I present to you my Broga Hill expedition. My friends and I went to Broga on Sunday 2oth February. We agreed to meet up at the petrol station at 5.00 morning. I slept only for 3 hours, and woke up at 4.30 to be on time. We only left there at 5.30. I really really dislike people coming late. Not satisfied! I don't understand why people can't be on time.

After that we drove there and reached around like 5.50 - 6.00. We were supposed to climb up and look at sunrise, but then it didn't happened that way. :x The way up was like jay walking, seriously. And i thought it would be fun, but not really fun only la. It's not hard going up, the a little hard part comes at the very last stretch before the top. It's steep, but nothing to be worried about.

The view on top

Jump shot

All of us together

Remember I said going up wasn't a problem? The problem is with coming down because it's steep, and it's slippery. And there are many people coming down. Of course there were many people going up as well, which I do not like because it slows down the progress, but coming down is a pain in the ass la.

The amount of people, and the steepness

I slipped a few times while coming down. But managed to come down safely. The coming down part is really nonsense. So many people slipped and without help from other people, they might have very well gotten themselves hurt. Good thing the people there are good and willing to help. I helped too :p

So after coming down, we went to a temple, and then brunch. After coming back, I wanted to have a nap after showering. But someone has to tempt me go play volleyball. Therefore, no nap. I thought I could go play from 3 till 5 and then come back Pandan Indah to play some more with my gang, but no... they started at 5 and I only know of it after i reached there. boo hoo..

Am i gonna climb broga again? NOPE! Not worth it.

God Bless~

Bali Trip Day 2

2011-02-18T07:59:00.000-08:00

So here comes part 2

We woke up in the morning and had breakfast. We woke up pretty early as it will be a long journey today visiting many places.

Morning having breakfast

This is how our hotel looks like in the morning.

So first of, we went to watch a supposedly very famous Balinese dance, touted as the 'best dance in Bali so far' by our tour guide. We reached there at 10, just as it was about to start. Awesome timing.

Balinese dance

The dance consists of 5 chapters, all telling a single story and it's a really long dance. About an hour or so. And it's pretty hot there cause there's no fan. :x

We then went to a batik painting factory. To see how batiks are made.

Freehand painting batik. Very nice drawing

The batiks there are so expensive. No money to buy.

After the batik factory, we went to a souvenir shop, where the things there are also very expensive. While the girls are looking at the souvenirs, me and Lam do what? Camwhore lo. XD We weren't supposed to take any pictures in the shop, but oh who cares. XD

Bored

After that, we went for our lunch

This is the restaurant where we ate our lunch

The place is really nice, and it's windy. Nice background for us to sink our teeth into the food. Although the food isn't really awesome (none of the Balinese food is awesome), but the scenery made up for it.

This is our lunch

The nice backdrop accompanying us

Jian is the boss. Don't mess with him. XD

Group photo at the restaurant. The surrounding is nice ^^

Group photo again

After lunch, we went to another few places, namely an art gallery. Many things happened here, which I would leave it amongst ourselves, for the sake of protecting our dignity, and privacy. XD

In front of the gallery

After we were done with the gallery, we went to another factory, this time it's gold and silver.

It seems like no matter one goes, Bali has beautiful sceneries eh.

We went for massage after that and it's my first time experiencing full body massage. It's not cheap, but aiyah, everyone says Bali massage good right. So give it a try. I do not think that it's awesome, just so so. First time kena eat toufu until like this. :x

Only 4 of us went massaging. Mr. Lam did not go and he himself went for a walk. He took some shots of the beautiful scenery he found.

One of the scenery

Me and Jian only did 1 hour of massage, while the girls did 2 hours. So when our one hour was up, the 3 of us walked around the area. Mr. Lam asked a shop owner on the price of the painting, and it was cheaper than the factory we went earlier. He just wanted to know the price, but the shop owner got desperate and asked for a 'harga pass'. Sticky situation.

Advice: Don't bargain, unless you intend to purchase. Can get pretty scary.

When the girls are done, we hop onto our van, and head for our final destination for the day, which is Jimbaran Bay, where we would have our dinner by the beach. On the way, it started to rain, which means we couldn't eat outdoor like we planned.

But once we reach there, the rain stopped. Yay! We managed to secure a spot by the beach. The dinner is bad. to me it's bad. not tasty, and the crab seemed to be 'expired'. I didn't even makan the crab. :x

The girls

The guys

After dinner, went back to hotel, and discussed whether we would go for a night walk. Lam was still feeling uneasy because of his stomach, so only the 4 of us went.

We bought 4 bottles of Bintang beer and walked to a beach, which was supposed to be pretty near our hotel. It wasn't near actually, and we were like drunkards, walking while holding to our beer bottle. lol. It was my first time drinking so much beer actually. I don't drink beer cause it doesn't taste nice.

When we reach the beach, we were like.. woo hoo, we finally reach after walking for quite some time. But we weren't that pleased with it cause there's no wind. Strange cause the waves are huge. We were pretty worried that we would kena rompak, but Bali is a pretty safe place. Even at night, the place is pretty lively. I haven't seen any Mat Rempits around. lol

After that we walked back and tidur.

God Bless~

Bali Trip Day 1

2011-02-09T23:30:00.000-08:00

Owhkay owhkay.. it's time for me to blog about my Bali trip. I suppose some people have been waiting too long. I apologize.

So, the five of us went to Bali Jan 21st till Jan 25th. This post will detail the happenings on the first day, Jan 21st.

All of us got up really early in the morning and met up at KL Sentral to take a bus to LCCT. We were there on time and managed to get breakfast.

Sitting by the railing enjoying our breakfast and last meal in Malaysia before boarding

While in the plane, the two ladies told me horror stories about plane taking off and landing, saying that it's a little bit bumpy. Nope.. no such thing. Since it's my first time, I took a photo of how I am supposed to be sitting in a plane first time.

I was supposed to pose a frightened face. But I think i failed.

Finally managed to sit in a plane. Yay!

We were wondering what would happen to us if let's say our tour guide won't be there to pick us up. Really gg.com liao. When reach airport, there was our tour guide. So we weren't lost sheep after all :D

The van which drives us around for the 5 days

We reach about lunch time and our first stop was a restaurant name Malioboro, which has the specialty of ayam tulang lunak (literal translation: soft bone chicken). The bones can be eaten.

The money we spent on our lunch. Pretty expensive (if you could see the picture clearly)

After lunch, we went to our first destination, a coffee factory. Explanation about the types of coffees are given and we were given sample of coffee to taste. Tasted the luwak coffee which is the most expensive in the world. Tasted really strong.

Group photo at the entrance of the factory

Note: Mr. Lam drank the coffee and it affected him

So after visiting the coffee factory, we went to a tourist destination, Pura Luhur. It's a temple and we need to wear some things (waist bottom) in order to respect the place. It's a really really beautiful place.

Scenery from the cliff. In actual, the place looks nicer in real

Us by the cliff

Group photo

Group photo. The temple is at the back (above Mr. Lam's head, see?)

We have to walk our way there, but it's not that bad.

Nice view and weather

After that, we went to Garuda Wisnu Kencana Cultural Park. *At this point*, Mr. Lam's tummy is getting worse. This is where they are building a huge giant statue of garuda and Mr. Wisnu. lol

Group photo before going into the statue area

The guys.

Nice right? the background I mean, not the model. XD

After photo taking outside, we went inside, and took more photos

This is Mr. Wisnu, and it is still in completion

This is the Garuda. And it's also in completion.

Jump shot. Many more jump shots on the way.

We were fortunate enough to witness a procession at the time we were there.

We stayed for a while and see the whole dance.

This is the Balinese lion dance.

After that, we walked to the end of the park towards our restaurant for dinner.

Along the way, took photos.

If you can see clearly, I was trying to imitate the sculpture on the wall

In front of the restaurant

Now the drama starts.... *Drums roll* we were all seated at the restaurant and it's still pretty early. about 6 only. none of us were hungry, so we went out took some photos and chill. Came back in, everything seems normal.

Mr. Lam said his tummy is upset, wanted to go shit earlier, but the toilet was jam packed, so he didn't. When he reached the restaurant, he vomited and then surprisingly he fainted.

WE WERE LIKE.. OMG!!

placed him lying down on chairs, then tried finding the tour guide, as he wasn't inside the restaurant. ran out to find him, but i couldn't find him, then when i went back into the restaurant, he was there with what seems to be the Bali's version of 100 Plus. Cocoa Power! XD

After a while, he slowly regained back his composure, and guess what's the first thing he did when he wakes up?

Checks his hair to see if it's messy. =.=;

Arranges back his hair

You don't believe me?

Another proof. He needs two hands and is using the iphone as a mirror.

Gao lat not? XD

After all the drama mama, everyone was more settled down and was eating. The singers were asking us for song dedication. Shyuan requested for a song (i forgotten the name), but it's a love song. Then the band asked Shyuan to go dance.

Then takkan she danced alone right? By right, Lam was the one who should dance with her, but not feeling well ma.. so the 3 of us guys lat ta li lat, ta li tam pom to determine who should go dance. And the result is... Lam dance with her.. ahahaha.. it would have been so wrong if it's me or Jian. good thing. :p

Post-pengsan, pergi menari.

Then we finished with our dinner and headed back to our hotel to CHECK IN. yeap.. at night only check in. took bath, then after a while of conversation, tidur. Enough drama for the day.

God Bless~

Humanistic or Behaviorism?

2011-02-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

I am starting to worry what would happen to my children when I have them. Should I subscribe to humanistic or behaviorism?

If the little kiddo misbehave, do I explain to him/her that what he/she doing is wrong and therefore subscribing to humanistic school or should I beat and scold, subscribing to behaviorism school?

Initially I thought that I would not use punishment to discipline my kids, learning in class that we should educate them properly by explaining to them things (therefore modelling good behavior and not aggressive behavior), punishment is not as good as reward so on and so forth.

However, I think my thinking is a little different now. Children remains children. Sometimes, it is useless to explain to them because they do not (or have not) learn how to see from other people's perspective. Sometimes they are just stubborn and at other times, manipulative. So what happens when explaination doesn't does it's wonders? Scolding la. Or beating.

Example: Child sees a toy and refuses to let go. Demands to buy it. So what to do? Explain? If that doesn't work? The all mighty limit setting! ahahahaha.. If they are just plain stubborn, then how?

Recently I read an article written by an Asian lady on why Asians managed to raise typically successful kids as compared to Westerners (in the article, it is specified as U.S. people i think). In the article, the Asian lady (a Chinese) detailed how she scolded and belittled her daughter (7 years old) for failing to practice a piano song. Her husband (which is an 'ang moh') said that her behavior is too much, but she insisted on doing it her way. The daughter tried time after time and failing to play, she threw tantrum saying she would not want to practice the song. The mother FORCED her to play, with threats and for a few weeks stood on her ground. Finally, her daughter managed to learned it, performed in school and got praised for her performance.

That's not the point. The point is that at the night after she manages to play the song for the first time, both mother and child bonded in bed, laughing at how one had treated the other. Her ang moh husband, after seeing how his daughter performed so well on stage, gave his wife the thumbs up.

The problem (according to her) about Westerners parents is that they give up easily because they are too afraid of hurting the kids self esteem. This fear made them give in to almost anything their child wants. When the child throws tantrum, the parents give in. Praise is given to half done jobs for the fear of hurting self esteem. This made them contented.

It is actually very different from how Asian kids are being brought up. If one comes back and scored 90% in an exam, the Western parents would be proud, and probably frame up the paper. For the Asian parents, they will ask (or maybe scold) as to where the other 10% is. This in turn made them strive harder to achieve so called perfection and this never contented feeling drives them to work hard CONTINUOUSLY. Of course, it can be argued that scolding of children even when they get 90% would simply discourage them, but i suppose looking at history, the former case seems to be more of the typical outcome.

So humanistic? or behaviorism? I really think that punishment is a must in disciplining children. I might not think so then, but now it has changed. Why do I say so? Because with punishment, children learns fear, and they need to learn it so that they do not break the rules. It is like pain. If we do not know pain, we won't be avoiding painful things. We might jump from buildings to buildings, got cut and yet know not that it's taking our life slowly. Same like fear. If they do not know fear, they might do things which in reality might harm them and that is bad.

Taking time for self actualization? Bah. Give way for behaviorism. One thing important is that behaviorism must always be accompanied by explanation. Whether or not the child understands is secondary, but as the message is repeated, the child will learn to understand why certain behavior is unacceptable as they grow, and never repeat the same behavior. Understanding is important too, but it only comes when one ages.

God Bless~

When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall

2011-01-19T23:19:00.000-08:00

20th Jan 2011

When I was young, and Christmas trees were tall

Last night before I went to bed, suddenly there were flashback of my primary school time, specifically when I was getting my UPSR results. I remember that they called all standard 6 students to the canteen and announced the results, those who got 5As.

It was pretty nerve wrecking u know. I don't really remember how I felt, but i suppose it was anxiety, coupled with happiness when I heard my friends being called out one by one. When names are being called out, students have to lined up in front, it's like the teachers wants to purposely let other students know that 'these' are the good students. yea, of course it's a kind of praise, but what about those students who are not in these category? how do they feel?

finally my name was also being called out. i walked to the front and lined up as well. i remember i shook hands with all those who were lining up that day, congratulating each and everyone of them. I don't know what i was thinking. if it was me now, I think i wouldn't do such a thing. what would the person i shook hands with think? maybe they would think that

'what a show off.. need me to remember that u also get 5As?'

hahaha.. yea thinking is getting more complicated now. don't know whether it's good or bad.

am going to bali tomorrow.. i hope it would be a safe journey, coupled with lots of laughter, happiness, joy and relaxation. although i doubt the last 1, but it's a hope. hahaha

Don't asked me why, but time has passed us by

God Bless~

Songs

2010-12-31T09:29:00.000-08:00

Just to shout out the songs that I love most this year. The song might not be launched this year, but yea, this is from my point of view

1) Chao ren bu hui fei (Superman don't know how to fly) by Jay Chou

Talks about pressure from every side of the world. Do this, you will be judged, do that and still will be judged. It's like everything you do, it will be negatively looked at.

Like for example being a student. You don't do well in studies, people say u stupid. Do dang smart, other students don't like u and outcast u, see u as a nerd. On average, people will say you not outstanding enough.

Expectation is so high that it's almost impossible to achieve. Which leads to.. a person having low self esteem.

Bu yao wen wo ku guo le mei, ying wei chao ren bu neng liu yen lei

Don't ask me whether I have cried, because Superman can't shed tears

Moral of the song: Do what you want and it's ok to not achieve the society's expectation because it's ridiculously ridiculous. As long as you reach your own expectations, you should be proud of it.

2) Mei na me jian dan (Not so simple) by Huang Xiao Hu

Talks about how it's not easy for 2 person to come together. Each having their own personalities and differences.

This song is especially flavorful during emo time. lol. it really reflects the reality of love life as compared to all the fairy tales and the lovey dovey stories being portrayed by mass media.

Moral of the song: Love is not easy. Sacrifice is a must in the equation.

3) Just the way you are - Bruno Mars

Very lovey dovey song as compared to the harsh reality of no. 2. I like it because it gives hope and it's lovely la. It's good if I got someone to sing to, but then i don't. sucks to be me. XD

Happy New Year

God Bless~

Graduation Volleyball Journey Post

2010-12-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

Since I have a graduation post for my studies, takkan I don't have a graduation post for my volleyball life throughout college right? My volleyball life has been very colourful during my university days.

I remembered when I went to college the first few days, I went to Department of Student Affairs (DSA) and asked the person whether there's a volleyball club in HELP. He said NO. I was disappointed. :x

But during my first year in Psychology, the volleyball club is being established by A-levels people. And so starts my journey. They initially played at Bangsar Sports Complex and there's where everything started. The first time I went, I still remember vividly some of the faces, most prominently, Sufan. He was the first person which caught my attention because his skills were above the rest. I think he had the same reaction to me too. Ok, this bit is probably my perasan-ness. XD

We played on a weekly basis, and rain or shine, there will be people. Seriously. hahaha.. then I brought in Ying Zhou when I got to know that he plays volleyball during MC 100. We were in the toilet discussing about it :p

At that time, it was just playing for fun, as there were no tournaments yet. In 2008, the president of the volleyball club said to me that I will be taking over the club. i was like @@. why me? ahahaha. So yea la, i did took over the club, and the first big thing was to bring in people to play for Masiswa 2008, which would lead eventually to MAPCU 2008.

Masiswa 2008

Belle, Alvin, Vi Yi, Verene, Candice, Ronaldo, Jun Hao, Farey, Ying Zhou

MAPCU 2008

Kaven, Wei Leng, Xinrou, Verene, Dee May, Ian, Belle, Chiann, Alexis

Panjang, Me, Vi Yi, Candice, Crystal, Annis, Khye Lie, Shamiso

After 2008, then I started to enter and find more competitions. It's fun, and college pays for it. What's not fun about that? XD Many competitions I joined, both open, invitation and closed. Normally don't win la.. but play for the fun of it ;p

Beach Volleyball in Cyberjaya 2009

Ah Phat, Me, Ai Li and Ying Zhou

Beach Volleyball in Sunway 2008

Tai Siong, Zheng Zoe, Stanley, Shawn

Ah Phat, Gee Chong, Thean, Kar Wai, Me, Sze Yah

Friendly match with one of the Singapore Uni 2009

Kay Chong, Lionel, Ying Zhou, Shin, Me, Yan Jiong

KC, Jun Hao

MAPCU 2009

Saed, Candice, Me, Alvin, Sek Meng, Ying Zhou, Xiao Zou

Lionel, Jonathan, Candice, Krystel, Yean May, Crystal

Xinrou, Vi Yi, Kaven, KC, Kay Chong, Khoi Yit

MAPCU 2009

Sek Meng, Saeh

Ying Zhou, Mark, Me, Xiao Zou, Lionel

Khoi Yit, Kay Chong, Jun Hao, KC, Jonathan, Alvin

Sports Carnival 2009

Alvin, Ying Zhou, Me, Khoi Yit

Ai Li, Kaven, Ian, Kelvin

Sports Carnival 2009

Ian, Me, Alvin, Kelvin, Ai Li, Kaven

Fuiyoh. Dive! XD

Sports Carnival 2009

I can jump that high? Maybe net low lor hor? :p

Telematch 2009

Denise, Lionel, Sek Meng, Ying Zhou, Kay Chong, Xiao Zou, Me

Ian, Xinrou, Yuinnie, Shin

Jun Hao, Candice, Maggie, Vi Yi, Yean May, Alexis, Khoi Yit

Titiwangsa 2010

Fadzly, KC, Kay Chong, Me, Ying Zhou, Aevent

Li Huei, Shin, Krystel, Candince

The two red girls are not our team ok. XD Wei Fen and Yean May

Titiwangsa 2010

Li Huei, Me, Aevent, Kay Chong, Shin, Candice

KC, Ying Zhou

MAPCU 2010

Mark, Saed, Shin, Kevin

Alvin, Xiao Zou, Aevent, KC, Me, Sek Meng

MAPCU 2010

There are many more competitions which I joined and did not put any photos here like TARC-Digi 2008, 2009 and 2010. lol.. I also joined Kepong team to play at UPM Open. Oh i so memalukan mamalia when play with them. ><

Besides playing ball, we also got kam ching kam ching 1.. some of the many outings that had happened

Karaoke. They LOOOVE singing songs.

Taman Pertanian

Steamboat at Yuen

Now that I am done studying in HELP, i suppose my life volleyball will be less colourful. hmmm.. memang stress dealing with those monkeys. :p but these are all cherished memories~

Yours truly

God Bless~

Pre post Prom

2010-12-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

Before prom, i did not managed to sleep well. There's a few things going on in my mind and it keeps on repeating and repeating and repeating itself. actually it's repeating now too!! :s

After prom, which is today, i had a strange interesting dream(s). i slept at 3.30. cool huh?

I dreamt that inside my dream, there's Dr. Anansu, together with her other half, a White dude. ahahahaha.. so funny.

also i remember of me getting hit by girls. another very funny thing in the dream.

Inside the dream, there's also Zhang Dong Liang. So hilarious when i woke up and think back about it. Of course when you read it this way, it is disconnected pieces, but when I dreamed, it was all connected.

Christmas is coming.

God Bless~

Graduation Post

2010-12-17T05:51:00.000-08:00

Finally. Graduation!! Ah, it's been a long journey, and a very fruitful one. This is going to be a very very very very very long post, because I will try and put some of the most eventful things that have happened throughout my university life. Just want to show everyone how awesome my life is. XDXD

Let's start from Foundation onwards:

This is the photo that I have, English lesson together with our lecturer. I think not many people remember this photo. Not even me actually until i saw it the other day. I was so stressed up and I wanted to online, but then that day i couldn't connect to the internet. So I looked at photos. Brings back memories. That was when we were younger.. oh my goodness. XD

Kwok Weng, Derek, Tawfik, Farid, Cheah, Siva, Maxveen, Me

Nasha, Amanda, Li Shen, Stephanie, May Ching, Dionne

Lynnette, Ally, Mrs. Chuah, Isabelle, Sarah.

Sorry for the two person i forgotten the name. :x

Another very important event in HMC was Trolak camp of course. This photo remains one of my personal favourites. ^^

Besides Trolak, there's another 3 important events in foundation which was the campaigning during election, HMC annual ball as well as the PD trip. But I don't have any nice photos to show.. so that shall be that.. Some other interesting things would be MISbed, Juz Do It cafe, all the scandals during foundation *wink wink* Lam *cough cough*. XD Now moving on to Bpsych years. Even more interesting. hahahaha

Bpsych Years. The beginning was of course Orientation Day. This was the very first day of Bpsych for me.

That's Cha Loo, Liggy and Hui Sin there. So much changes in how they look now. They look better now. ^^

During Freshman Lunch, we were required to wear robes, as motivation for us to complete our years there. Inilah kita masa itu.

First class honors student (Take 1)

Us without the robe

We of course studied hard, and along the way did many assignments

Active Citizenship Project

Meng, Shyuan, Evie, Joel, Charissa, Jian, Sara

Winning Colloquium ^^

Some other colloquium. Muka first class honors (Take 2)

Group Process.
John, Me, Adrian Stevenson, Sarah and Cheryl

Not forgetting, our Treasure Hunt.

Now onto some of the outings that we had. I am trying to put it according to time frame, from those days until most recent. But if there's mistake, look kindly on me. hahaha

Genting

As the name suggest, Rakuzen

KL Tower. The surrounding is pretty nice actually.

Putrajaya

BBQ in Sunway

Career Exploration Club visit 2008

This is in Penang Kek Lok Si Temple

Ah Bit, Yue Ying, Jun Kit, Filbert, Khoi Yit, Vin, Leong

After finals 2008

Coral, Liggy, Hui Sin, Cha Loo, Jian

John, Me, Filbert, Seng Li

A&W, right after beef ball noodles in Masjid Jamek.

I am not in the picture, cause I am the one taking the photo. :p

Crystal's 21st birthday. I especially like this photo.

She's laughing so happily

Melaka 2009, nearing Christmas I remember

You can stand under my umbrella. XD

Sushi Tei in Tropicana City

Melaka 2010

Melaka 2010 in Nadaje

Penang

Penang too! On the ship

We had many other trips and events, which I don't have the photos. So sad. Like the swim in river, Melawati, our makan at Hulu Langat, Ipoh trip, ARUPS, the presentation on insight for Open Day, presentation on Autism and many other things. All in all, it has been a great journey, because I had good people by my side. And these are not including my volleyball life. I guess I will dedicate another post to that :D

Leave you with this last photo

Muka First Class Honors (Take 3) XD

God Bless~

Teachers oh teachers

2010-12-06T04:34:00.000-08:00

How many of us actually remember our teachers? Who have sacrificed their time and life to teach us the things we need to learn in life?

The first teacher which left a deep impression on me was my Standard 1 and 2 class teacher, Ms. Azizah. See.. i remember her name. but i don't remember her face.. ahahaha.. but I know that she's kind and really patient. Another teacher i remember was my Moral teacher during standard 1. A tall Malay man with moustache, I don't remember his name sadly. He always like to use our Moral period to tell us stories about a fat man and a skinny man. and it has continuation, which would make us wait in eagerness for the next class.

I also remember my English teacher for standard 3. Pn. Kasmawati (not sure if spelt correctly), a plump Malay lady, who is very strict. She spanks people. hahaha.. and everytime I want to go to toilet during her period, I would rehearse in my mind a few times how to ask for permission, before mustering up my courage to walk to her and ask.

Also, I remember Encik Suhaimi, my Maths teacher (or was it Science? maybe both) in standard 6. And my BM teacher who is really kind. Forgotten her name :x

In secondary school, I remember my Form 1 English teacher. A pretty big size (for a Chinese female) and she's really fun. Likes telling us stories. My form 2 English teacher is also good. She's a Malay, petite, lovely lady. And because she's a Malay, some of my friends thought that she isn't good in English. My friends went to find her and came back saying to me "Oh she's a Malay, but she speaks perfect English" XD Rahul.. u remember this? XDXD

Cikgu Prema, history and BM teacher in Form 3. She takde suka kita, sebab dia ingat kita amat berlagak dan angkuh kerana kita kelas pertama. ahahahaha, and this persisted until when we were form 5 (long after she taught us) lol..

Moving on to form 4 and 5, Datin (Chemistry teacher), Tahiah (Physics teacher) and.. oh biology teacher not important (She made us all dislike biology :x) Add Maths teacher, Mr. Thean (also our volleyball coach then) was a person of small stature but likable by many girls. XD

History teacher, Pn. Norizam, Moral teacher, Encik Jamil, and i forgotten my BM, BI and Maths teacher's name. Dang!

And how could i not put his name in? Mr. Lee Kean Sing. My tuition teacher for Add Maths. Likes to blow water, but his teaching methods are good. At least it gives me a deeper understanding rather than just managing to solve the problems.

Tuition teachers... My BM tuition teacher in Johan during primary school was pretty nice. Also, Science was also pretty nice. I had quite fond memories of Johan. Especially with Boon Kit, Weng Soon and the person who always poke my back, Ms. Valarie Seow. XD

Biology tuition teacher was great. Great because he revived my biology from my school teacher. XD he's funny also. and loves to enter the topic of sexuality. lol.

I am really thankful for my education in the public school. It made me less prejudiced I would say. It made me have the opportunity to come together regardless of races. It made me realize that despite our differences and difference in perception, our perception of the others may be wrong. It made me who I am today.

Thank you to all my teachers. May God always show mercy unto all of you

God Bless~

Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow

2010-12-02T06:09:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow. Those who have taken English literature should know these famous words where we were forced to study.

tomorrow is going to be my last class in HELP. let's hope it stays that way. being nostalgic about leaving. so many memories and friends i got to know. so many things learnt. some people can't wait to get out of uni. me? ambivalent.

where am i heading to next? i want to go work and travel, but the plan doesn't seem to fit properly as yet. I WANT GO STUDY IN THE US!!

past few days, have been in a very contemplative mood. all because of bobo chee. :p influence me then make me emo pulak. muahahaha.. undecided.. how? :x

if i own a camera, i would so want to go stalk lecturers and ask them to have a photograph with me. also to all my kawans kawans.

entering hmc, student council, leadership camp, MIS bed, HMC ball, psych colloquium, volleyball club, all the volleyball competitions, visit to Dominos with shelther home, experiments, research on autism and all other researches, counselling, play therapy, group processes, visit to old folks, out there finding out about taboos, ARUPS, tutoring, Dota charity competition and all other things have made me grow as a person.

christmas is coming. and my course is ending. a new beginning.

God Bless~

Hatch, Mismatch, Dispatch

2010-11-26T06:49:00.000-08:00

November 26th 2010

Fr. Christopher once said that many Catholics comes to church only on a few occasions that the priest have termed it as "hatch (baptism), match (marriage) and dispatch (anointing of the sick)" Funny, but have some truth in it.

This semester, I learnt about the whole 3 categories from hatch, to mismatch (rather than match) and dispatch. It's really cool to be able to learn all these things from on hands research and assignments. Again, this semester is probably the semester which I learnt most in terms of gaining experience. It's been a wonderful experience and i see it fit to be an ending semester for me :)

Hatch - learnt about children. more specifically how to do therapeutic play with children. children are awesome beings don't you think so? they have such immense live in them. So good at gaining insight and yet at times asked the silliest question ever. Cute max! The special thing about this course is that we have to go out and actually do real play sessions with real kids. No longer like counseling skills where we video record role play. This is REAL PLAY! and it's really a challenging experience, a great experience

Mismatch - y mismatch rather than match? because of contemporary psych, where we learn about different ideologies humans have as an adult. Children don't fight for ideology. Old people are probably at an age where it doesn't matter as much. It's the adults who fight for what they think should be and there's where the mismatch comes in. Many people just don't understand the other parties' point of view and don't 1 to listen. So what happens? mismatch and therefore fight. war happens, sadly.

Through this subject, I learnt a lot about different ideologies and at the same time got to explore my own beliefs. Beliefs about religion, sexuality, law, prejudice and discrimination etc. and it's really been an eye opener to learn about how different people view the same thing. We have to interview people regarding what their thoughts are about certain topics. And it is here that I went to a mosque for the first time. Do you know that mosque are actually a pretty nice place (forgive me cause i never entered a mosque before)? At least the mosque at my place is really pretty :) It was also the first time i have been to a tattoo shop and an indian temple. Challenging, yet memorable experience.

Dispatch - Old people. Group process' assignment was about older adults and we got to go to an old folks home, and the experience was just AWESOME! really proud of the old folks home that we visited. Proves that old folks need not live a miserable like how I always thought would happen. From group process subject, I managed to learn more about different groups of people from children to older adults and it expanded my horizon on things. Not challenging, but really good experience. Not to mentioned the fact that I got to make good friends.

I was pretty anxious with taking these subjects because I do not have my normal friends to take it with me, which means group assignment might be screwed up. Amazingly, the group experience have been awesome, even with random selection for contemporary psych. I guess God have His mercy on me. ^^ Group counseling is good, although I felt that it should have been a lot more better.

Before I end, there are a few myths that I would like to debunk

1) Sex workers choose their 'profession' - they did not. Because of lack of education and the need to survive, they have no other alternative. Do you really think people enjoy having sex with anyone anytime?

2) Drug addicts are stupid and society's trash - they are not. they are pretty smart actually because if they want to, they can get what they want (drugs) by any means, without getting caught. Why else you think there are so many drug addicts out there? They are not society's trash. Many of them actually can contribute to the society, but very little people believe in people who have history of drug addicts. So what do they do? Nothing. Simply because people don't believe in them

3) People who don't believe in my religion will go to hell - ok, for this 1, i shall not say 'not true' because ultimately, I am not the one who makes the decision. But I do think God is merciful enough. Protestants (sorry if i am generalizing) love to quote this verse from the Bible to show that there's a clear distinction between them and others

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

From what i see, the Bible cannot be taken literally and the point to be taken here is what does it mean by 'unbelievers'? Protestants (Sorry if i am generalizing again) seems to take the word 'unbelievers' as those who are not protestants. but are all non protestants bad? If the answer is no, then the following words "for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common" does not make sense.

Then it comes to the question. Who are believers? Believe in what? Believers of course is to me believers in Jesus, but more importantly, what is Jesus? Jesus is love. God is love. And therefore believers in love and those who work towards spreading love are known as believers. Naturally, unbelievers would mean that they don't believe and don't spread love. Following this line of thought, then the second part of there verse now makes sense no?

In conclusion, i learnt a lot of things this sem. nice for me :) You might want to rethink of some of the things you believe in. If you reject certain things and believe in certain things, it might be time to re explore what are the rationale behind those thoughts and beliefs.

God Bless~

Life's Journey

2010-11-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

My time in HELP is going to end (Terence)

This is sad as I want more (Sharon)

Look forward to the future... the best is yet to be

Have a great future ahead

All the best in all you do (Charissa)

It may seemed like an end, but it really is just the start (Ser Li)

Fill up your future with your dream (Yi Wen)

It will be another start in my life

Perhaps I might just find a wife (Amanda)

And sacrifice my whole life (Terence)

Thinking about it is depressing (Sharon)

Look forward to the future with open arms

Not everything out there is bad

Marriage can't be that sad? (Charissa)

Just knowing that there will always be light at the end of the tunnel (Ser Li)

Go for the light, go for your dream (Yi Wen)

Kick all the obstacles away in the future

with God above, everything is pure (Amanda)

And in Him I have faith, faith to carry on (Terence)

This is the poem written in PSY 215. Not very poetic, but it's not too bad I suppose. Pretty meaningful when we have to complete each other sentences. Mine wasn't very funny, there were others who were funnier. lol.. but at least mine has got meaning ^^

God Bless~

Little Sisters of the Poor

2010-11-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

This semester, me and my group mates went to an old folks home to do our assignment for Group Process. The old folks home is the Little Sisters of the Poor and my my.. the home is dang nice. I want to go there when I am old and when nobody wants me. In order to get into the home, u need to be poor cause they only take in poor old folks. hahaha.. so go donate all your munney to charity and come in :p

We went there twice cause we did it pretty early. The first time we went was to help with their open day. So we helped out with whatever that we could like decorating and arranging things.

It's pretty isn't it? :p

The second time we went there was half for assignment and half for fun i suppose. XD this time, we went and helped out with playing bowling. They actually have real bowling balls and pins. So cool right? And it's tiring to be the 'machine' who picks up the pins. sweat like.. oink oink..

But all in all it was a really nice experience. At the end of the second visit, we walked around more and explored the area. There's a reflexology area where we walked on it. And then some smart person (who's the smart 1 ar? forgotten dy. XD) suggested we ran on it. and so we did and it was not a smart decision. I had aching soles for 2 and a half days.

Still, it was a nice trip. Thank you all for making this a success, Adrian, Cheryl, Sarah, John and not forgetting Cheah. Without all of you, it wouldn't have been this good.

God Bless all of you~

Birthday 2010

2010-11-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

I guess i should dedicate some time off from assignments to update my blog. :S been lazy to post up things these days. So this is the happenings for my birthday this year.

1) Outing to Klang for... celebration (Sat, 23rd October)

So first we went to a restaurant in Klang to eat baked crabs and lamb. My friends told me it was dang good. it was OK-LAH! XD the shop was packed with people and seems like it's really famous. almost every table got order baked crab

After dinner, we went to I-City, and I paid for the entrance fees. Fuiyoh i tell u, all of them were surprised that i said i will pay because i very cheapskate 1 normally. for me to pay is like waiting for rain to fall during drought.

There was nothing special inside actually. Just that the lights are pretty pretty and there's lots of people inside. We walked for a while, took some photos and it began to drizzle which made us leave the place. The photos aren't clear which is a waste. :x

Then we went to Station 1. they still refuse to go home. XDXD don't 1 to let me go right? :p So we went there and yum cha. I had a cake. awww so sweet of them. So there goes my lovely celebration with them.

2) LookoutPoint (Sun, 24th Oct)

Went to lookoutpoint and the weather was super nice. Was windy and cool up there. Awesome! I enjoyed the company, and the food. Thanks for the cake RACHEL! XD

Nice time catching up with friends who i don't see always. Chan hoe talked about his experience travelling, Suet and Kong got some juicy stuff to dig from. XD

3) 25th, Monday - I actually had another celebration with another person. But.. i shall just keep it to myself :)

A big thank you for everyone who celebrated my birthday with me. It's been a wonderful time spent with all of you. Jika ada apa-apa tersinggung, harap maaf zahir dan batin.

God Bless~

ARUPS 2010

2010-10-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

2 Oct 2010 - 3 Oct 2010

Finally ARUPS 2010 is over. Although I am still not very happy with the way things were planned and executed, I am very happy about the presentations that I have heard so far. It's really an eye opener and heartening experience to know that psychologists at the very core are still pretty good people (or at least people who come to conferences are).

Let's first say some of the things which I am unhappy about

1) THE VENUE CHANGE!! - i understand y they need to change the venue, but some insider told me that the committee knew a little bit earlier that the venue has to be changed. However, the committee didn't want to announce until like... 4 days before the conference. I was thinking WHY, but seems like this question is never going to be answered.

2) The seemingly last minute preparation - ok i have to give credit to those who did try their very best to organize ARUPS. I know it's a big conference, and it's not easy. But to me, it seems there are so many things being done last minute. helpers and volunteers are being recruited last minute. Schedule of presentations are changed. venue changed. and i was asked to be chairperson only during the very VERY last minute. I don't mind chairing. It's a great experience, just that i don't like it so last minute.

Also, i think it's really unfair that the helpers are treated as free labor. they need to pay, and they still need to work. not having the luxury of going to sessions that they wanted to. and the food is just.... poor!! I really pity them.

Now let's not delve on the negative side, and move on to the positive side. There is only one positive side to ARUPS, which are the presentations being done. So below are some presentations which i think are really heartening.

1) Novel Ways of Understanding the Mind - Dr. Robyn Young

So this presentation talks about autism and how her team of researchers managed to develop a scale to better diagnose autism in children younger than 12 months. It's really a great achievement because the earlier a child is being known, the earlier the intervention can be. And it's not really a diagnose per se, cause a children that young, you can't really know for sure whether he/she is autistic. But the special thing about this is that it assess some of the behavioral deficits, and instead of labeling the child as autistic, tries to improve those behavioral deficits. really cool!

2) Research on contemporary issues affecting youths in Malaysia - HELP lecturers (Dr. Hera, Dr. Albert and Dr. Anansuya)

Probably the most enjoyable out of all the presentations in ARUPS. It's good to know some of the research that is being done in Malaysia and what HELP's staff trying to do to make things better. Very nice

3) Economic Empowerment: Sustainable Support System for People with Learning Difficulties in Employment - Ms. Clarissa Chang

I chaired for this session, and it's really another very heartening presentation. Ms. Clarissa has been in the field for 20 years, advocating for people with learning difficulties. The things she does are just angelic la. It is said that nowadays, Giant no longer hire foreigners and they shift this quota to employing people with learning disabilities. Great right? That's hard work!

4) Promoting Children's Personal Strengths: Integrating Positive Psychology with Child Development.

Dr. Albert presented in this session, and the way he laughs is SO FARNEE. he sounds like he's asthmatic, but a happy one. XD So Dr. Albert constructed a scale to measure personal strength and in his session, he said that personal strength (or noncognitive ability XD) is equally important, if not more important to predict success in life. And yes, eventhough knowledge is important, being able to control and manage one's emotion and interpersonal skills definitely will bring a person a loooong way. if not, even with all the knowledge in the world, you would still end up in jail, simply because u cannot control your emotions and end up fighting with other people. lol

5) Stress Level, Life Regard and Coping Strategies of Wives with Alcoholic Husbands in Kartanaka, India: A basis for an Intervention Program - Ms. Judy Lewis

So Ms. Judy managed to find wives whom are married to alcoholic husbands (which treats them pretty badly like using verbal abuse) and measure all the things she wanted to, like meaning of life and stress level. After identifying those who have high stress level, and low meaning of life, she invented a logotherapy intervention. So these females at the end of the day manage to lower their stress level, and also mange to find more meaning in life. so cool huh?

Man, these people are the people who change the society around them. I want to be like them too! muahahaha.. it's good to see that there are advocates who are doing things to change society for the better. Often times, they work background and nobody recognizes them.

I guess i did chose a right course after all!

My supervisor Dr. Albert and me

God Bless~

Dreams

2010-09-06T02:36:00.001-07:00

06.09 2010

This morning i had some pretty, make that very, weird dreams... hahaha..

i remember dreaming about playing bejeweled blitz and then the gems just combo all the way by itself until the time is up.. so cool, and i remember my score being something like 555 000 or somewhere there.. lol.. funny

another strange weird dream was this. it's like a combination of ultraman, Bleach and Final fantasy. XD.. i don't really remember the beginning but me and some people were travelling in a car, and the car was like... fueling on reiatsu. and we were also moving on a dimension which is not earth la..

we were on our way to do some really big business, like killing a big boss or something, but it's really important la.. along the way, there were some big monsters wrecking havoc on buildings, but we didn't stop and kill the monsters because we were having this important mission at hand remember? lol..

and then there was this particular monster which looks like Ochu (in FF10) destroying buildings.. i don't know y i wasn't in the car then, but i saw Rachel Yong and told her. "Rachel, faster transform into Ultraman and defeat that monster." XDXD

She replied "Busy la". And she was busy mending her PORK STALL!!! How ridiculously funny. XDXDXD max! and the people there are still enjoying themselves to their meals.. like the monster isn't there or something.. chillax max.

OK so that's the dream part..

ugh.. sometimes i think i really am dumb for not taking advantage of situations.. why la why?? superego too big already la.. HAIH!

God Bless~

Experiential Learning

2010-09-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Finally semester starts again. This will be my last semester in my course. And I badly need good grades so that I can waive my PTPTN Loan. But all the subjects I am taking this sem are experiential learning, which means I will have to go for class (not that I don't) and participate as well. A lot of hands on experience. Let's see what are the subjects I am taking

Group Process: I will need to go through group counselling with a bunch of people. Probably talking about a lot of stuffs like grief, anger, healing. Oh.. I think this would be really cool. Also there's another assignment which we need to do, which is pretty tough. ugh..

Contemporary Issues in Psychology: yea i know the title sounds so.. uninformative right. what's contemporary issues? lol.. it's issues which people debate on in present time. like, gay marriages, differences in skin colour, clash of religious views and things like that. Pretty interesting and I guess we have to talk in class (a lot of talking) to voice out our opinion. It would be an informative i suppose.

Therapeutic Play: Yay, i guess this is the awesome-mess subject of all time. lol... i need to do assignments, by playing with children. How is this not cool right? but need pay quite a heavy sum of money to buy the toys.. but oh well, i guess it's fine :D

All these subjects will be an eye opener, and definitely increase my horizon on people, things and pattern of thoughts. i just hope i do well in all 3 subjects.

On a side note, it's really interesting to see people grow u know? it's probably one of the greatest joy one can have.

next challenge: ARUPS! :0

My niece. Cute ain't she? :D

God Bless~

Thoughts in my mind

2010-08-23T10:27:00.000-07:00

I initially didn't want to blog, but oh well, someone asked me to update my blog. XD So, this will be a random blog posting with no specific order. Just my thoughts on some of the things that I have been going through these few weeks.

1) I am so SO a thinker. I have been watching How I Met Your Mother, and boy, I think i am very much like Ted. I think i can relate to him pretty well. and Meng and Shyuan are like Marshall and Lily in the show. lol.. just that there's no Barney and Robin. Ted is a thinker as well. The problem with both of us is, we think too much. bad thing..

2) The other day, I went to UPM competition with Kepong people. My volleyball skills sucks big time. Aih.. and Chong Hwa school are dang good.. oh em gee, they look small and kiddo, and geek-o, but then they can play so well.. shame on me ><

3) As the year draws to an end, the realization that degree is coming to end is making me think about a lot of things. What will I be doing at this time of the year next year? Masters? Where? Will i get scholarship? What about WAT? i want to go so badly. What will i be doing before masters? Work? as what? urgh.. manyak pertanyaan di dalam kepalaku.

4) i think about so much stuff, even to the point of things like.. children upbringing and society's moral value. crazy right? I had always wanted children, but I am afraid of what will become of them because i don't really have the confidence to bring them up to be righteous upstanding citizen. kids nowadays are tiny monsters. :p from what i see with my own eyes, the world is bad. very bad. and it's getting worse :x the moral value is just.. down the drain man..

the other day, while i was tutoring my kiddo, we read this article which bears the title 'Mum's New Boyfriend'. When i read the title, i was like.. O.O the title implies 2 things

a) mum no longer with dad (for whatever reason)
b) and mum got a boyfriend (or a few boyfriends) before this 'current' 1.

and this article was in his English textbook. NOT COOL! but today, when i went tutoring, i got to see a video which captures what they were like when they were younger... and they were sOOOOOOO CUTE! the joy of parenting. i guess i will want to have kids after all. seeing people grow brings a lot of pleasure

5) Seeing people grow brings a lot of pleasure... i remember when i was in the Servers.. I joined while i was 14, and i helped train a lot of new servers. they were small and young then.. like 10 or 11 years old. Now they are big, tall and the moment i see it that way, i realized that time has passed by me. no more pinching their cheeks. no more touching their head. but seeing them grow, really makes me happy.

I guess I should be more of a do-er, cause nothing changes if i don't do. Merely thinking isn't going to complete things. And let's just appreciate the present

Love this photo Max!

God Bless~

Holiday Post no. 2

2010-08-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

31th July

So i lao sai like shit and i woke up at 4 o clock to lao sai again. walao low.. i am suppose to get a good night rest so that i can have enough energy to compete in competition, but no... 1 week of not enough sleep and i still have to go for competition.. hahaha.. woke up at 6, and bathed and went out.. Aevent fetched me to tarc for masiswa and i lao sai like 3 times in tarc ok.. aiseh.. suffering..

we were in group B, and we went against IPB, UniKL and another 1 i forgot name. we didn't do very well. although we still manage to get into semis... initial plan was to be group leader, but lost out to unikl in rubber game.. aiks ><

because of that, we went against group A's leader, tar college. no need to say, kena sapu lo.. but that time all already tired shit.. i also like want to faint.. all that entered my stomach was a bread in the morning, and 2 doughnuts.. lao sai lao sai.. :x

went home and it was drizzling, and there was jam.. dang! i wanted to reach home early to go to church, but reach home late because of the jam jam jam jam.. manage to go to church still, but late lor ><

so we played for 3rd 4th placing the following day..

1st August

woke up at 7.20, before my alarm and Aevent was supposed to fetch me.. he asked me to gave morning call and i did.. for like.. a whole 10 minutes.. no answer.. i go bath and then called him again.. still no answer.. gg.com... then told my dad i will be driving there myself..

drove there myself, and wa la.. we only have 6 players ngam ngam.. but out of the 6, 1 went for ping pong. so need to wait for him... initially we thought we will lost by walk away, since opponent already there, and we don't have enough players on court.. but managed to make it la..

Shin rushed to court after ping pong and then we were told referee belum sampai. sweat max!! waited for the finals to finish, only play 3rd 4th placing.. lol.. went against apiit and we lost in rubber game.. sien ><

oh there were 3 funny part during the game.. lol..

first was when a girl asked us to take a group photo and as reward, we were being given free red bull. so Giap said that we can take the photos now, but later only give us the red bull.. and the girl said.. oh no no.. we need to take the photos together with the red bull. then only we realized.. we need to be 'ambassadors' for the red bull.. lol.. model sial.. XDXD

second funny thing.. i forgotten to bring my shoe for competition.. XD.. rushing to get out cause i was driving remember? lol.. and i forgotten to bring my shoe along.. hahahaha.. just when i was about to warm up.. i was like "SHIT!!! I DIDN'T BRING MY SHOE!!!!!" and i thought i was going into court kaki ayam.. Giap grab me and said "yuan lai zui da pai de shi ni. lian sie zi dou mei you dai lai" (translated as: seems like you are the 'biggest'. shoe also didn't bring). good thing shin got another pair of shoe.. fuiyoh.. *wipe sweat from forehead* thanks Shin!

third funny thing was Meng. there was once he served, and he taught the ball didn't pass the net and he said 'oh fuck' so loudly that i could hear it.. i bet the referees heard it as well.. XD good thing they didn't blow the whistle.. lol..

played only 1 match but eat 3 ball biscuit.. yesterday played 4 matches, and didn't eat any ball biscuit (excluding the 1 weifen slapped me with lol)

and the game point for the rubber set, i was serving... walao low.. so scared i will repeat mapcu mistake.. good thing my serving pass.. hahaha..

after the match, went for lunch with rachel and friends at yong tau fu. and then went drink tong sui at leisure mall until 3.30.. after that, came back, and went for volleyball again at mpaj.. after that went back and ate dinner, bath and went out to teach Ziwin.

wah really marathon for 1 week. now finally i can settle down for a bit..

God Bless~

Holiday Post no. 1

2010-08-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Finally i am able to enjoy my holiday... sleep, eat, watch tv, and then sleep again.. nice nice.. after a marathon of busy-ness for 1 week..

25th July till 27th July - St. Anne's Feast

went to penang to celebrate St. Anne's Feast (fyi, she's Jesus' grandmother) and this year celebration was less crowded.. probably there's another big feast on the saturday after we went. for the 2 days, pondered upon sickness, death, life and love. hahaha.. made me understood (or more like accepting) something really important in life. didn't get good night sleep as we can't really control the air cond temperature..

back on 27th and on 28th.. dong dong dong (learn from yean may :p)

28th - 30th - Penang trip (again)

so after coming back from penang on the 27th, on the 28th went back to penang with friends. stopped at ipoh to eat late lunch, and then went hunting for dinner.. and we ate at the ship. :p nothing much to elaborate except for the fact that on the last day, after eating hor fun at ipoh, i lao sai like shit.. and this story will bring us to holiday post no 2.

God Bless~

Parallel world?

2010-07-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

27th August 2010

This morning i dreamt of something crazily amazing.. or amazingly crazy. i dreamt that i was somewhere in this place.. and everything was normal until i was going to sleep... and my left eye was hurting pretty badly

then i rub rub, but to no avail... then my dad came and asked me to look at him and i did... he slowly moved his head downwards, and my head moved downwards together with his head... just as my head was looking 90 degrees below, my dad pushed my head downwards strongly..

and it was then that i had this crazy experience.

it feels as if my soul was disconnected from my physical being and was sucked downwards.. my soul continued going down, passing through a chasm and then there was another me on the bed, (while this was happening, i had a third person view) where finally my soul 'connects' back with my physical self (this is another self... seems as if my soul just past through the chasm into another world.. another parallel world). and the feeling of my soul connected with my physical being is sooo SOOOO REAL! when that happened, it seems as if everything was in sync. it's like the hook found it's perfect match..

and i was physically feeling this because i was half awake when the soul 'connected' with my body. half dreaming, half awake, but i can clearly feel the 'connectivity'. i awoke seconds later to make sure i am still sane.

i know it's hard to understand.. but anyway, i am still sane.. yay! as for whether i am now in a parallel world, well who knows right?

God Bless~

In and outside happenings

2010-07-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

I would like to take some time to discuss about some happenings which seem to interest me. I got the materials while reading newspaper today, so let's begin

1) All students who scores 9A+ in SPM will be given scholarship regardless of background. Yay! that's a really great news for students. I am wondering though where do they get so much money from? Regardless, it's good because of it's long term investment and should be applauded. But regarding the lessening PSD overseas scholarships, it's a bad call. Boo-hoo.

2) Abolishment of UPSR and PMR - ridiculous idea if u ask me.

3) Sports a compulsory to enter public university - Yay! another good call eventhough some (or many) students will swear at the government. i don't need to elaborate on the benefits of exercising here do i? but the government must look at the facilities being provided. with the awesome weather we have here in malaysia, it is crucial for them to build more INDOOR sports facilities so that students can continue exercising come rain or shine. and of course qualified teachers or coaches. yes.. i can see the rise of new young volleyball-ers. XD

4) There's news that porn star Bobbi Eden (you must give credit to this person XD) will give oral sex to all her twitter followers if Holland wins the world cup. she started with 3000+ followers then, but now it seems she has approximately 90000+ followers. I really wonder how she is going to complete the ordeal. XD on another note, guys are so realistic aren't they? XDXD

5) The main story of this post would be this: Premarital sex

Many recent stories regarding dumping of babies forced the government and media to pay more attention to the issue of premarital sex and unwanted pregnancy. Where previously it was behind closed doors, hush hush discussions, now it's open in the public simply because it no longer can be contained.

Fact 1: children are getting sexually mature at a younger age

Fact 2: they are having sex regardless of whether people want to admit it or not

Fact 3: they are enjoying it.

Fact 4: they don't know how to protect themselves as it is proven by baby dumping

now here comes the tough part. are we as a society going to tackle premarital sex, or just tackling the issue of unwanted pregnancy? is it owhkay to be having sex as long as there's protection? the debate between abstinence and safe sex.

who am i to say that no one should have sex before marriage? if it's consensual, y not? it's not like they burn house or hurt other people right? and if it's safe sex, then there should be no reason for objection i guess. of course there's the law, where males will get charged for statutory rape, but nobody really follows since so many people are having sex. and of course, they might hurt their parents' feelings but.. if it's a secret, then no problem right?

from a psychologist point of view, unwanted pregnancy is the problem of premarital sex. if there's no unwanted pregnancy, then all's good. cause we need to be aware that sex is a component of healthy living. AND ironically, it's when we are at the peak of sexuality (teenagers years) that society condemn the act of premarital sex so much. however, there are also setbacks la like being addicted to it. psychology isn't really a clear cut field.

where and how does religion come into the picture? How are religions going to change according to time? yet to see la.

but i personally would choose sex after marriage. Let me list out some of the reasons why.

1) sex is sacred - ok.. i know this is lame. but for me it's real. if you have sex with every tom, dick and harry, then what's so special about it anymore? might as well have sex with every kitten, dogs and gorillas right? to really enjoy it, there should be a period of abstinence. Like how Muslims go through the puasa month before Hari Raya and how Catholics go through Lent before Easter.

2) mental preparation is important too - besides physical maturation, mental and emotional maturation is very important too. our brains are still developing until the our late 20's and so physically mature doesn't equate to mental maturity.

3) the issue of how safe is safe - safe sex is not sperm proof ok. eventhough the possibility might be significantly reduced, there is still possibility. in almost all species, the objective of intercourse is to have offsprings. of course sex is pleasurable, but we should always be mindful that when we have sex, we might sow seeds, intentionally or unintentionally. and when we have sowed, we should be grateful instead of being filled with remorse. that's y premarital sex is always a gamble. best bet? abstinence la of course.

Ok.. so that's all for my happenings report.

I think i am suffering from low self esteem la. ish. am i a moodle? :x

God Bless~

MAPCU 2010

2010-07-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

3 July 2010

My last MAPCU probably. and i screwed it up. at the last minute some more. Walao LOW! aiks, learn to much from bobo dy.. all the low coming out.

First match was against Masterskills and we manage to pass the first hurdle. Then came Segi, and we lost after playing for 3 sets. That means we can only win the next match, to proceed to semis. The next opponent is Taylors and we also managed to pass this hurdle.

Since we were runner up for our group, we need to play against the champion of the other group, which is UCSI. We lost the first set. and won the second set.. and we played so hard in the third set. Marks were neck to neck. and then aih.. me la me la.. my fault. LOW!

honestly speaking, i think my form has never been better than today. so much so that i am surprised myself. why la last ball.. memalukan.. Giap is definitely our MVP la. lol.. super libero who can spike open. XD now in hospital lo.. hahahaha.. hope he gets well soon.

Last MAPCU, just like that.

God Bless~

Sweet funny dreams

2010-05-29T07:07:00.001-07:00

May 29th 2010

Lol.. today i dreamt about so many people.. let's start with the first 1. this dream was in the morning.. i remember that i was in a classroom.. the small classroom in secondary school.. and there were few people i recognize like Rahul, Jamil and Fairuz. lol.. we were doing some stuffs la..

and then the teacher came in.. and i was acting all ketua darjah-ish and said "BANGUN SEMUA. SELAMAT SEJAHTERA CIKGU" XDXDXD.. it's been years since i hear that phrase.. ROFL. really sweet dream.

Then i had a nap in the afternoon and this dream was even more crazy.. more characters.. lol.. from what i remember, it started like this..

i was at the garden inside a house.. and there was this tent on the garden.. i was playing with some people.. one of them being Anson Tan (Anson.. dreamt about u dy la.. happy not? :p). in this tent, was the maid.. and the maid's husband i think.. or at least they are foreigners.. both of them were enjoying their evening tea i suppose..

so after playing... i went into this so called tent with anson, and then the maid went off, but the husband stayed there.. this tent then suddenly became like a transport and transported me to this hotel.. where ai li was there. XD another person was there but i don't remember who.. i started to talk to ai li about her US trip and how it went about..

then i don't know how but candice came into the picture.. she said something like her family was waiting for us for dinner (we were in a hotel remember?) and said the family was waiting somewhere la... then Shawn and me went together with her for the dinner..

halfway walking to the restaurant.. somehow along the way, candice was no longer in the picture and me and shawn were walking in the compound of some sort of school. it's not really a school either, but then i don't know how to put it.. then lots of people came into the picture like mun kiat, zheng zoe, sook yeen, suet lai and wai shin. XD

we walked to the badminton court to ask whether there are still courts available and yes there is.. but then we didn't play because our attire was not sports attire.. then we walked back out, and saw a few people getting ready to play volleyball.. i was saying we should go play with them, and then this one dude from the other team (a total stranger to us) came behind shawn and started fanning shawn's butt. XDXD

he fan 1 time, shawn ran... fan another time, shawn ran somemore.. hahaha.. the guy chased after shawn and shawn ran.. when we finally got out of the building, shawn was tired and he leaned on me and i held his hand.. then zoe and wai shin took out camera and started to snap our photos, cause we held onto each other like couple.. all kan chan kan chan. XD

ah.. but it was a funny dream.. SWEET FUNNY DREAMS.

God Bless~

Innocence

2010-05-28T02:18:00.000-07:00

28th May 2010

Something is making my mind unsettled. Very unsettled actually. It's pretty scary how someone u know changed so dramatically to someone u never knew would become. i'm not going to put a value on whether it's good or bad, but it's rather suprising. so unexpected. probably more so when the things that i see appealing about this person is no longer visible to me due to the transformation. here's the million dollar question. Why should i care? it's not my life.

the million dollar answer? :)

i guess i should let people live as how they want. it's their life at the end of the day, not mine. I am at no position to impose what i think. nor can i say that my beliefs are right.

All i can hope for, is that people stay true to themselves while pursuing goals and dreams in life.

"Do not lose the innocence in you, for once you do, you lose yourself"

God Bless~

Worries, thoughts, and rumination

2010-05-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hmm... as one gets older, i guess one gets more worries. more things to think about. more things to consider. and more things to ruminate on. not a very good thing actually :x

Some of the things i am ruminating/thingking/worried about

1) Postgrad education - what to study? don't know... where to study? don't know.. where to get the money? don't know.. hopefully can get scholarship.. but then if no first class honours how? chance of getting scholarship becomes slimmer. will i get first class honours? very hard :x am i worried? YEAP.. DEFINITELY!!

2) Life - whoah.. big, DDEEEEPPP word. when graduation comes nearer, i can't help but think where my life is going. almost endless option of what to do and where to head next. i want to go out and see the world. do things which i can only do now when i am still young. like climb Mount KK, go travelling around some parts of the world. experience things, but sadly no money no talk. which comes to my third thing to ruminate

3) Money - money makes the world spin. ok not literally but if u think of it, it really does. without money, one can do almost nothing. unless we plant our own vege, and rear our own chicken and fishes. we need money to survive, and to fulfill the 2 stuff above, i defintely need a large sum of money. Education don't come FOC. neither do experiencing things and travelling. i am starting to value money i guess, since i know how fast money can be 'burned'. go out once, will need use approximately 20 bucks minimum. want to do stuff, but no money. how? go earn money lo..

and i think i am falling into this spiral of earning money > spending money > earning money > to spend more money. slowly pushing me towards a more materialistic world. and i don't 1 to be materialistic. hmm.. :x this is bad, this is bad. i don't 1 money to be my main motivation. ><

........ how eh?

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

God Bless~

Bukit Tak Tau

2010-05-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

22 May 2010

Since i am only taking 1 sub this sem, i am still pretty free. i consider myself still in holidays (cause i practically am la) out of 7 days in a week, i only need to go once to college. lol.. so what do i do at home? STONE and plan outings. XDXD

Went hiking at Bukit tak tau (we really don't know what's the name of the hill, hence the tak tau) at 7.30 with Suet, Kong, Mun Kiat and Suet's bro (called ah boi) XD

the journey up was owhkay la.. not very tough, but still a little bit tiring.

at the first stop :D

view from above

after that, we went further in and reached what is known as Guiness top

and it's so cool.. there are so many equipments here for exercise (like this sandbag).. lol.. saga hill also don't have such things.. XDXD

the wind here is really cooling ^^ awesome posem.. definitely going again sometime soon i hope. :D

God Bless~

A little update

2010-05-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

In one of my previous posts titled 'Stagnation' i did say about what are something that i am going to do. And yesh, i am doing 2 of the 3 things now.

ARUPS - abstract submission has been accepted and i will be presenting. whee.. good opportunity to get links i guess. lol.. time for some socializing? :x

Home tuition - am giving home tuition as well. and i tell u, the kiddos are naughty. especially the little girl ><

VVBC - haven't yet la.. still resting my knee

Other updates

1) Results was good. But, aih, probably not good enough. roar
2) The trip to lumut canceled.. BOO HOO! BODOH!! dissapointed shit ><
3) tomorrow am going to klcc for the postgrad edu fair. I see myself finishing masters. working and getting big bucks, getting married, having kids and dying. lol.. but at least it's a plan right? XD

God Bless~

How will i die?

2010-05-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

12th May 2010

This morning i had a few strange dreams. Let's start with the first 1

Dream 1

I was driving down from Lookout Point and at the first corner, i was supposed to turn left, but the car skided to the right, rammed onto the divider and fell off the cliff. and i vividly remember the feeling of free-falling in the dream. the car front was facing the ground, and i can see the sharp stones glaring at me... the feeling of falling and looking at the place u are going to land is pretty scary and interesting. :x and i remember this very clearly.. while falling i think to myself 'is this the way i am going to die?' the feeling was so real.. exciting shit. XD

the car did landed, but it didn't land so nastily la.. i didn't manage to die after all. and then the next thing i remember was that i was bragging to people about how i didn't die from the accident.. what a joke.. XD

after that i was in a shopping complex, and i guess i was going somewhere, not sure where. i was holding a rose and then walk walk, i saw Yean May.. lol.. the rose was supposed to be given to someone else i suppose, cause i didn't plan on giving it to May, but since i didn't manage to give the rose to that someone, i ended up giving Yean May XD

Dream 2

i was in a lalaland somewhere. the place seems like a hotel, but they got fast food restaurant, and also theme park at the same place. o.O anyway.. i was eating with evie i think, and there was Suk Pei there also. we talked a bit about badminton, and then she went to sit the thrill ride. then after that i also went to sit on the ride, and saw someone familiar from foundation.. well he obviously remembers me, but i vaguely remember him :x there are some other things with the dream, but don't really remember. just that the place was really pretty nice.. all in white..

Dream 3

haha.. this is a strange 1.. i dreamt that 3 students (including me) were in a bedroom and ms. WC was teaching in the room. :x what she teached.. i don't really remember. just remember the setting which is in a bedroom. and all three of us were lying on the bed while she was talking ROFL.

So many strange dream in 1 day.. side effect of consuming too much seafood? lol.. i especially like the dream where i am going to die. so cute.. how often people get such dreams right? XD

God Bless~

Police shooting?

2010-05-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks, the death of a certain teenager made public uproar because he was shot dead by police, and he's a minor. The police is now being charged over this incident and well, that's that. Because of this incident, the issue of police shooting became rife. And i guess the million dollar question in everybody's mind is 'do police officers really simply shoot people?'

well i don't have the answer to the question but shouldn't police be given some form of power to exercise? it was dark, they were speeding, not to mention the driver had no licence, and they didn't stop when asked to. aren't they/him were the people at fault? owhkay, maybe the police shooting is a bit extreme, but let's imagine for a while the police didn't shoot the dude.. let's imagine what would happen

they were speeding to escape police and if the shooting didn't occur, they probably would knock onto another person, a tree, a car, a motorbike or whatever, and the life of another is gone or maybe their lives are gone.

if that didn't happen then maybe they got so excited about managing to escape from the police that they attempt to do it again.. and this time maybe the above would happen.

then what? blame the police for not stopping them the first time it happened? or for not 'being there' when future accident happen? see how it goes? whatever it is, it seems that the police are to blame, simply because when things like this happen, people need to blame on people, because they need to find someone to take the fault, which is really sad. y not take some time and reflect on why in the first place such an incident could have occured?

or probably.. probably they would got so scared that they will not try to do it ever again. which i really hope would happen to lots of mat rempits, but i guess they prove me wrong la..

whatever the possibility is, we wouldn't know, but what is certain is that the dudes are at fault first. is the shooting justified? idk cause i don't know the real situation. both parties are saying different things from the same incident.. :x

another pretty funny incident to me was another police shooting which happened in seremban. the police shot a teen in the stomach for riding a motorbike without licence and failing to stop after being asked several times.

the shooting is not the funny thing.. the funny thing is what the father said in interview...

"although my son does not have a valid licence, the cop should not have opened fire. My son sat for the test once but did not pass. In fact, he was planning to sit for another one."

"he also described his eldest son as an obedient child and hoped that the incident would not affect his preparations for SPM this year" (quoted from The Star newspaper)

Does not have a valid licence means no licence. Went for test and fail, means it's a fail. planning to sit for another test means it hasn't happen yet. in what circumstances should the teen be given permission to drive the motorbike? at 3.30 AM?? owhkay probably the dad don't know that his son is like that.. but giving such statement is a little bit... weird.. owhkay, maybe he was right on the 'should not have opened fire' part but what about his son not stopping when asked to?

and the part regarding the 'obedient child'. hahaha.. obedient to what? the father? the law? cause i don't see any obedience here. and he's sitting SPM this year.. what is he doing on the road at 3.30am driving a motorbike without licence and don't want to stop when police ask to?

idk.. u tell me.

God Bless~

Love Phobia

2010-05-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Today while doing some work for Dr. Albert, i got bored and started to look for movies to watch. XD

so while going through the list of movies available, i stumbled across a korean movie titled 'Love Phobia' ('domabaem' in korean which translates to 'the lizard') and i thought 'hey.. this movie should suit me' XD

so i watched it on youtube and it started really good.. the starting soundtrack was really really cute.. the movie started good, got boring in the middle and only picked up the pace at the end. It got so good at the end cause everything started to make sense. it's a really good movie, how they manage to bring out the story and meaning only at the end. If the middle of the movie could be more interesting, it would be an AWESOME movie.. not that it isn't awesome now. :p

Oh the little girl who acted inside the movie is SUPER SUPER SUPER SO SO SO CUTE!!! This is her photo

Highly recommended. For those who likes typical love story, maybe this movie is not suitable. lol..

God Bless~

Stagnation

2010-05-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life, u come to a point where u think about what is the meaning of life. where u are going, and what are u doing right now. Meng said the other day that his life is at a stagnation point, where life is so.. mundane.. in and out do the same stuff and it seems like it's getting no where.

to me, stagnation is a good thing. it's a good thing because it proves that we have managed to achieve a certain level at something... that we are so used to it that it no longer becomes a challenge. so when life is stagnant, then what do we do? we do other things, bigger things, better things, greater things to improve and challenge what we can do.

direction in life does not mean only 1 path. it could be taking different paths, and arriving at the same point. or maybe at some point in life, we realize that the destination might have changed, and therefore the paths taken have to change as well.

that's the reason i took up psychology of film this sem. to see what i can do, something outside of the normal theoretical class. my life is pretty stagnated as well.. for now.. some of the things which is breaking my stagnation in life would be

1) ARUPS Conference presentation - ngek ngek.. i think i going to present in ARUPS. They say i will be notified IF my abstract is shortlisted.. XD

2) home tuition - one of my friend asked whether i wanted to do home tuition for this kiddo. and i said yes.. hopefully i can get the job.. see how it's like to teach kiddo.. and the pay is not bad too i think ^^

3) VVBC - kar wai the other day asked me whether i would want to go over to VVBC and play volleyball with them.. hehehe.. i guess it's a good opportunity to take my volleyball life a step higher as this would probably be a long term thing. After all, i would be graduating from Uni soon. so i can't play any longer for college then..

so if life is stagnated, what do u do? go do something different. do something bigger, better, greater, higher, and more meaningful, like touching other people's life... participate in cleaning activities, charities etc.

Life is not just about ourselves. It's about US

God Bless~

The Dark Knight

2010-04-30T08:42:00.000-07:00

Yea i know it's a super late post to talk about the dark knight.. but i finally manage to watch the show, after wanting so long to watch it.. credits to Weng Sing for transfering the show to me. ^^

It's a really interesting story. Besides the really joker portrayal of the joker, i like how he manages to capture and bring out the evil side of human. to see how fragile all of us are.. we might say we are good people, with good intentions, pure thoughts and kind behavior, but when it gets down to surviving, do we really give a shit about what we do to other people in order to survive?

the people of Gotham wants Batman to come out and unmask himself, not because he needs to, but because they are scared.

the D.A turned evil after seeing his love being exploded..

the people on the ship wanted to blow each other off.. and suprisingly, the criminals, the convicts, were the one who made up their mind not to blow the other ship. the ship with the ordinary citizens on the other hand wanted to blow up the other ship so badly because they thought that they deserve it. they thought that the criminals deserves to die, not them. eventhough both didn't blew up each other, but it sheds light on how people can make decisions when it comes down to life and death.

it shows that truth and justice is not black and white. it shows how some people can be criminal, and at the same time hero. talking about hero, there is actually very little research in psychology regarding the psychology of heroism. How strange could this be huh? Imagine this... if psychologist know what makes or shapes someone to be more heroic, then psychologist could probably coach more heroes out onto the street. psychology have tons of research on why people don't do stuff they should, like the diffusion of responsibility in Kitty Genovese case, but not much about what would spur someone to be heroic.

Zimbardo stated that these 2 criterias made someone to be qualified as a hero:
a) an active behavior (acts upon something, not just think about it)
b) for someone else (not egocentric, but people centered)

If these 2 can be cultivated in people, probably the streets will be more safe, where people are willing to help each other out. And not just being passive when something happens. But i am willing to admit, i think when something goes wrong, i would probably stone, rather than acting hero. :x

God Bless~

Dreams, dreams, dreams

2010-04-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

On 27th April 2010, i dreamt something really interesting. Am not going to say what it is.. but it proves that my superego is still pretty strong even when i am dreaming. :x

Today i had 2 interesting dreams. First was in the morning, and then in the evening.. let's start with the morning 1

I remember that my sister sorta kinda caught/have 2 really really big snakes.. erm.. they said they going to spay insecticide onto both of them to make them sleep, and then i forgotten what they wanted to do with it. anyway.. they didn't sprayed the snakes for whatever reason.. they placed the snakes in their room..

then i dreamt that wei kang and another person came into my room. (yes i know it's weird i dreamt about him.. :x) anyway.. he was like always.. acting cool but he is warm la.. then my lil sis brought in the 2 snakes from her room into my room, and someone actually knocked onto the snakes.. i think the person who knocked into the snakes is aaron chow. XD (dang lots of characters in my dream)

then my lil sis got shocked and sorta threw the snakes onto the floor, and the snakes were aggitated. then the snakes fought with each other and then someone dear to me was kinda sacrificed in the battle.. like.. collateral damage. :x

then i think i woke up..

another dream was when i slept this afternoon.. i dreamt that i was like in a game, playing the game or watching the game being played out. It's actually pretty cool, like i was a pirate and need to steal the treasure.. something like that, and it's cool. i don't know how to express the pictures in my head, but it's nice la. :p

it's holiday.. got time to sleep, stone and... stone..

God Bless~

Y lad and lass don't communicate well

2010-04-24T08:52:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer: This post will be gender biased. XD

I think i finally can explain y lad and lass don't communicate well together. Because lass break the maxim of cooperative conversation. XD Grice proposed that there are four maxims to cooperative communication which are:

a) Maxim of quantity - information should be at the quantity required. E.g. when people ask what u eat, saying chicken rice is appropriate. U don't say something which has too little information like 'food' or too much like 'rice cooked with chicken stock and with roast chicken'

b) Maxim of quality - we try and say things which are true and we don't say things we believe to be false. Self explanatory

c) Maxim of relation - should be relevant. If i ask where to go eat, u don't answer let's go shopping.

d) Maxim or manner - avoid ambiguity. Be clear, brief and orderly.

Well generally i think sometimes it's hard talking to girls or to understand what they really mean when they say things (this coming from a lad's perspective, as i said so in my disclaimer, it's gender biased)

Consider these 2 situations

Situation A

Lad: Hey, what do u want to eat today?
Lass: Anything lah
Lad: Owhkay, so let's go eat... mamak
Lass: Mamak again?
Lad: ok ok .. how about wantan mee?
Lass: Don't 1.
Lad: then u got any idea?
Lass: Anything lah

See, in this situation, the lass violated maxim or quantity, quality and manner. 'Anything lah' doesn't mean anything lah. It means u have to sorta kinda guess correctly what she wants. At this point, most guys, like myself, would be at a total lost on what to do. According to Grice, people would want to end conversation with people who violates maxims, well because u don't know what to or how to answer them back.

Situation B

Lass: Dear, tonight i have to go to my friend's party. Would you want to come along?
Lad: Sorry dear, tonight i promised my friends that we will be going *somewhere*
Lass: FINE!
Lad: Don't angry lah. I already promised them beforehand.
Lass: I AM NOT ANGRY!

'Fine' is a very fine word to be used by lass. it usually doesn't mean 'fine' at all, especially when said with a high pitch voice. :x the last sentence is hard to interpret, because the nonverbal and verbal is incongruent. Here, violation of maxim of quality (lass say not angry when they are) and violation of maxim of manner (ambiguity) is occuring. Often times, this leaves the guy very 'mao dun'. Don't know what to do. Should the lad trust her and therefore don't comfort her? or should he comfort her, which the assumption is that she is not telling the truth? should she be left alone or not? :x

As stated earlier, violation of maxims will lead other people to avoid conversation, and when guys violate maxims, that's what they are trying to achieve. Typically. They want to be left alone, because they know they are not in good mood. Girls on the other hand is more puzzling. Violation can sometimes signal wanting to end conversation, or could signal for more attention.

Seemingly, girls have better understanding of how to understand violation of maxims between themselves. Probably if these can be analyzed, and then taught to guys, there probably would be less argument between both genders. Of course, learning the violation of maxims by guys and then teaching girls will be great as well.

God Bless~

The Lucifer Effect

2010-04-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time for some update.

Last 2 days, i watched the lecture (on youtube) given by Zimbardo (yes the infamous dude who did the Stanford prison experiment) on why people do evil things. And his lecture is astounding. I mean, his way of talking is normal, not really astounding, but what is astounding is how he thinks and make his points clear. He coined the term The Lucifer Effect to symbolize how one person who is seemingly good capable of doing bad things.

His lecture is very insightful on why humans can do such attrocities towards other people, drawing from many many research, and real world examples. Got good internal and external validity. :) and it's really scary how people are capable to do such evil things to other people INTENTIONALLY.

really interesting. go watch.

have been pretty busy these few days with exams and thesis defence. Thesis defence was owhkay i suppose. should start at 3 pm, but i came out at 2.59. XD not many questions asked, i think only 2 questions. And my supervisor asked me whether i considered presenting in ARUPS.

exam on the other hand is owhkay too i suppose. aiseh, for PSY 303, everyone came out saying gg.com. So i guess, when viewed that way, i am not that bad gua.. lol.. self comforting thoughts. for PSY 317, i think owhkay also la. can do, but don't know can ace not. :x Liggy posted in her blog asking students not to take this subject. XD i think this subject quite fun ler.. u know beforehand what are the questions wo.. not good enough? lol..

isn't it funny how intrusive thoughts keep on coming in when u are trying to study for finals? hahaha.. it comes especially frequent during important crucial moments. isn't it funny how different we are? and yet, and yet, i still have this stupid cognition and affect. i don't even know how to rationalize or intellectualize it. a little bit too hard to comprehend. :x

ok time for cognitive and then holiday ^^

God Bless~

Acting career? XD

2010-04-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

After our movie was shown in class, i got some feedbacks regarding the movie. Generally the feedback was positive, and i am actually pretty suprised by how little Goh commented on our movie. Besides saying that the basketball scenes were not easy to be shot, i don't remember him saying anything else.. but for most of the other groups, he have tons of comments. i wonder y :x but i am more concerned about how i did in the movie itself, my potrayal of the character in the movie.

alot of the movies being shown took a more minimalist approach where not much is being said, not much is being portrayed by the actors. like i have said, sam's group was one of those. because they themselves are not acting, the burden of wanting to put across the message they intend to does not fall on them. even for those who acted, many took the approach where not much is said. messages are done by writing, like elaine's and timothy's group, drawn, like pebbles, and total silence like sufino's group.

not many take the approach of saying lots of things, probably because it's not easy to memorize the script, and even if it's memorized, i guess it's really not easy to say it out normally and to make it congruent with one's body language. how do i know? because i am in that situation. some groups take the risk like canky's group, and wen fei's group.

it really is not easy to act. no wait.. let me rephrase, it is not easy to act nicely. when doing the film, one of my biggest concern was that i would fail to portray the character effectively, therefore ruining the movie. i have to say and make those things that i say in line with my own body language, while having this anxiety that i wouldn't be able to do well enough, and it's very hard actually. and that is the challenging part of the movie according to my own personal bias. This also applies to other groups who did lots of real time dialogues (not sounds which are recorded and then played accordingly afterwards)

i was pretty depressed over my own acting because i thought (or rather i know) i did a very bad job at some scenes. after the film was edited, i was pretty suprised because it turned out to be fine rather than devastating. after the movie was played, many people came to me and said that my acting was 'real'. real here doesn't mean good. it means real, where according to them, the way i speak in real life and in the movie is the same and therefore the portrayal is pretty realistic reflection of me. i am very happy to hear these positive comments, but what made me happier is the fact that i managed to portray the character effectively. and i guess that's all that matters

until this very end, i would like to extend my thanks to mr. director-cum-cameraman-cum-editor, Mr. Yap.

God Bless~

Feedbacks, feedbacks, feedbacks

2010-04-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

Ah finally, all the short films are shown in class already. After watching all the films being made by us, i am actually very proud of what the whole class have to offer in terms of cinematography, scripts, dialogues, acting and how to use different methods to tell their story. i really think some of these films should be sent to compete in Malaysia's Best Short Film award (if there is such a category).. below are some of the movies which i will talk about (for those whom i didn't talk about, don't la be sad k XD) and some of my thoughts on them

1) 50 people 1 question - to me this is a pretty nice short film. it is suitable to be a short film, nice, sweet, short, very meaningful and i think it's pretty professionally done. i love it :D only thing is that it probably lacks originality as the idea came from somewhere else, and also it probably is a shortcut out. it's because they don't have to act out what they want to portray, because it's a documentary, everything inside is real. no acting, no script, interview like 70 people and pick out the best ones.

short cut in a sense that they need not worry about the message not being able to be conveyed successfully, because it definitely will. having said that, i know it's VERY HARD to find people to actually volunteer to be shot. so they have to work hard there to gather enough people for them to compile the movie. NICE MOVIE!

2) Sufino's group - i think not many people like the movie, but i think it's an awesome piece really. nothing is said, but messages are slowly, subtly, and certainly put across throughout the movie. the concept is pretty similar to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind where certain scenes are played here and there, and it is only at the end that everything comes as a whole. it is only then that meaning starts to come alive as connections between scenes can be made.

3) Pebbles - the idea of using drawing pictures to illustrate the movie is simply fantastic. Smart ass idea and the drawing was really cool.

All other movies have their own strengths as well la.. like how Canky's group can do the argument so effortlessly. XD

in general, i am very suprised at how grim the messages in our movie can be. most of the themes in our movie revolves around pessimistic side of life like death, suicide, homosexuality, bullying, discrimination etc. and the themes are pretty repetitive in a sense that more than 1 group do the same thing. it's scary how psychology students think alike. jaded with life? or seeing life as it is? :x

Great job everyone

God Bless~

Awakenings

2010-04-11T01:23:00.001-07:00

Just finished watching this movie and it's a beautiful BEEEEAAAAUUUTIFUUUL movie. I just feel so much emotions while watching the movie. Make us wonder what life is all about and I love so many things inside the movie.

I love the messages that is in the movie, I love how Robin Williams managed to portray his character so nicely (i can relate to him), i love how the issue of life is being tackled, I love everything the movie has to offer. Definitely a very good movie, and in my opinion, it's even better than Good Will Hunting, which i love a lot as well.

The story talks about Dr. Sayer, a researcher who is trying to find a new job in this hospital, a chronic hospital they call it. It is where people who have mental illness gets place, something like a mental institution. Dr. Sayer has never been involved in any interaction with human as long as his career is concerned because he is a researcher before this. But taking up this job forced him to deal with people.

He then found out that catatonic patients there have response towards certain stimulus and that sparked his interest in trying to find a cure. He managed to find the 'cure' and for a while, the patients awake from their vegetative state.

Leonard, was his first success and I especially love what he told Leonard regarding humans.
As he was telling Leonard about the awesomeness of the periodic table of chemistry, he says that it's the universe in essence. Everything has it's place and it's just so amazing. Leonard asked him 'you are not married are you?'

and he answered

'no.. i am not married. I have never been good with people. It's not that i don't like them, i do. I just hope that i would have more rudimentary understanding of them. If only humans were less unpredictable'

hearing that, i smiled at myself. go watch the movie. it's AWESOME!

God Bless~

Pregraduation reflection

2010-04-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

Even though i haven't finish studying, it feels as if graduation is dawning upon me quickly. Want to run, but cannot escape. I know alot of people who wants to get away from uni as quickly as possible. i on the other hand am ambivalent about graduating.

throughout my 4 years in college, i would say it's one of the most interesting facets in my life. primary and secondary school was fun, fun in a way that it was relatively stress free. college life on the other hand is pretty fun too. more stress, and i really love the process of studying and doing assignments together. i repeat, I LOVE DOING ASSIGNMENTS TOGETHER. reminiscing back at when i first started foundation, slowly up till now, the dynamics of doing assignment changed tremendously.

it was always together gether then, doing and discussing things together, and doing and discussing things together again. everyone was less tied down by other responsibilities, and therefore have time to invest in studies. and when it's done, everyone's happy. everyone's happy during the process, or at least i would think so. from Juz do it Cafe, till MC 100 video, till colloquium posters and presentations, till creating that stupid clip peg game, i love them all. we can have bbq, birthday parties, hanging out together, holiday trips. where have all that gone to?

btw, not all group assignments i like. i only like assignments which i can work with people. i am not afraid of the assignment being tough. i am most afraid of people whom i can't work with. who don't communicate. who don't seem to care. some people i tell u, just don't work cooperatively. or at least i don't see their cooperativeness. and it's very disheartening sometimes when u invest so much, and your team members are as if acuh tak acuh. whether or not they really acuh tak acuh idk, but it seems AS IF la. :x

nowadays, idk y, but it seems everyone's busy. less time to spend on assignments, and therefore everyone wants the economical way out. minimum time wasted, with maximum return. well, i am not saying that it's not good, but what about the enjoyment of completing the assignment? to me, that's very much lost now. everyone just want to get it done with and that's that. period.

is this what life is supposed to be? do we stop and enjoy the roads that we are taking instead of just rushing to the finishing line? do we know what are we chasing after and where are we heading?

as graduation is dawning, i am at a crossroad, thinking where to go after this. take postgrad degree, get a job, get married, have a few kids, and then die? is that what life is all about?

God Bless~

Jade-ism

2010-04-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

What's with the jade-ism which fills the world today? is the world such a gloomy place?

Today when i was following one of my friends back from college, the topic on relationships came up. somehow, it led to marriage and my friend said that the person you marry might not necessarily be the person u love most.

well, yeah, i would agree, but i would be optimistic and think that we would hopefully marry someone we truly love? but she's like.. aih.. sudahlah, sui sui bian bian kahwin, and then have kids only. cause she loves kids. :x

is it me that is still under the illusion? or is it she that is too pessimistic?

CAFFEINEES

2010-03-29T03:37:00.000-07:00

Went to Caffeinees on friday (19th March 2010) with Jia Leng and Irene. :)

Sorta kinda time to chill out from all the anxiety and stress i guess.. and it's good :) jia leng abducted me from my house at around 11.45 i think, as i was just coming out of the bathroom. i was like.. she's here? shit.. haven't prepared yet.. XD

then she drove us to this wonderful restaurant Caffeinees. pretty nice place, price also pretty ok :)

Jia Leng ordered this satay, and said it's delicious... ask me to try.. i say i don't 1 eat cause scared spicy.. she told me not spicy 1.. LIAR!! eat already i non stop drink ice lemon tea. =.=; the satay is delicious, but really too spicy for me la..

the satay

the two girls

me enjoying my cup of tea ^^

Nice time off.. and then come back with sore throat.. all because of who? ngek ngek XD

God Bless~

沒那麼簡單 / Mei Na Me Jian Dan (It's not so easy) by 黃小琥 Huang Xiao Hu-

2010-03-25T00:56:00.000-07:00

Am currently addicted to this wonderful song.

沒那麼簡單 / Mei Na Me Jian Dan (It's not so easy) by 黃小琥 Huang Xiao Hu

没那么简单就能找到
mei na me jian dan jiu neng zhao dao
It's not that easy to find

聊得来的伴
liao de lai de ban
someone who you can comfortably communicate with

尤其是在
you qi shi zai
Even more so

看过了那么多的背叛
kan guo le na me duo de bei pan
when you have witnessed so many betrayals

总是不安
zong shi bu an
Will feel insecure

只好强悍
zhi hao qiang han
would just have to be brave enough

谁谋杀了我的浪漫
shei mou sha le wo de lang man
Who killed my romance

没那么简单
mei na me jian dan
It's not that easy

就能去爱
jiu neng qu ai
to be able to love

别的全不看
bie de quan bu kan
but ignore all the other things

变得实际
bian de shi ji
have changed to be more materialistic

也许好也许坏各一半
ye xu hao ye xu huai ge yi ban
maybe it's good, maybe it's bad, half - half

不爱孤单一久也习惯
bu ai gu dan yi jiu ye xi guan
dislike to be lonely, but after a while would get used to it

不用担心谁
bu yong dan xin shei
need not worry about anyone

也不用被谁管
ye bu yong bei shei guan
also need not to be controlled by anyone

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
gan jue kuai le jiu mang dong mang xi
when feeling happy, will be so busy running here and there

感觉累了就放空自己
gan jue lei le jiu fang kong zi ji
when feeling tired, then let loose of yourself

别人说的话随便听一听
bie ren shuo de hua sui bian ting yi ting
what other people say, just listen simply

自己作决定
zi ji zuo jue ding
but the final decision should be made by yourself

不想拥有太多情绪
bu xiang yong you tai duo qing xu
I would not want to have too much emotions

一杯红酒配电影
yi bei hong jiu pei dian ying
a cup of red wine to accompany the movie

在周末晚上关上了手机
zai zhou mo wan shang guan shang le shou ji
during the weekend evening, switch off your handphone

舒服窝在沙发里
shu fu wo zai sha fa li
comfortably relax on the sofa

Chorus:
相爱没有那么容易
xiang ai mei you na me rong yi
It's not that simple to love

每个人有他的脾气
mei ge ren you ta de pi qi
each person have their own temper

过了爱作梦的年纪
guo le ai zuo meng de nian ji
after the honeymoon period has passed

轰轰烈烈不如平静
hong hong lie lie bu ru ping jing
instead of having grandiose relationship, might as well have silence

幸福没有那么容易
xing fu mei you na me rong yi
Happiness is not that simple

才会特别让人着迷
cai hui te bie rang ren zhao mi
to especially make a person feel fasinated

什么都不懂的年纪
shen me dou bu dong de nian ji
the time when we don't know anything

曾经最掏心所以最开心曾经
ceng jing zui tao xin suo yi zui kai xin ceng jing
was when we were most immersed, therefore the happiest moment

没那么简单
mei na me jian dan
It's not that easy

就能去爱
jiu neng qu ai
to be able to love

别的全不看
bie de quan bu kan
but ignore all the other things

变得实际
bian de shi ji
have changed to be more materialistic

也许好也许坏各一半
ye xu hao ye xu huai ge yi ban
maybe it's good, maybe it's bad, half - half

不爱孤单一久也习惯
bu ai gu dan yi jiu ye xi guan
dislike to be lonely, but after a while would get used to it

不用担心谁
bu yong dan xin shei
need not worry about anyone

也不用被谁管
ye bu yong bei shei guan
also need not to be controlled by anyone

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
gan jue kuai le jiu mang dong mang xi
when feeling happy, will be so busy running here and there

感觉累了就放空自己
gan jue lei le jiu fang kong zi ji
when feeling tired, then let loose of yourself

别人说的话随便听一听
bie ren shuo de hua sui bian ting yi ting
what other people say, just listen simply

自己作决定
zi ji zuo jue ding
but the final decision should be made by yourself

不想拥有太多情绪
bu xiang yong you tai duo qing xu
I would not want to have too much emotions

一杯红酒配电影
yi bei hong jiu pei dian ying
a cup of red wine to accompany the movie

在周末晚上关上了手机
zai zhou mo wan shang guan shang le shou ji
during the weekend evening, switch off your handphone

舒服窝在沙发里
shu fu wo zai sha fa li
comfortably relax on the sofa

Repeat Chorus X2

想念最伤心
xiang nian zui shang xin
missing you is the most heart wrenching moment

但却最动心的记忆
dan que zui dong xin de ji yi
but also the most memorable memory

Amadeus

2010-03-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

Another movie which is meaningfully awesome. Oh i almost like all of Goh's movie because it always have something to teach about life. This movie talks about mediocrity and giftedness, and i can so identify myself with Salieri. Always, always, always trying to achieve perfection but fails.

i do envy people who seems to be like Wolfgang to me. last minute work also can be better than mine. how not to be envy? if there is one thing i learnt from this movie, it would be not to put in too much of 'self' into something. we should have invest in different fields so that when one fails to satisfy us that much, we can lean on other fields.

even if you invest a lot on a particular field, then open mindedness is a must. rather than competitive, y not think cooperatively? I wonder what would happen if Salieri and Wolfgang were to gang up together. personally i don't think it's very possible because the level is so far off. although they might understand one another, but Salieri would in all probability not contribute anything, simply because Wolfgang would have thought of all possibilities. how not to hate such people right? but at the same time, there's admiration.. oh ambivalency.. :x

Salieri often wondered in the movie "why would God give the gift of such music talent to such a young, ruthless lad like Wolfgang" Salieri concluded that God is unfair and came to the conclusion to stop this instrument of God.

but i guess there is reason on why God would create such individuals. maybe it's because He simply wants us to know that He has the power to do so, and to make us humble and human again. To not overly estimate our own 'smartness' and therefore He purposely plant some of these awesome geniuses every now and then, throughout history. and He would purposely make these geniuses to be a rascal, to differ from the norm, just to make us be humbled..

God Bless~

The Departures

2010-03-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

A magnificent movie which i had longed to catch since it came out. But didn't have the opportunity to. Good news is that Goh actually played this movie in class, and yay.. i got to watch for free :)

I like the fact that this movie talks about death and grief. how one should come to terms with one's life before death, and how one should come to terms with death itself, to accept death as a process of living, rather than it being an all-bad-ending.

In it, what i get is that dying is not something that should be avoided or afraid of. most of the time people would not want to die because they have so much things to hold on to. so much things left unresolved. therefore if you have something which you would want to do, don't wait too long. do not let the chance slip away and then regret about it

oh.. the cello song in the departures is superbly awesome. addicted to it now, together with another song, mei na me jian dao, another awesome song.

"the living eats on the dead to continue living. therefore when you eat, eat well"

God Bless~

Anxiously Ambivalent

2010-03-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

There are a few things which i would want to blog about.. but i guess time was of essence last week. so here comes the strings of blog postings :)

Have you ever felt so anxious, that at the end of the day, it seems that all your anxious energy is depleted and you come to a stage where u feel like 'whatever lah'.... couldn't be bothered anymore?.. am i the one at wrong? the person whom cannot seem to put in enough trust? or am i the only one who really cares? :x

felt really anxiously ambivalent and this feeling have been following me throughout the whole of last week. Especially on sat and sun where i have no appetite to eat and sleep. haven't been taking good care of myself cause fell sick last monday.. and got better on thursday. sleeping and eating irregularly, no appetite.. but the strange thing is i wake up super on time.. normally before 9, and i don't know y i can't get back to sleep... good thing volleyball on sunday lighten up my mood a bit. so when i am anxious what i do? invest my energy on something else namely PSY 304.

Due date was yesterday (tuesday), but i am not least worried about it, because i know i can do it. Got everything by friday and therefore start doing things on both sat and sun, until eyes also blur from staring at computer. finished it on sunday, and i can even go drink 'tong sui' on monday night.

complained to a few people regarding my anxious ambivalency. and oh well, it seems that one of the other party have the same worries as mine. XD thanks for listening out to me.. and well i guess it's vice versa. XD another one of my friend whom i complained to ask me how was it.. and i told her

T: don't ask.. cause i don't know
HM: you don't know? wow.. that's not very like of u
T: I know.. but i really don't know how is it going..

i don't like answering idk. but oh well.. i guess HM did say something right. "guess u cannot be in control everytime" :x

i would like to say a big thank you for the people whom have helped in completing it. some people have put in enormous effort, while others have not. i know i always blow u, and i am sorry for that. i guess that person doesn't really like me now.. idk.

the complete version is awesome i would say. the thing which got me depress for about a week (literally) came out not bad at all.. and i am glad :)

God Bless~

Ms. Winnee and Evie

2010-03-10T05:38:00.001-08:00

March 10, 2010

Today, i had another dream. And in the dream, there is Ms. Winnee. =.=;

I remembered that i was outdoor, looking people playing volleyball, and it was something like outside of the houses, on the roadside.

the people playing weren't awesome posem players, and i was just looking at them playing. then suddenly out of nowhere, Ms. Winnee came out from the house saying that she wants to play volleyball.. hahaha.. and the way she asked, was like a little girl, wanting to join in (with a little jumping and cheery mood) :x

then she joined, and she played, and she fell on the ground. but not serious fall la, only like scratch her palm.. then i don't remember anything anymore...

another dream, with evie in it. I actually didn't remember dreaming about her, until she msn-ed my today. then only it triggered the memory..

i remember that it was some occasion (couldn't remember what occasion though) and as a present, she gave me a letter. a letter with histories in it. XD really funny.. and that's all i remembered.

woke up to the thought of "tomorrow running thesis. i still haven't prepared my materials yet.. GG.COM!!!'

God Bless~

Nice Dream

2010-03-06T19:51:00.000-08:00

This morning i had a nice dream. And it has got to do with PSY 317. Or at least that's what the dream is about.

I remembered me sitting in a cafe with Kang Kang and Cha Loo. Kang Kang said that he has finished editing our movie, which i was of course delighted, and he brought a laptop together to show us the final product. When played, this was what i remembered

The camera is focusing on a pile of sugar. And the pile of sugar is on top of a piece of tissue paper. And that tissue paper was on top of a car's dashboard. The camera was inside of a moving car, and the sugar was a bit brownish.

Then someone spoke up, speaking in cantonese saying "don't take so much sugar ar.. nah, u like your drinks to be sweet. i have added enough sugar for u." the person who is speaking, is sitting beside the driver, and her face couldn't be seen. the drink that she was making is coffee, and that is why the sugar (which is white) is a little brownish, the spoon, which was in the coffee was used to scoop us some sugar to be placed inside the coffee.

all the while, the camera is in the backseat, focusing only on the sugar, and then on the hand movement of the person taking the sugar. after the drinks are done, she passed it to the driver. which the driver didn't drink because of some accident.

well that's the important thing la. in my dream, i thought to myself, whoah.. the way the story was told was pretty good. The sound was loud and clear, and the video was awesomely vivid. and i was very happy with the outcome of the movie.

when i woke up, i knew that i dreamt something good, and managed to trace back my dream before it decays. XD

now i am wondering how the actual movie will turn out. :x

God Bless~

Bad Dream

2010-03-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

5th March 2010

This morning had a bad dream. What i remembered is that i was inside a van, and i was eating raw processed fish meat. :x this surely comes from the steamboat yesterday night cause i remember i was eating fish noodles in the dream. and it's uncooked. errgghh.. and i was eating a whole box of it.. uwekk.. it doesn't taste bad, but it tasted funny.. that's how vivid the dream is..

then somehow i got sick of eating it, and went down the van.. i think.. then walked down the alley, it was at night and dark. my sister walked the other way.. different from where i walked.. and then after a while, i catch up to her, and i saw suspicious people.. i got near to her and asked her to run..

and we ran.. but there are more of them coming out from behind the dustbins to catch us.. and i awake from the dream shouting. :x my dad asked me 'shout what?' hahaha..

God Bless~

Ah Bit's theory of Self Love

2010-02-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

February 23, 2010

Today, we had Cognitive Psychology class from 12 till 2. I had tutorial class before that, so I came pretty early to college for it. And from 2 till 4.30, i had to stayback cause i playing volleyball.

Therefore, i already made arrangement to go lunch with one of my friends. She initially said ok, but then ffk me later. lol.. so, instead of going out with the planned person, i had lunch together with Suk Pei and Ah Bit. And the ffk is a blessing in disguise because the conversation we had over lunch was oh-so-deep-and-awesome

we started the oh-so-deep-and-awesome conversation by talking first about relationships. Then it delves into our ideology of love and how we view relationships. For me, my ideology of a relationship is that once coupled up, i would try and make it longterm, or at least in the hope of having a long term relationship, and if possible, ultimately marriage. My goal therefore is longterm commitment

Ah Bit's ideology however is in stark contrast to mine. Her ideology of love is that in a relationship, she doesn't emphasize on long term commitment as much. The ultimate goal, for now at least, is happiness while in the relationship.

Suk Pei's ideology is more oriented towards mine, although probably less extreme. and we debated over this issue of how having different goals will lead to different outcomes. I said that by not having a goal, which is long term commitment, the relationship won't last. At the very least, we should be hopeful that the relationship will last for having hope is a kind of blessing. by not having this goal, it seems to me that the relationship is going nowhere, and just floating around.

She then said that there is no guarantee in relationships (which i agree, cause nothing in life is guaranteed) and not putting hope in the relationship would be good so as not to get hurt too much. as long as both parties are happy in the relationship, it's good enough.

we debated for pretty long actually and it's really amusing how deep our conversation goes. It's the first time me having such deep conversation with Bit, and i am very suprised about her ideology actually. well at least now i know. hahaha.

then we talked about pretty much of other things and somehow i said that i read before that people are actually looking for their 'shadow' in Jung-ian's term. simply put, people find opposites of themselves in a relationship, does not only apply to life partners, but also to friends.

then ah bit postulated her theory, which i call Ah Bit's theory of Self Love XD

She said that people love themselves the most. This is the premise of the whole theory. And therefore, when finding for partner, they find people who are probably similar to themselves (whether similar in terms of 'shadow' or not shadow). She then argued that people get angry and dissapointed because people loves themselves. Why do people get angry and dissapointed? Because the other party did not met with our own expectations. Because the other party did not do good enough. And when they don't do good enough, we are angry because we would want it to be done according to our expectations, because we love ourselves too much.

if you think about it, it does make sense. humans generally want to experience positive emotions as compared to negative emotions. There would be very little people who would want to experience anger and dissapointment if given a choice to choose. so therefore, there should be another greater source which involuntary triggers this negative emotions in us, and that would probably the love for ourselves.

plausible theory? i think pretty much. but it still doesn't explain why people would sacrifice their lives for love ones i suppose. In this sense, the love for other transcends our love for our own life. so probably not all humans loves themselves most. maybe a whole lot do love themselves most, but there are people who would love others more than themselves. nevertheless, a very intriguing theory XD

Nice chat nice chat..

God Bless~

CNY part 5

2010-02-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

My CNY celebration doesn't seem to stop does it? XD

February 20th, 2010

Went to visit my godparents today. And boy, Florence have changed a lot. :X wouldn't recognize her on the street. hahahaha..

so went there, talk talk talk, talk about studies, work, politics, job prospects etc. etc. after about an hour of talking, went home. and i thought we were going to have lunch with them.. lol. Fourth day travelling on Federal Highway. zzzz.. me and Federal friend friend during CNY whey.. lol

so came home, and i then went to Suet Lai's house to bai nian. actually go there gamble only la. XD XD. so reached her house, and then gamble for a while. Tristan, Soon, Shawn, Wai Shin, Kei Kei, Mun Kiat and Foo was there.

Suet's luck wasn't good i suppose. lol.. she always lose. XD then after a while, went for lunch. Her mum prepared lunch for us and asked us to finish the dishes, cause they going out for dinner. And we did finish most of the dishes. Then only we know that the parents and the uncle haven't eaten lunch yet. =.=; gg.com lol.. but too late ady.. XD paiseh

then gamble again.. muahaha.. Suet's dad came down and joined us, and lose also.. ngek ngek. last year won our money.. this year pay back. muahahaha.. looks like the shouting of HUAT AH in FB worked a little la eh? except for Soon. XD

God Bless~

CNY part 4

2010-02-24T23:38:00.000-08:00

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Went out with my college gang. Tropicana City was the destination for Valentines Day, and i drove there by myself. Reached there, and then met up with Jian and Jia Leng, and waited for others to come.

So came, and then went in to watch the movie. The movie was just a-owhkay, not really awesome also. But still got me comtemplating on a few stuffs la :) then after movie, we went to have dinner at central point. the dinner was owhkay only as well. hahaha.. but no tax, and drink tea was awesome i suppose ^^

Jia Leng's spaghetti

Jian's 1?

I think lam's 1. lol

And this is mine :D

after dinner, we went to Evie's house, and gambled. jeng jeng jeng.. the point of the whole outing. XD play play, win lose.. and finally lost money. Evie menang whey. roar! and finally we went back at 11. drove back home, around 11.40 already. thank God for the safe journey :)

Third day travelling on Federal highway. lol

God Bless~

CNY Part 3

2010-02-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Woke up early and bath. Supposed to send my uncle to hospital for checked up, and then while he is doing his stuff, go visit my godparents. After bathing, got to know that we are not going to my godparent's house. But still need to send uncle to hospital. So me and my dad went and pick him up from PJ, and then went to Tun Hussien Onn hospital/clinic.

While there, i read an interesting magazine. the name of the magazine is Calibre and it's interesting because it doesn't talk about fashion, nor the current economics, nor about health, nor about men or women, and definitely not about cars. So what does it talk about? It talks about Earth. :D

inside are articles regarding war, poverty, global warming etc. and i took particular interest in the section where they talked about war. war is devastating, and it really seems that we, people who are war free can't do anything about it. but the writer postulates an idea

probably, just probably what we can and should do, is to know more about these happenings. To keep in mind that such an event are happening around the world. By keeping in touch with current happenings and putting it at our conscious, we probably could have layers of awareness. Layers and layers of awareness, would probably generate ideas, and ideas over ideas from many people, might probably produce an action.

the above paragraph is a rough recollection of what i remember the writer saying. hopefully it is still correct at it's core. :X but it is at the very least an interesting proposal.

then after that, went back home, and cousins were waiting for us to have lunch. It's already about 3 o clock, and then we went to Tsim Tung to eat lunch. by the time we finish, it's already about 4 o clock.. lol..

some of my friends were already at Wai Shin's house gambling.. and i wanted to go.. muahahaha.. so after lunch, i went to Wai Shin's house to gamble. Good to see some friends whom i don't normally see like Ruth and Kong. gamble gamble, win a bit la.. lol.. then balik rumah

while we celebrating happily, let's not forget that there are people who are still suffering on the other half of the world. another meaningful CNY day :)

God Bless~

CNY part 2

2010-02-22T06:19:00.000-08:00

17th Feb 2010

I guess this marks the real meaningful celebration for me this year. This is the start of the Lentern season, and it's Ash Wednesday. So Catholics all around the world should fast and abstain from whatever they would want to (normally it's food la).

I woke up, and then took my bath and get ready, because i have lunch with one of my friends. So after bath, i read newspaper and when i went to my room and looked at my phone, my friend said that she would want to sleep in a little longer, so push back the meeting time to 1 o clock. so i online and do some stuffs before going off

i drove and picked her up and good thing i didn't get lost.. muahahaha.. so picked her up, and discussed on where to eat.. discuss discuss, we finally settled on going to a shop in Alam Damai which sells pork related products. So drove there, and the shop is closed.. lol..

so the discussion arises yet again, where and what to eat. drove around and around, and finally settled on going to cineleisure to eat sushi. after going there, it somehow turned to not eating sushi anymore. We wanted to eat something which we normally don't eat.. so there were 2 options. Either TGIF or Marche (hopefully correct spelling). So since we were undecided, we played scissors paper stone. if i win, it's marche, and if she won, it's TGIF. conclusion is we went to Marche and it's her first time there, while it's my second.

food was owhkay, but what i love about it was how we drink tea and talked and talked and talked. i normally don't drink english tea, but it isn't that bad. ^^ if we had more time, i guess we would still sit and talk until dinner comes. But i had to go home and head for church as it's Ash Wednesday. So we left at 4.

fetched her back, and then drove home safely, without getting lost again. No jam. yay!

attended mass at Sacred Heart church, and the priest said that this is not the season of sadness, but rather a season of renewal. Incidentally, i do feel renewed inside out. Since the yum cha session at lookout point to today's lunch session. I finally see my life as coming together. Understanding the meaning of life, friends, money and God.

i suddenly feel that i have neglected my spirituality for a pretty long time. I was religious, in the sense that i do my duties and obligations, but spiritually empty. now, my spirituality is coming back i suppose. i need to fix my relationship with my Master, and not let the world clutter my mind. And through this understanding of these many things, I think i found peace :)

AWESOME DAY!!

God Bless~

Chinese New Year

2010-02-18T06:29:00.000-08:00

This year's chinese new year is a little bit different. It's not like normal and therefore i thought it would be pretty boring. But I could never be more wrong. It probably is one of the best CNY i ever had :)

Normally, my chinese new year goes like this. Reunion dinner with my extended family, at my grandma's place. Then on the first day of Chinese New Year, will go to grandma's place again in the morning, after attending church, and in the afternoon/evening, go down to Melaka.

This year however, the reunion dinner is just with my nucleus family members together with my oldest aunt. Reason is because my grandma passed away last year. And a thought dawned upon me this very year.

What will happen 30 years down the road? If let's say both of my sisters were married, would I have to celebrate new year eve all alone if i am not married? It's a very scary thought.

Carrying on with my celebration, after the dinner, we went straight to Melaka. That very night. Because my younger sis would need to go back to NS camp, and therefore, time is pretty of essence to us.

The first day of CNY, we went down to Batu Pahat to visit relatives, and it's great to see them, especially my cousins, and their children (my nephews and nieces). It's a one day trip, but pretty nice la. At least we get to see each other once in a while. Then after that, we went back to Melaka.

Normally during the first day of CNY, my cousins' cousins will come over to Melaka to stay over too, and we cousins and cousins' cousins will gamble. It's almost like a yearly gathering and it's one of the things i love most about Chinese New Year. XD But this year, they didn't arrive on the first day, and therefore no gambling with them. Next year ba..

Second day of CNY (Monday), came back to KL, cause sister need go back camp on the following day. And i rotted at home. Having pretty much emotional turmoil about some stuffs and on tuesday night, i super randomly ask Lam whether he's free that night and whether he would want to go Genting. just for walk walk, and then come down back.. XD

He seemed suprised (who wouldn't right?). I also asked Jian and he was suprised as well cause he asked me 'what happen to u?' XD finally we settled for a yum cha session at Lookout Point. It was an awesome posem time spent cause i really need some air due to my emo-ness. Talked a lot, nice ambience, cooling and emo-ness starts to fade off. I belanja them, but suprisingly very little cognitive dissonance. hahaha.. i normally don't spend on people. and this probably starts off as my turning point in CNY, from what i thought would be boring celebration this year, to something really meaningful..

more reasons on why it's meaningful in upcoming posts

God Bless~

Dissapointement and gratefulness

2010-02-11T05:54:00.000-08:00

Acting for 1 day thought me 1 thing. I CAN'T ACT. Or at least not at this moment. It's tough.. really tough.. i have the picture in my head, i try to act, but it doesn't show. probably some scenes can.. but most of it can't.. especially ......

dissapointed in how i failed to carry out my role. no chemistry at all.. really cacatfying la.. ish.. i just hope the movie after editing would turn out owhkay. I don't need it to be awesome, i just need it to be adequate. Wei hong asked me to not self condemn so much. i hope i could, i tried, but i didn't manage to? anyway.. it's done and what's done is done. so.. such is life la..

so what did i get? let's see..

face, neck and arm sunburnt. everytime i walked down the stairs, my thighs scream with pain.. and my tummy is painful too.. so cannot really cough, sneeze or laugh :X shoulders are tired.. even with serious volleyball training also i don't feel this much pain.. i have been complacent.. hahaha.. thigh got muscle cramp yesterday and it's so painful that i wanted to rip apart that pants.. but my leg got stuck.. didn't manage to take out the pants.. but eventually the pain subsides, and then slowly managed to take off the pants. k let's change focus..

I would want to say a few thank yous here. don't know whether they will read this, but it's my appreciation to them

1) Wei Hong aka Kang Kang - he is the cameraman, director, choreographer, editor and... oh well.. i think he did most of the things, except acting. XD THANK YOU!!! i don't know what will happen without u

2) Rachel Tan Ai Ling - behind every man, there is a lady? muahahaha.. Wei Hong's gf. :p she helped him to set up stuffs and discuss things with him. so she plays a pretty big part too...

3) Annie Chew Cha Loo - for finding her friends (Kang kang, rachel, samantha, nunu, felix and clement) to help out. and also for taking the female lead role. most importantly, for being patient with me while i am the 'pariah' boyfriend

4) Samantha - for working together with wei hong and rachel. the 3 musketeers. XD

5) Dewi and Xinrou - for buying food for us. you probably felt really bored doing nothing most of the time but i really appreciate you being there until everything ends. :)

6) Coral - the prop master. thank you for assembling all the props together. i guess it's really pretty well coordinated..

7) Liggy - coordinator.. err.. she keeps calling people? XD give morning call, check where we are in the morning. check where people are in the evening..

8) Clement, Nunu, Felix, Daniel and Nicholas - thank you for all your effort. it's fun working with u all.. funny, playful, and some can act better than me i guess. we would not have pulled it through without u all inside

9) Pang Hui Sin - thanks for lending your place as a venue for our shooting (Thanks Leong for it too and the tv set). and thank you for your... money? wakakakaka XD

10) Ng Ai Li - thanks for helping finding Ju Wen, and Aunt Annie :D

THANK YOU ALL PEOPLE!!!!

and my million apologies for my mistakes and super H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. acting

God Bless~

A life lived in fear is a life half lived

2010-02-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

Today during class, we watched Strictly Ballroom, and it's a nice show. Watched it before during social psych class, but now watch it again. One of the phrase that comes out often is this phrase

A life lived in fear is a life half lived

Let's put some thoughts onto that phrase shall we? In the context of the story, the message that it wants to gets across to us audience is that we should strive to fulfill our dreams and should not fear of living out our dreams. It's a good quote, and a good advice, but to me, it seems unrealistically optimistic.

Fear is a good thing. Or at least i think it is. Fear makes us learn. Fear makes us think of the consequences of things before acting upon a decision. If we don't fear, then we don't learn and act without thinking. Without fear, there will be no order in this world. In fact, many principles of today's life works on this premise.

Law is one of those. Punishment for people who commit crime is based on fear. The argument is that if the people fear the punishment, then they would be less likely to commit crimes. whether or not the punishment is justly made is another matter all together, but that's the basic premise of law i suppose.

by being fearful, one would need to think of the repercussion. but where is the line between being brave and acting stupid? scolding people in front of a crowd, brave or stupid? confessing one's love to another who, where it's almost impossible for the 2 to have a relationship, brave or stupid? pursuing one's dream without thinking much of the consequences, brave or stupid?

No easy answer.. and there is always no easy answer to questions like this :S

God Bless~

Update

2010-02-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

Ah.. finally some space to breath.. i suddenly realize that i am so free now. But haven't do my thesis yet.. better get working.. gg.com..

today i was sitting in the bus, from college on my way to bangsar lrt.. and when the bus reaches menara millenium there.. in front of kfc, the bus need to come to a stop because this super smart lorry driver decided to double park. so the bus can't go through because sure will hit the lorry.

the bus driver honk honk honk.. no one comes out.. honk honk honk somemore.. and still no one comes to claim the beloved lorry. then he tried to squeeze his way through, but then cannot la.. the mirror of the bus will surely bang with the lorry's mirror. so, he did something dramatic..

jeng jeng jeng... drums roll.....

he went up the divider. and the whole bus was tilted to the left.. SO COOL!! now how many of you people have the privilege to experience something like that? XD only Malaysian bus drivers can do that k. Malaysia Boleh!!

Well, i really admire the bus driver to a certain extent la... i don't blame him.. it's the lorry driver who choose to double park which is.. aih.. don't know what to say.

on my way home, in the lrt, i saw one student in particular, holding a file and inside the file, she pasted the picture of Rukia (one of the shinigami in Bleach). and i thought back of myself.. when i was her age, i used to paste pictures which i like too... last time, i paste picture of dragon ball, and Ann (one of the characters in Harvest Moon: Back to Nature). XD

so that's that..

CNY is coming.. and seems like this year's CNY will be a little bit different as compared to previous years. What shall i do? :X hope everything will go smooth on wed

God Bless~

This thing call stress

2010-02-05T04:52:00.000-08:00

The past week have been pretty stressful for me. Lots of planning, works to do and future works to do. If only the Know Youself assignment is due next week, i guess i can write 2 full pages of stress diary. XD

It's like suddenly there is so many things to concentrate at one time and seems to have no time to rest.

1) Need to plan for filming - do script, meeting. revise script, meeting. revise script, meeting. Buy props, plan time, venue, find actors. Deal with some emotional turmoil. me as group leader and main actor :X if i can't act well how? time is running out and need to complete as soon as possible.

2) need to plan for cognitive psych - writing the ERB is hard :S cause everything also main hentam masuk. rationale? err.. "find journal, find journal" (Teh, 2010). need find and churn journal.

3) Know Yourself assignment - due yesterday. and presented yesterday also. i didn't think i did well. pretty dissapointed.. should have choose to present next week. :X have been doing this assignment since like.. 2 weeks i think

4) Thesis - haven't do neccessary changes to my thesis. After getting approval from ERB, practically have done nothing. cham lo

5) Academic tutor - tutoring this semester and need to see tutees. took up quite some time. also checked some of the thesis my friends have done. also took some time giving feedbacks.

6) need to complete assignment 1 for film - due next week.

7) volleyball - hmm...

On a positive side, i guess there is some excitement. Especially in the movie making. hahaha.. hopefully my acting skills pass la. if not really don't know what to do. need to act lovey dovey some more XD

pretty recently, i managed to talked to a friend who have been pretty just hi bye friend. and it's amazing how we can talk about stuff so deep that i don't tell anyone else. and she did reveal to me stuffs that are pretty deep as well. i don't know whether she tells that to other people, but to me it's a pleasant suprise how normally we don't talk, and suddenly we can have such deep conversation. i shared with her some of my sakit hatiness.. and yea la.. what to do? sakit hati :X
and we shared how both of us are so stupid... hahahaha..

ok time to get back to assignment

God Bless~

How long have u been in HELP?

2010-01-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

One of my friends asked me "So this is your third year in HELP eh?"

I answered "yeah.. third year going to fourth"

After some moment.. i said "no no.. it's my fourth year, going to fifth"

Five years in HELP. FIVE FRIGGING YEARS. Time flies man.. 5 years in primary school seems like eternity. 5 years in secondary school seems like a little less than eternity.

how long more will i be in Help i wonder :X

God Bless~

A little update

2010-01-29T22:38:00.000-08:00

yesterday i was sleeping so nicely and i was dreaming so nicely until SOMEONE decided to kacau me from my sleep through sms. OK la.. shouldn't blame her cause she doesn't know i am still sleeping right? but still.. ROAR!

I dreamt that i have a function to attend to, but i first dropped by at one of the volleyball court where my friends are playing volleyball cum bbq. I remember Thean was there together with Gee Chong. Stanley was there too. (btw, gee chong is back like.. soon and tomorrow, hopefully both thean and gee chong will be playing vb, muaahahaha). So there they were, and i have another function to go to, so i left.

before i left, i went to the toilet. Ok that's just a detail to show how much i remember about my dream, not significant in the dream plot. XD

then my dad fetched me to a place which i don't know where it is, but the strange things is that it seems so familiar. I even walked into the place as if i know it inside out. I first wanted to go find my friends who are playing volleyball there (college people), and i seemed to know where to walk eventhough i don't know that place :X

i managed to find my way to the volleyball court and there they were playing without me inside. roar.. i remember seeing self proclaimed super setter, YZ and 3 more weird people in the court which consist of 2 westerners and another was playing while wearing something like a scuba diving suit. XD

then after seeing them play for a while, i went to the toilet. this is important for the plot ok.. :p the toilet was astoundingly beautiful by the way. so i went to toilet and this indian seems to want to cari pasal with me. want to go out, he block, i call for help from another person, but it turns out that the other person i asked help for gang up with him and bullied me. funny.. hahaha it's like the more people i call for help, the more people comes but ended up helping them instead of me..

then it occured to me that they were just playing around with me as a means to celebrate my birthday.. just to 'juak' me a little. i don't know where this weird thought came from, but yes la.. my thoughts were true. (FYI, my birthday is nowhere near). then they took me to a place where i can pamper myself with massage.... after the massage, i was supposed to be brought to the birthday party.. oh so sweet right?

but before i even managed to go for that supposedly awesome massage, i was awaken by the sms =.=!!!

Yean May, u better pay for what u have done.. i cannot get massage in dream, u better pay me back in reality.. XD

ok a little update about my life? hmm.. nowadays life is a little more meaningful, or at least at this point in time maybe. lol.. a lot of generativity i suppose. if last time i place generativity in other people's volleyball life, this time i place my effort into people's study. i am an academic tutor.. yay.. for PSY 105, 106, 201, 202, 204, and 208. and also helping some of my friends to read their thesis. nice? NICE... :D

also i will also be shooting a short film this sem.. new challenge.. awesome posem..

some of the volleyball people are leaving, or already left, but i think there will be more outings for these 2 weeks. hahaha.. everytime say last meeting, last meeting.. go out every now and then. :X

oh and assignments are piling up.. so yea.. that's some update about my life

God Bless~

Change

2010-01-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

Today went out gai gai with friends. And it seems that they have changed a lot.

they go clubbing. something i didn't think they would do. not that clubbing is bad, but it just didn't cross my mind that they would go. and yes, many people whom i thought would not go clubbing actually do go. maybe it's my conservative thinking gua.. go clubbing only got 3 things can do. drink, dance and look at lengzhais/lengluis. i don't drink, i don't dance and there punya lengzhai/lengluis also cannot pakai 1 la.. so that's y i don't want to go clubbing. i still don't really understand y my friends would go clubbing, but probably it's the atmosphere ba.. i haven't been, so i can't say anything.. in short, they changed

they gamble. XD asked me whether i entered casino not.. i said 'no'. and they said next time bring me go.. lol.. i don't 1 gamble there.. probably go inside to just take a look ba.. if they don't ask, it didn't even cross my mind to go casino.. it also didn't cross my mind that they would go.

i guess they really did change. probably you can call it growth. maybe i am the one who is left behind ba. :X

God Bless~

Irony of technology

2010-01-05T04:19:00.001-08:00

Technology is supposed to make our lives easier to live. the irony lies in the bad side of technology. It makes us complacent.

the invention of cars made it possible to travel longer distance. And yes, there is more travelling, but less exercising. Last time people need to walk to travel. Not anymore and therefore less healthy living

the invention of phones and internet made it possible for seamless connectivity. but ironically, it made people talk online rather than face to face. You could say it's more connectivity, but less quality communication.

the invention of air cond made our home cooler, but made the world warmer.

so many more other technology which have in one way or another changed our lifestyle.

but i guess i can't blame technology right? it's just a piece of tool. we humans are the ones who are living, and we should take actions for what is good for us. but human beings are beings of neccessity. unless it's a 'must do', we normally don't do it.

HUMANS :)

God Bless~

Friends of mine

2009-12-30T22:44:00.001-08:00

Meng is bipolar, swinging from emo to euphoric between days. Ying zhou is father of don't-care-until-the-time-comes. He can don't care about his car keys that is lost, until the time comes for him to go back. XD. Yean May is easy to talk with. I think under her serious demeanour, she's a pretty sampat girl XD. Jun Hao is stubborn and always say will improve, but i don't see any improvement. he also very perasan.. i think he seriously got inferiority complex :p Loo Loo is princess-cy. she seems sad nowadays. i hope she will find happiness soon. Shui May is another sad girl currently. i hope she finds herself soon too. XD. Evie sometimes stresses over things that can't be changed, like the weather, and timetables which i don't understand why. Shyuan is always wanting to be right XD. Hui Keng is pretty. Looking good does and indeed do make someone feel good, but in order to feel good, one does not necessarily need to look good. You look good and you should start to learn how to build your happiness on other domains. Joel Lim is secretive. KC always wants to be 'yeng zhai'. Su Lyn is pretty sampat at times, but very hardcore when it comes to volleyball. always want argue with me 1 XD. Yuinnie is studious. Si Hui is always spouting foul language. roar~. Soo Leng is very blur and procrastinates. Ah bit is very cute, so is Sharon. Lynnette is someone who will tell you lots of things if she trusts you. it's always fun listening to her 'life dramas' XD. Shawn knows lots of things, but can don't-care-cause-it's-not-my-problem also. he also is generous. Fei zhai and kar wai are blow water king. Jian is piloting. Jia leng is... jia leng XD. Tristan can be very charasmatic. Suet Lai still sampat.. Wai Shin sometimes very good guy ge. Kong still the same. Wei Fen is sometimes pretty shy. maybe it's just my opinion. Candice is clubbing queen. XD. wake people up in the middle of the night to drink booze? extreme case.. Weng Sing is pretty generous. Norman is very 'kan chan'. lol.. the older he grows, the more 'kan' he is. XD. Solomon very relax, no sense of importance. maybe haven't grow up yet. Kay Chong is good guy. he very easily let people take advantage of i suppose. many other more which i didn't mention, humblest apologies. hahaha

God Bless~

The Naked Truth

2009-12-30T05:24:00.000-08:00

This post is about an honest reflection about myself. As the year is coming to an end, I guess it's a suitable time after 21 years to get an honest reflection about what i really am as a person. I got alot of things on my mind which i want to express but i don't know where to start, so i shall just blurt what comes to mind

I am a very frugal man. In my heart, there is always an invisible calculator. whenever i purchase items or good or services, the reward in return should be more or less equals to what i pay. if not, i will be very uneasy inside, a lot of cognitive dissonance probably. and it takes some time to reduce the dissonance. As an example, let's say i go MidValley. The cheapest food i can get there is from the food court, which would cost about RM 7 to RM 8. but with RM 7 or RM 8 for a bowl of soup noodles is inequity to me. i would add a little more to the money, to eat something better, with 'brand'. with that, it is more equitable. But i dislike spending that much money, and therefore, i would rather opt to go out of MidValley and go eat RM 4 or RM 5 noodles at other places. I AM THAT FRUGAL!!!

Since young I have been this way i guess. maybe it's the upbringing from my dad, who is always calculative about items purchased. i think i really am like him, or probably worse. XD that's y i like to go to cut my hair at the same place. RM 5 for haircut, eventhough i will have to sit there fore 2 hours, trimmed by a student hairstylist. I also get cognitive dissonance if people spend me, but i guess it's less dissonance as compared to me spending on other people. XD

My aunt say i so leng zhai, how come no girlfriend. Maybe it's because i am frugal ba.. but i think it's more than that and sometimes i indeed do wonder why. I go night market and supermarket and gai gai and i see young couples together. Look at the girl, not bad, look at the guy.. swt.. i think i could be a better candidate. but then why don't i have 1?

i went for counselling this sem for bonus marks and i talked about relationships and how hard it is to maintain a good relationship. i presented my problems telling the counselor that i am afraid of not becoming a good boyfriend. because i do not have a car, which means transport will be a problem. i might not have that much of time, because i am mostly at home doing assignments, and also i play volleyball for college. this translate to me probably not spending enough time with her. thirdly, as i have said, i am a very frugal dude. i always am calculative. i think girls don't like it :S but at the end of the counselling sessions, i guess these things are just things i use as defence to not go into a relationship. maybe i am afraid that i will hurt her, maybe i am afraid that it won't end up well. or maybe i am just afraid that i will get hurt in the process

would you prefer to go into a relationship and risk getting hurt over and over again? or to play safe and only go into a relationship when u really really really are certain? I am the latter currently. previously, when i was younger, i probably am the earlier.

censor.. when say things, i am scared that i will hurt others and therefore there is a lot of censoring in my mind before saying or doing things. i am scared of hurting others but if the person is genuine, the person should say the truth although the truth hurts. but i guess life is not just about myself. I can't be too selfish and just say things which i think is right. i need to think from their perspective as well, and their feelings. to say or not to say? :S

my friends say that i am a peadophile cause i always say things such as 'she's so cute' and 'oh he so cute' whenever we are out. then they will turn to me and say me peadophile. i really don't know what my feelings are towards some girls. it seems that i want to protect them from harm and it hurts when i see them sad, stress, frustrated and all the negative emotions. i sometimes want me to be the one suffering instead of them. wanting to alleviate their burden but don't know how. When they are experiencing joyful emotions, i feel happy for them as well. is this love? paternal protection? sternberg said that there are 3 components to love: commitment, passion and intimacy. which component would the above case fall into? :S probably the topology of love can explain it better where i am experiencing agape love?

sometimes i feel so sad and upset about how people whom i care about do not seem to invest emotionally as much as i do. it's draining really. i sms, no reply. i call, don't pick up, mail no response. what does that mean? don't 1 to talk to me? don't 1 to care? busy? not important? other times, i find it hard when i do so much, but get so little in return. inequilibrium, leading to cognitive dissonance, leading to dissonance reducing, which needs lots of brain work.

this year, my peers who are mostly 1988 are 21 years old. everytime go in FB, i will see wishes such as "today's your 21st, have a blast". i also see many events being posted up about their birthdays, and i envy them. recently i saw Micky's birthday party together with her twin sister. Oh i miss her.. that day saw her, only spoke to her for less than a minute.. roar~ she's in butterworth now if i am not mistaken.. anyway, back to 21st. how did my 21st went? err? nothing out of the ordinary i guess.. the out of the ordinary thing is that teresa gave me a doughnut as a present. my only present XD THANKS TERESA!!~~ my sis also brought me makan a day before as celebration. Not bad not bad. :)

1 thing which i am always battling on is about lust. i don't know how to express, but there's a constant ongoing battle within myself between doing what constitutes as normal, and what constitutes as holy. the other day, i went sunway lagoon and many ladies wore skimpy cloths. ok.. even without them wearing skimpy, i still do look at cha bos and scrutinize them. considered as lusty? where is the line between what is considered as lusty or not? is having fantasies lusty? watching porn? talking dirty?

the other day, we went to a christmas party in my err... godbrother's house. there, a topic came up which is pretty interesting. they talked about money and health, and one man said that the end for people who don't have money is to wait for death. another man said no no, man should strive to live, because if people with no money were to just wait for death, then all the beggars will already commit suicide, and i took interest in this point of view.

indeed, everyone is waiting to die literally. rich, poor, very poor or filthy rich. no one can live forever, or at least for now. they say that it is possible to live forever in the future, but we shall leave that for the future. and so therefore, the question is this, if everyone will die, and money plays no role in death, then y earn money? this question, or similar question was posted by one of my friend in FB, and the reply she got was that it depends what kind of lifestyle she wants to live in. the difference is in the level of comfort, where obviously people with money will have a more comfortable lifestyle. but then it depends on how one defines 'comfortable lifestyle'. if to me comfortable is living in a hut in a peaceful jungle, then i need no money (i think Meng would agree with this). but if comfortable is always wanting to buy new things, then money will always not be enough (proponents for this idea will be Hui Keng, Evie and Shyuan XD). what we have absorbed so long in life is the society's standard of 'comfortable life'. it should be remembered that comfort does not equate happiness. I guess to make life meaningful, we should find what we really want to do in life. death matters no more then, i suppose

i love volleyball. it's really an AWESOME game and i guess if there's one thing i am addicted to, it would be volleyball. XD from serving, to first ball, to setting, to spiking, to blocking to covering, it's an awesome game which needs both strong team work and strong individuals. dang syok la. :D

i don't like people who only knows how to complain this and that, as if the world is going to turn the other way round when they complain. knowing that the world won't be a better place even with their complains, they still will keep on complaining. WHY? people who complain just for the sake of complaining only make people around them feel worse. i get it when you want to express discomfort, and i am fine with it, but need not harp on the issue over and over again right?

i don't like people who likes to force other people to accept their viewpoint. you can have your viewpoint, and i can have mine. No problem with different viewpoints is there? we can still respect each other for our point of view. But it's a different matter if you want to persuade me to take on your point of view. If i see sense in it, i will, but if i don't, y force?

i don't like people to argue with seemingly impossible outcomes. these people will present viewpoints which have so slim a possibility. the problem is that they seem so scared with everythings and it makes the argument go on and on. when people say them back, they just shrugged it off as if it's nothing. apa maksud?

i don't like people who exaggerate things.

i like things and ideas which transcend normal imagination. that's y i like movies like Avatar, and manga like One Piece. I like films with martial arts in it. Wushu and wuxia flick is awesome. i like movies with provoking thoughts like The Pursue of Happiness. All these gets my mind working. i like movies which makes the heart warm and make people think twice about what are the most precious things in life.

i like mythology, and therefore if movies or comics have some myths as it's support, i like it. That's y i like the original Yu-Gi-Oh, where ancient Egypt relics are one of the important characteristics. That's y i like Bleach, where they talk about Shinigami. That's y i like The Legend, which ties to ancient China.

i think i am very prejudiced towards certain people of a certain races. but more important than race, i think i am prejudiced towards people whom in my eyes don't look like good people, regardless of race. I don't know how to define, but if they fall below my standard, i really don't like them. maybe it's their hair, maybe it's their dressing, maybe it's the way they carry themselves. i also dislike 'lala' people. XD

i sometimes envy people who always seems to be in attention. eventhough they do nothing, they are always in the limelight. why? i LOA. but i also enjoy my solidarity sometimes. :D

the hardest thing in the whole wide world is not to solve the hardest maths question, or inventing something evolutionary. the hardest thing to do in this whole wide world is to be a good person. people will and can survive without the invention of telephone, internet, tv and so forth, but people will not survive without acceptance, family, love, forgiveness, and these are the things that is hard to do.

I have taken an honest look into myself. Can you?

Happy 2010.

God Bless~

Liar Game

2009-12-27T20:57:00.001-08:00

I just finished watching a Japanese drama, Liar Game. It is adapted from the manga with the same name and it's premise is pretty interesting.

People are selected to participate in a game known as the Liar Game, and participants will have to deceive each other in order to obtain money and those who win will keep the money won, while those who lose will be in debt to the company.

Kanzaki Nao, an honest female is one of the participants and being stupidly honest, she was easily cheated of her money. she then sought help from Mr. Akiyama, who is known to be a genius swindler. Together with Akiyama, both of them progressed through the game stage by stage. But while Akiyama always thinks about how to save him and Nao, Nao on the other hand always thinks about how to save her opponents so that they do not fall into debts.

and this trust she has in others always leads back to problems where Akiyama will need to conjure up something to save the day. although deceived so many times, she is still very trusting till the very last moment.

in the last episode, she posed a question

"is it bad to be stupidly honest?"

the answer? i don't think i would want to reveal here what the answer is, but i think if we were to become stupidly honest, then we should learn how not to hold grudge towards others. that way, even if we are being cheated, we will not feel bitter about it. and that is what Kanzaki Nao is as a person.

or probably Kanzaki Nao just doesn't learn from mistakes? hahaha.. she probably have low aversive emotional conditioning and therefore being cheated to her is non or less aversive. XD

God Bless~

Some thoughts

2009-12-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

The other day i came across an interesting thought

I was thinking to myself, wouldn't it be easy to clean the house if we were able to ionize the dust particles? It works like this. The room will be ionized and of course it will be on a low scale so that only the dust particles will be ionized due to it's small size. then there will be a container which is known as 'collector' which will have the opposite charge.

therefore if the dust particles are being charged negatively, the container will be positively charged and because they are opposites, they will attract. the room therefore will be easily cleaned. then after that, the room will be charged oppositely again, so that things in there will remain neutral of any charge. cool thought isn't it? XD

but who am i kidding right? charging dust particles? hahaha..

"we started with like, journeyed through with care and ended up with love."

"i can't changed what had happened in the past, and i don't know what will happened in the future, but i can only sincerely hope that our love for each other may never stop growing"

God Bless~

Psychology Colloquium 2008

2009-12-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

To me so far, this colloquium was the most energy consuming because we have to present 2 presentations. 1 for social psych, and another for advanced research methods. 2 presentation on the same day and therefore we were pretty much exhausted before, during and after.

but we did not let the stress take us out, but rather, faced it with determination. 1 day before colloquium, all of us camped at Lam's house and we were perfecting our presentations.

See Joel so rajin doing his work..

See.. all so rajin do work.. or is it? XD

practicing yet again when we reach college the next day.

finally after presentation, all of us were sitted at auditorium. Here, we have Mr. Teh together.. :D

see this xiao cha bo? don't see her xiao xiao like that, she smart ok.. XD

but all the practice and hard work was worth it cause we did win ourselves something. until this very day, i still haven't spent my present yet. :S don't know what to buy

it's a sad thing nobody took our photos during our presentation yea? or maybe someone did? just that i don't have those photos.. hahaha.. i don't think any colloquiums in the future will be as stressful as this. thesis defence just passed.. nothing special also.. ngek ngek.. XD

Blessed Christmas everyone

God Bless~

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2009-12-20T08:22:00.000-08:00

The other day i managed to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on tv and it's a really wonderful show. When it first came out, i didn't thought that it would be such a good story with some highly important values embedded into the story. so i didn't watch it then, but i was so wong.

The story talks about Willy Wonka, an owner of a super-state-of-the-art chocolate factory and he is the best chocolate creator in the story. He sent out 5 tickets to 'lucky' children who are given the opportunity to visit his factory and one of them will have a suprise at end.

So came five children together with their parents for a visit to his factory. Willy Wonka is greatly depicted by Johnny Depp, and i pretty much like him in the story. Slowly, the children were eliminated one by one due to their own misbehavior. and the last boy standing was Charlie. the suprise was that he will be the heir to the factory, with one condition, Willy Wonka said that Charlie would need to shift in into his factory, leaving his family behind, and because of this, Charlie rejected Willy's offer. well, it later ended well :D

throughout the story, there are some thought provoking moments.

1. the children in the movie were brats, and that got me thinking... will my children grow up like that? with the things they show on media nowadays, it's really REALLY hard to fend them off, especially since they would believe and like things which looks cool. if they asked me to buy them this and that, will i give in? i remember when i was still young, i do ask things from my parents, but more often that not, i don't get what i want. i do feel unhappy then, and therefore i should not make my children feel what i felt right? but it's a debate about pampering too much vs child disciplining, which is hard to balance and find the fine line between the two.

2. one thing i like about the movie was how it transcends normal logic. and that's what i like about manga too.. especially One Piece. it fosters creativity and make people think about what are the possibilities out there. logic is logic, but to be able to think about illogical stuffs which are out of the ordinary, it's creative. i thought to myself, have we (we referring to humans in general) been trained to think so logically that we sometimes don't see some other view which is totally out of the ordinary? if we could just tap into this power of creativity, i think the world will be a better place to live in. ^^

3. the value of the people around us. in the movie, Charlie would give up owning the factory just because he had to be seperated from his family. And that's a point of view coming from a child. how many of us would be as him, to be able to say a big 'NO' when the bargain on the other end seems so so good?

Love this movie

God Bless~

What shall I do?

2009-12-12T06:39:00.000-08:00

The axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. "What shall we do then?" the crowd asked. John answered, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." Tax collectors also came to be baptized. " Teacher," they asked, "what should we do?"

"Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told them. Then some soldiers asked him, "And what should we do?" He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people fasely-be content with your pay."

The people were waiting expectantly and were all wondering in their hearts if John might possibly be the Christ. John answered them all, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire." (Luke 3: 9 - 17)

That is the Gospel message of today and how very suitable it is. As we come into the 3rd week of Advent, it is high time we ask ourselves, "what shall I/we do?"

Christmas for many is a holiday rather than a holy day. and we shall not forget the true meaning of Christmas. Instead of praising Santa Claus and doing our Christmas shopping, we should instead ponder on the birth of Christ and give attention to the people around us who needs help. Indeed, sometimes we are so caught up in doing things among ourselves that we neglect people who really needs our attention.

we do Christmas carolling among BECs, buy presents for friends and familes etc., but have we ever wondered whether we can sing to the old folks in the old folks home, or the orphanages? have we thought about buying gifts for the orphanages, the migrant workers, our maids, give donation to the poor, and give attention to the lame, the afflicted or simply offering up a little prayer for the sick, torn families, people in war who are in fear etc.?

as Christmas is coming, let us not forget the root of Christmas which is CHRIST Himself. Let us be aware of the people around us who needs help. The true spirit of Christmas will only be experienced if we reach out to people.

"What shall I do?" I blogged about His glory. Now what about you? :)

God Bless~

MAPCU 2009

2009-12-10T06:47:00.000-08:00

This year volleyball MAPCU was filled with UNCERTAINTY. Mainly because the main organizer did not want to organize it. And it was initially being called off. But our head of DSA didn't want to call it off and said that HELP will organize it.

So DSA have been working to organize the volleyball competition. I should give credit to the people who organize cause they did manage to pull it off. Although there are many uncertainties, but i can see that a lot of effort have been put into making the event a successful 1. Many colleges don't want to participate cause they don't have teams, girls teams especially, and it is not until the 11th hour that we know whether there is the competition or not. but they did try their best to get participations for both males and females category and finally, it did happen

Date: Nov 29 2009
Venue: Sports Complex, University Melaya

There are 8 teams for males, and 6 teams for females.

Males: HELP UC, Lim Kok Weng, Apiit, UCSI, Nottingham, IMU, Segi and KLIUC
Females: HELP UC, IMU, Apiit, UCSI, Nottingham and i don't know another 1. XD

In the grouping stage, males went against Apiit in the first round. And we lost. :p Lim Kok Weng didn't manage to turn up. So we need to win against UCSI to go into semi. And we did won UCSI.. yea yea.. happy.. so we were in the semi.

match against UCSI i think XD

For the girls, they fought pretty close with IMU, and won. and then won Apiit as well, with a breeze if i not mistaken. Our girls strong ok.. Roar~

Against Apiit?

In semi, the guys was up against Segi college. Erm.. nothing to comment i guess.. just that lose a lot of points in service. grrr... after losing to Segi, then compete with Apiit again for 3rd placing. and this time we won.. woo hoo hoo.. so males got third placing

For the females, semi they went up against Nottingham, and won. In the finals, they finally met their rival UCSI. And it was a very close fight. Both teams won a set, and it was the final set. Both teams service also fail. XD... but in the end, we won.. woo hoo..

time for some pictures shall we?

male team with the coach for the day, Mr. Mark

female team with coach, Mr. Cheng

everyone together..

our new president.. XD

and the GLORIOUS CUPS. :D

God Bless~

Bad sleep, bad dream

2009-12-08T20:50:00.001-08:00

I have a bad sleep today.. didn't really slept well cause a lot of mosquito bites.. i finally woke up, and checked the time.. it's about 5.20.. for the whole 4 hours and 20 minutes.. didn't really slept also.. toss and turn and then mosquito bites.. grr..

then after that, tried to sleep again, and got bad dream.. =.=;

i dreamt that i was in a shopping complex wanting to buy some stuffs (i do remember that there are other people together with me, but i don't really remember whether it's my family members or not).. so anyway.. walk walk.. want to buy stuff, and entered a shop.. but that shop doesn't have the things we wanted to buy.. so walked out..

after walking out, there was an announcement saying that the cinema does not sell food. we were pretty suprised by the announcement and therefore decided to have a look at the cinema, since we were not very far away from it.. and the cinema was jam packed. brimming with people..

but that's not the exciting part.. the exciting part is that there is a huge guy who is cleaning the walls of the cinema.. and by huge, i mean really huge.. like.. double of yao ming's height and size. and he was so odd that i looked at him for a little longer.. he was big, and had a some hair at the back of the head.. he was scrubing the wall of the cinema while walking on the escalator.

so after that, i left and suddenly there was a ruckus.. the big dude fell (i don't know from where and how), but he did fell and he was pretty much in pain.. covering the back of his head with his two arms.. then suddenly, people started to pull away his hands and feet and 1 person stepped on his neck.. they pulled and *snap*. i presumed that his limbs are no longer attached to his body.. of course i wouldn't know for sure because just before it snapped, i looked away..

at this point.. i not sure whether i am awake or not.. but i think i am half awake.. i did feel whether i should continue sleeping, or wake up.. but i did continue sleeping and so my dream continued

i don't know why the people do what they did to him, but that got me and the people who were shopping with me scared and we ran. run run run, run until some place which i don't even know where. it's like a mountain-eous place and i am at a place built with stones (at this point, i only remember me, but i am not together with the people in the shopping complex anymore). i remember there was an old man there, and it seems like he can predict the future or something. he drew a picture, and the picture can actually move, sorta kinda like revealing some sort of secret with the movements.

then a huge monster appeared. by huge, i mean.. HUUUUGEE.. like ultraman monster huge.. and the monster was heading towards us.. i got scared, and ran. i tried hiding from the view of the monster.. and we sorta play hide and seek with each other.. although the monster is big, but it's fast.. then appeared a african lady, with a gun.. always shooting at the monster.. one might think that she's nuts.. but i remembered her saying that the monster is her pet. -.-;

after that, don't really remember anything anymore.. really crazy dream.. y am i having so many bad dreams recently?

the worst part in the dream is the snapping of the limbs la... after waking up, i ponder to myself.. do humans kill other humans just because they don't look like each other? do we kill each other just because we don't look like each other?

God Bless~

MATRADE 2007

2009-12-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

I officially started working in 2007 for the Food and Beverages Fair in MATRADE Centre. And for this work, i did blog-ed about it http://bpsych-ers.blogspot.com/2007/07/first-day-of-work.html

But that time no pictures ma.. hahaha.. now got pictures already. One main reason why this happens is because i don't have my own camera. so i rely on other people to snap the photo and afterwards send it to me. so that's y many old overdue posts..

so yea.. a little refreshment.. since the event is food and beverages fair, there are lots of sample food to eat.. so me and my friend went around eating food samples for our lunch and tea. hahaha.. good in a sense that there are tons of variety (just opposite our stall got halal daging salai. XD), but bad is that.. there is nothing which u can eat a whole lot.. takkan want to stand at that stall and eat and eat right? malu la.. ho ho..

this is my friend, who worked with me in the same stall. she helped me find the job.. ho ho

her name is Yi Ling

together with 2 of my superiors

God Bless~

HMC Ball 2006

2009-12-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Yes yes... super overdue.. now close to 2010 only come blog about this.. haha.. but i super free.. apa boleh buat? XD

For 21 years of my life, this is the first ever prom/ball that i ever went too. Not because i want to, but because i HAVE to. I am one of the commitee member for HMC Student Council, so have to go and do work.. But at least it's free.. good thing it's free cause i didn't even manage to eat anything except for a bowl of fried rice.. was controlling the lighting from above..

the stage. nice?

reception area

starting performance.. pretty impressive i should say..

the nice nice entrance

and finally, everyone enjoying on the dance floor

all in all, eventhough i didn't eat much, i was happy i guess.. i still remember the whole council went up stage and dance to Goo Goo Dolls song - Iris. Didn't enjoy much of the ball, cause i was controlling the lighting, but it was good i guess.

Me and prom don't mix i think cause i don't or probably can't communicate well with people.. if i sit at the table, i can only imagine me eating non stop. XD all in all, it was an experience which will never be forgotten, but me and prom really no friend. so expensive for a night.. worth it ma?

God Bless~

Bpsych Lunch

2009-12-04T01:25:00.000-08:00

I suddenly find myself super free these days.. or probably for these few weeks only.. ho ho.. and so i decided that one of the things that i shall do is blog, and i have many events to blog about. events which previously i didn't blog because... i was either lazy/busy/any other reason.

there is no order to my events posting.. just random.. so we shall start.. Bpysh Lunch 2007

Our department, the Psychology department have this lunch which they welcome new students into their departments. but students must wear this 'graduation robe' to signify that we will strive towards our graduation. it is a motivation for us, and i wonder how many of us still remember that day?

Me, Meng and Jian

Back then, lameness knows no end

Back then, vain-ness knows no end

All the leng zhais and leng lui?

The one in the middle is our Dean, hopefully we can wear the robe, with a square hat by the end of next year, or probably the starting of the following year :D graduation is not a dream anymore, it's becoming a reality

God Bless~

Counselling sessions

2009-12-02T05:00:00.001-08:00

Today is the last day of my counselling sessions. I went for counselling as a means for bonus marks for one of my classes, and i guess it is beneficial for me.

I talked about relationships in the sessions, but of course, the details are pretty secret. I now realized some of the thoughts which have been making me do what i do.

today i shared a news with my counsellor and she replied "you said that with a smile on your face, with a cheeky smile" i guess i am happy when i heard that news. but whether or not this happiness will be long lasting is another matter. i am happy nevertheless

oh if you don't understand what i am saying here it's owhkay :D

God Bless~